Chapter 54

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Cally's pov

That night, I barely could close my eyes. I still heard Ben's screams, and I saw his panicked eyes staring at me every time I closed my own. His words still fresh on my mind. His pleading eyes while he begged me to help him... I wanted to help him. I wanted to so badly.
     Right now, I was sitting on my bed, staring out of the only window in my room. Legs pulled up against my chest with arms wrapped around them. Bark was asleep on my bed, taking in almost all of the space. Not that I minded, I couldn't sleep anyway. The urge to listen to my mp3 was big, I hadn't listened to it in some time, and I craved music at this point. The only problem was that the batteries were almost empty. I had found new ones in my bag last time, so that worked for a while, but now those were also almost dead, and when they died, I wouldn't be able to listen anymore.
     I almost reached for it, but something inside of me told me not to, so instead, I just continued staring out of the window. Alone with my thoughts.
     I let my eyes go through the Glade. It was dark, the stars lightened the sky a little. I always loved the stars, but I never learned to read them. I used to tell myself that I would learn it one day, but now I regretted procrastinating on it so much... If I had just taught myself, then I would be able to tell where we were. Or at least get an idea. I couldn't see the polestar, but I didn't know what that meant geographically speaking. I tried mapping the stars in my head a week back, but I came to the conclusion that I didn't have the right skill set. With other words, it didn't matter what part of the sky I drew, I could never find it back the next night. Which became frustrating, so I stopped trying.
     My thoughts of the stars had distracted me for some time, but when my eyes saw the wall in front of me, I couldn't help thinking of Ben. The deafening scream he let out right when the door closed... what would he have done after that? Did he stand there, in front of the door? Screaming and shouting to let him back in? Or would he have tried to climb the vines  that grow on the wall in an attempt to get back inside the safety of the Glade? That would probably be what I would've tried. The first day I got here, I tried to climb up the wall to get out of the big square. I now know that that would've been the stupidest thing I could've done...
     My thoughts got disturbed by a sound, metal on stone, I knew the sound. A Griever. Probably on the other side of the wall the Homestead stood near. The wooden walls weren't exactly soundproof, so it wasn't uncommon that I would hear a Griever walk by. Normally, it didn't bother me that much, but right now? It just made me more scared for Ben. Did he fell silent when the doors closed? Scared the Grievers would hear the noise and come for him?
     I hoped Ben was able to find a place to hide, save from the ugly monsters. Thinking about what they would do if they got to him was the worst part. Sting him, or crush him or eat him. Hunt him down through the giant Maze, just playing with him until they get bored and rip  him to pieces. The image of Ben getting riped apart by those creatures made a tear slip out of my eye. I know I've never seen them do that, but it didn't matter. Whatever kind of fate Ben was about to meet or already had met, no one deserved something like that.

After sitting wide awake for another hour, I couldn't take being alone anymore. I needed company. Even if it just was someone sleeping in the same room while I was awake, it was already better than this.
     Carefully, I stood up from my bed, trying not to wake Bark, which I succeeded in for once. I closed the door to my room behind me as I made my way downstairs.
     I was heading for Ezra's room. My brother shared it with a bunch of other Gladers, so when I reach it, I would've to be very careful to only wake up Ez, but I wasn't that bothered by that. As I reached the end of the stairs, I took a sharp turn to the right, only to bump into someone. With a yelp, I jumped back, tripping over my own feet in the process, falling backward on the wooden floor.
     I had squeezed my eyes closed when I fell, so when I opened them again, I was looking up at Newt's face. It was dark, making it hard to see much, but I saw enough to know that Newt was trying not to laugh.
     "You okay?" He asked in a whisper voice. I pushed myself up to a sitting position, growling a little because of the pain in my back.
     "I'm fine. This was all planned out." I responded, my voice also a whisper.
     Newt chuckled as he helped me stand up, "'course it was, Slinthead."
     I gasped at the insult, swatting him on the arm. "Ow, slim it, shuck-face!" I whisper yelled at him. "What are you even doing here?" I continued, trying to change the subject from my clumsiness.
     "I was gonna eat somethin'." He answered, still whispering. "Now, where were you goin'?"
     I glanced behind him to the door that led to my brother's room. "To Ezra," I answered shortly.
     "Ezra? At this bloody time, ya were gonna wake your brother?"
     I nodded, "Yep."
     "Why?"
     I thought for a moment, I didn't want to admit the real reason. "Just because..." I said, sounding a bit more awkward than intended.
     Newt raised an eyebrow at me. "Just because?" He asked, clearly not believing me.
     "Yeah... not really a reason... just gonna visit my brother in the middle of the night... Normal, sibling stuff..."
     "Cally, are you 'kay?" Even though we both were still whispering, I could hear the slight concern sounding through.
     "I'm fine, how about you?" I answered him, only Newt ignored my question.
     "Are you lying to me, Cals?"
     "No!" I whisper yelled again, "I'm fine, really I'm..." I stopped talking when I looked up at Newt's face. He had both eyebrows raised now, indicating that he didn't believe a word from what I was saying.
     "Okay, I'm not fine. Now happy?"
     Newt's faced softened a little, "not really. Wanne come with me? Don't worry about Frypan. He's sound asleep right 'bout now."
     I glanced back at the door from Ezra's room and then back at Newt. If I go with him I don't need to wake Ez... and I am a little hungry... I thought. "Okay, sure, let's eat." I answered with a small smile. Newt returned the smile and walked past me towards the kitchen, taking my hand in his as he did so to take me with him. I didn't protest, I needed company right now, and holding Newt's hand was nice.
     As we walked into the kitchen, I closed the door behind us as Newt turned on the small light in the corner by the fridge. This way we wouldn't wake people up with the lights.
     "Let's see what good ol' Frypan has lyin' around," Newt said as he opened the fridge. I hopped on the nearest table, it was normally used to make the sandwiches on, but now it was my chair.
     "Want some chicken?"  Newt asked me as he pulled out a plate of leftover chicken. It was already cooked, only cold.
     "Ow, yes, please," I said as I took the plate from him and started eating. It didn't take long before Newt took out some leftover sandwiches and sat down beside me.
     After I finished the chicken, I washed my hands and went to look inside the fridge myself. I didn't know what I wanted to eat, but when my eyes fell on a small bowl of blueberries. I took it out, put it on the table, and started to eat. It didn't take long for Newt was done eating. He placed his leftovers from the leftovers back inside the fridge before he leaned back against the table.
     After some time of standing in silence, I noticed Newt was staring at me, I glanced up from the bowl. "What?" I questioned while putting another blueberry in my mouth.

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