A Way Back - The Maze Runner (♡Newt)

Chapter 82

Cally's pov

I didn't want to leave. Okay, that's not true, I did want to leave the Maze and the Glade and the Grievers and Beetle Blades. What I did not want to leave, however, was Ezra.
     But Newt was right, we couldn't stay and I couldn't take him with us. I had no choice.  Not a real one, at least.
     I hated seeing him like that, cold and stiff, missing a limp. But for some reason, I didn't seem able to rip my eyes away from him. It was the same as when Ben got Banished, only way worse. This time, it wasn't some guy I barely met and didn't like to have around. This time, it was my brother. Maybe not by blood, we weren't sure anymore about that, but he still was and always will be my brother. My twin. My Ezra.
     It was my turn to jump through the Griever Hole, Minho stopped me before I could. He hugged me in a way he had never done before. Maybe it was because we had just survived a fight to the death with a bunch of mechanical monsters, or maybe it was because of the people who hadn't.
     Part of me wanted to hug him back, but something inside of me didn't let me. It felt wrong... my body felt wrong...
     Noticing my lack of reaction, Minho let go of me. Did I just hurt his feelings? I asked myself when I saw the difficult expression on his face. Quickly he masked it, gesturing to the Griever Hole that had been made visible to us by the dozen or so veins, all of them thrown into it from different angles, disappearing into midair. "Be careful." Minho told me. 
     "Don't die." I repeated his ow-so clever speech right before we went inside in such a depressed tone that I scared myself for a second. And seeing Minho's face, I scared him too. Trying to brush it off, I forced an awkward laugh. "Just joking. Of course I'll be careful. Don't wanne fall to my death now after all that."
     Minho didn't seem to know how to react, and it also didn't help that I couldn't seem to read his expression. "What? Can't take a joke anymore, br---  P- Pretty Boy?"
     I couldn't say it. I wanted to say bro. Such a simple word, I can't even begin to count how many times I'd said it before. But this time I just couldn't get it over my lips. I chocked on the word, I tried to cover it up by using his other nickname. Only this time, I knew for sure he noticed. He definitely noticed the tears I tried to suppress, so before I could make things worse, I took the leap and jumped.
     The moment I fell through the Hole, it felt like I passed through some sort of cold jelly substance. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't fluid. There was a tingling sensation, as if it had been charged with electricity just before I hit the ground. Not expecting to hit the ground that fast, I lost balance and fell on my knees. 
     "You okay?" The only other woman among us asked while helping me on my feet. 
     "I'm fine," I lied with a small smile. I could see Teresa didn't believe me, but before she could say anything about it, I got attacked with a hug from Chuck. 
     "I'm so glad you're alive!" He exclaimed, his voice muffled in my chest.
     Hesitantly I wrapped my arms around him as well. "And I'm glad you're okay." I managed to get out with something that sounded like a stable voice. 
     "Without him we wouldn't be here." Teresa said, a smirk on her face as she looked at Chuck with something that resembled pride. "He found the button we had to press to stop the Grievers." 
     "Really?" I asked Chuck, ruffling his curly sheep-like hair. I should've been proud of him. He saved us after all. But I didn't, a bitter tang filled my mouth as I bit my tongue, tears stinging my eyes while I suppressed the part of me that wanted to yell at him for not finding the button sooner.
     Chuck seemed to be baffled by the compliment because even though the room was dark, I could still see the shy smile on his lips and the red that crept up his cheeks. "I guess..." He eventually mumbled. 
     "I'm so proud of you." I said as I pressed the boy into another hug and almost broke down entirely. My anger mixed with a feeling of guilt for not meaning those words. Not really. And I hated myself for it.
     The sound of a pair of feet hitting the ground startled me, causing me to let go of Chuck and turn around. It was Minho, and unlike me, he didn't lose his balance. 
     "Minho!" A relieved Thomas shouted. "Are you okay? What about everybody else?"
     Clearly exhausted, Minho stumbled a little, leaning against the closest wall while taking deep breaths. "We lost a ton of people... It's a mess of blood up there... then they all just shut down." There was a short pause while Minho took another deep breath, "you did it. I can't believe it actually worked." 
     Newt was the next one to jump through. He stumbled a little due to his left foot and I,  almost on instinct, quickly helped him keep balance. He shot me a smile the moment he noticed me, which I tried to return.
     When no one else followed, Thomas looked around us with concern in his eyes. There were about 23 of us left. All bloody and with ripped clothes, the yellow Griever slime standing out like a sore thumb between all the grey shades. It took some time before he even dared to ask the question. "The rest?"
     "Half of us," Newt said with a weak voice. "Dead." I squeezed his shoulder, knowing he was devastated, probably feeling responsible for every single one of his friends that didn't make it. In response, the boy took my hand in his. Something told me he wasn't going to let go of me any time soon and if I was being honest with myself, I don't think I would be able to keep myself together if he did.
     Chuck softly tugged on my other arm, looking up at me with big, scared eyes. "Ezra... is he..."
     Not able to say anything, I nodded my head once. Chuck's eyes widened before he hugged me again, this time only from one side. "I'm sorry..." He whispered, but I couldn't respond in words, my throat wouldn't let me, so I lay my free arm around him, pressing him closer. A feeling of resentment toward myself for wanting to yell at this little bugger filled my stomach.
     There was a silence after that. No one dared to say a word for a very long time. All of us grieving our lost friends. 
     "You know what?" Minho eventually broke the silence, standing up a little taller. "Half of us might've died, but half of us shucking lived. And nobody got stung-- We gotta get out of here."
     I didn't say anything. I get where Minho was coming from. He was trying to talk courage in all of us, to show the positive side. Somewhere, he was right, we made it. If we hadn't done this, if we hadn't fought the Grievers now, we could've all died eventually. But that didn't make losing all of them feel better, and it most certainly didn't make up for it. 
     Let's get out of here," Newt said. "Right now."
     "Where do we go?" Minho asked, looking over at Thomas in the hopes that he knew the way. And surprisingly, he actually did.
     The boy pointed at the long tunnel behind us, "I heard the door open down that way." 
     "Well, lets go." Minho answered. He turned and walked to the tunnel without bothering for a response. The only thing he did was turning to me and whispering "Alons-y," with a wink and a smirk.
     It should have made me smile. It would've made me laugh if I hadn't been feeling like shit, so for now the almost unnoticeable flicker of amusement inside of me already mend the world to me.  
     Newt started to get the other Gladers to follow, Chuck first didn't want to walk away from me, but I convinced him to go, promising I would be right behind him. 
     "I'll go last," Thomas told Newt, who didn't argue and just nodded. 
     We all walked through the dark, shallow hallway. Newt still refused to let go of me, as if the moment he would let go, I would disappear. To be honest, I probably would have because that's exactly what I wanted to do. Just disappear into the dark and never be seen again, not without my brother.
     The further we went, the more the darkness seemed to swallow all of us, including the dim light from the few flashlights that we had spread through the group of surviving Gladers.
     After a few minutes, we could hear shrieks in the distance. They weren't shrieks of fear, but more of... Joy? Or excitement? The shrieks faded away pretty quick, but then came the next one. And the next one. And the next one.  I was wondering what was going on, I didn't know if I should be scared or not. My emotions weren't the most stable at the moment. 
     Murmurs were slowly making their way to us until Teresa eventually understood what they were saying. "Looks like it ends in a slide up there, shooting downward."
     I let out an annoyed sigh.  "Of course," I mumbled. "A slide. The only thing that was still missing. A bugging slide..." I didn't know if anyone heard my mumbling, except for Newt, who squeezed my hand.
     It didn't take long before we reached the thing. It was big and dark. Looking down made my head spin. The darkness seemed to devour every single Shank that went down.
     Chuck went first, then Teresa, and then it was my turn. I gathered all the courage I still had left and climbed onto the cold metal.
     I remembered going down the slide in our garden, only that one was made out of plastic, and every time I would go down it on a sunny day, I would get a small, static shock. The first time that happened, I cried, I was too scared to go down the slide again. Until Ezra attached the garden hose to the top of it and turned it on. The water felt cold against my skin, and it drained my clothes, but there never was a shock again.
     This slide wasn't like that. It was cold and sticky because of the blood, sweat, and mucus from the other guys that already went down it.
     Quickly, I shook my head, getting rid of the fake memory. That never happened. It was placed inside my brain by the Developers. All of that wasn't real. This was real.
     Finally, I pushed myself away, letting myself disappear down into the darkness for as long as it would last.