scars (SEQUEL TO BRUISES)

part 7

Saturday came around much faster than you had anticipated, the week being eaten up by TXT work and preparing for the ball.
On Wednesday, you had gone shopping during lunch, looking for a dress to match Yoongi's tie.
ring ring, ring ring, "(Y/N)? What's the matter?" Yoongi asked.
You chuckled into your phone, "What do you mean?"
"You never call me, so something must be up. What's the matter?" He asked. You laughed again.
"Well I am having a type of emergency. A dress emergency," you said, your hand running over a rack of mint green dresses.
You heard his laugh through the phone and you couldn't stop the smile from spreading across your face.
"What's wrong with the dresses?" He asked, and you could hear the smile in his face.
"Well...I know Bang PD told us we had to be discreet on Saturday, but do you think, maybe you could tell me the colour of the tie you're going to wear? Just so that we don't wear clashing colours or anything," you asked, unsure of whether Yoongi would obey.
"Ummm," he said, but you could tell in his voice that he was going to say yes anyway.
"Yes?" You asked, playfully.
"Navy blue, I'm wearing a navy blue suit and tie," he told you.
"Hmm well that's such a coincidence, I was going to buy a navy blue dress actually!" You lied, putting on a facade to hopefully make him laugh.
You succeeded, and he laughed through the phone, "Hmm, well I suppose we'll just have to wear the same colour then," he said, as if there was no way around it at all.
"How's work going?" You asked him.
For a moment, he was quiet and then he said, "Oh yeah really good! Sorry, I should probably actually get back to it. I'll see you at home?" He had asked.
"Sure, see you later Yoongi."
On Thursday you painted your nails a light pink, neutral colour and, with the way that time flies, it was already Saturday.
You got ready at home but you were on your own. Yoongi and the boys were all being made up by the same stylists so they had to be together.
But you were still excited, this would be your first company party!
You spent time curling your hair and doing your makeup, enjoying the process and taking your time.
You shuffled into your dress and struggled to do the zipper up, and you thought about how if Yoongi was here he could have helped you, but you shook the thought away.
Once you were ready, you waited a little until your phone buzzed with a text from your driver to tell you he was outside the house, ready to pick you up.
You hopped into the back and the driver whizzed away, almost like you were Cinderella and this was your carriage, only it was a black car that resembled a people carrier car.
You texted Yoongi telling him you were on your way now, but he didn't reply, probably because he was already at the party. You were running fashionably late.
You couldn't stop your knee from bouncing with all your excitement quickly turned into nervousness.
When your car pulled up at the venue, you took in the sight. About a hundred paparazzi stood outside the building, snapping, all putting their cameras away and packing up to go home. They must have just been there to take photos of BTS and the new rookie group, and this must mean they were already inside.
You got out of the car and thanked your driver, before tottering up the stairs carefully in your heels and entering the building.
The venue was like an old derelict castle that had been furnished just for the party tonight, so the lights against the walls and around the edges of the big room made it look very cool.You walked into the ball, trying to find people you recognised, but a lot of the faces were familiar.
There were back up dancers, stylists, directors and everyone in between, but you couldn't really cling to anyone. So you stood on the edge of the room, to get a better view.
You took in the view of the party and spotted the boys, BTS, dotted around the party, mingling with different people who must've been important.
You couldn't find Yoongi until...your eyes landed on him. But also the person he was talking to. The girl.
It was Lina.
It wasn't just them two in the conversation though, and you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw two other back-up dancers also talking to them.
Then you were tapped on the shoulder, you turned and saw Beomgyu of TXT. You had already met the boys and were just starting to get to know them, so you chatted with Beomgyu for a while.
The night went on, and you couldn't help but keep looking over at Yoongi, who was still talking with Lina.
An hour later, the room was hushed into silence when Hitman Bang gave a speech.
As everyone watched him, you watched Yoongi, and all you wanted to do was be by his side all night. You felt like a loner without him, and things didn't feel right.
It felt like your invitation to the ball was a mistake, which was one of the most isolating feelings.
Bang Si-Hyuk finished his speech and you hadn't even taken in a single word, as the party resumed and you were now on your own as Beomgyu had excused himself to talk to some press.
You decided to go to the toilet, not because you needed it, but to give you something to do so you didn't look awkward and as if you had no one to talk to, because that was exactly the case.
The toilets were the most lavish toilets you had ever seen, and you were the only one in there, so you just stood at the sink for a little while. You checked your phone, although you knew you had no messages.
You even stooped to the level of answering emails because you didn't want to go outside and face the fact that you had no one to talk to and were too awkward to start a conversation with someone new.
You sighed and put your phone in your clutch, looking up at the mirror.
You saw that your lipstick had worn off slightly so you pulled out your lipstick and started to reapply it, thinking about how you didn't think Yoongi had even noticed you tonight and that there was no point putting so much effort in.
At that moment, the door opened, so you looked to see who it was, and when you did, you wished you hadn't. It was Lina.
"Oh," you said, your surprise unveiled, "Hey."
She smiled fakely and walked over to the mirror beside you, swaying her hips as she went. "Hiya."
She also started reapplying her lipstick as she asked, "how are you?"
"I'm doing good thanks. And you?" You say, trying to be civil when that was the last thing you wanted to do.
"I've been better," she said, and you knew she wanted you to ask why but you wouldn't. You didn't want to know. "Me and Tai broke up."
You paused for a beat and then carried on, "Oh, I'm sorry," the tone in your voice showed how ungenuine you really felt.
"Don't be, it was for the best. He was still hung up on you," she said. But she said it so passively you thought you misheard.
"Me?" You asked.
"Yeah, he wouldn't stop comparing me to you, said I was too..brave. I don't know. Anyway, how are you and Yoongi?"
You nodded and smiled, but when you caught yourself in the mirror you could see the falter in your smile.
"We're doing really well actually. Thanks."
"Oh right. I haven't seen you two together tonight though?" She asked, and it felt like a punch in the gut.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, "this is a work event, he's here as BTS and I'm here as TXT's chief producer," you said, showing off your promotion. "We don't need to cling onto each other all night."
She nodded and smiled, "okay, but you might just want to keep an eye out, there's a lot of single girls here like stylists. If they think he's single, they might just make a move," she said with a wink. "See you out there. Or not," she added and then headed out of the bathroom.
You watched her as she made her way out of the bathroom and then exhaled when the door closed behind her.
You leant over the sink and felt the tears threatening to rise up, but you held them back as best you could.
You shook your head as you dismissed the idea of Yoongi ever doing anything with anyone else. Even if they are prettier, more stable, more confident....
You were determined not to let Lina ruin your night so you took a deep breath, smiled at your reflection in the mirror and headed back out to the party.
You looked around, looking for someone to talk to and you saw Yeonjun. You walked up to him and chirpily said, "Hey!"
"Oh hey (Y/N), I'm sorry, I'm just about to do an interview with a magazine editor, can we talk later?"
You nodded and smiled, "Sure."
You looked around the room again and every other member of TXT was also busy.
You tried to stop the bangtan boys and as you scanned the crowd, you found them all, stood in a circle, talking with Bang Si-Hyuk and their manager Sejin.
Except Yoongi wasn't there. Maybe now was your chance to talk to him and just say hi.
You looked around in hope, hoping to catch him getting a drink or not talking to someone. And then you found him by the bar, across the room. You smiled as you tried to cross the dance floor to make your way to him, but just as you were about to, you watched as Lina swooped in, sitting on the barstool next to his and talking to him.
You watched as he turned on the barstool and smiled at her. A smile you had seen before. The smile he smiled at you.
It felt like you were watching the world on mute as he made a joke that made her laugh and she put her hand on his biceps, flirtatiously.
He laughed along and didn't shrug her off and at that moment you had had enough.
You turned on your heel and stormed off, heading out of the building and down the steps.
You found a taxi waiting for the ball to end, even though it was supposed to end in another 3 hours.
In the taxi, you couldn't help but let some tears fall as the disappointment sank in. Your biggest fear had come true.
You were not enough for Min Yoongi.