A Way Back - The Maze Runner (♡Newt)

Chapter 76

Cally's pov

After what felt like days, but again was just about an hour or two, Thomas, Teresa, and I saw Newt approach us from the Homestead.
     He made his way to us running, which made his limp even more noticeable. Not long after he had reached us, it had become clear that Thomas's plan was a go. We were going to try and leave this place by  jumping through an invisible hole in an abyss. Best plan ever! It was even so good, that some of the Gladers didn't feel worthy to participate and, instead, were going to stay in the Glade and take their chances. 
     Yeah, I'm being sarcastic. It was a horrible plan. But even though it was a horrible plan and I had a really bad feeling about all of it, I still was with the majority of the Gladers and had decided to join them. 
     After about two hours of convincing the other Shanks to come with us and making sure there were groups of people working on either food, water or weapons, it was finally the time I had been waiting for. I was going to get some answers.
     We were sitting in my old room, and with we, I mean Thomas, Newt, Bark, my brother Ezra and I. Minho wanted to be there as well, but he had to go into the Maze with a group of other Shanks to make sure the Grieve Hole was still there. Just before he left, though, he was acting strange towards me. Minho had run up to me, pressing me in a close hug, and mumbled: "You are one of my favorite Shanks in this Glade, no matter what. Understood?"
     I was really confused. After chuckling awkwardly, I hugged back a little while mumbling a hesitant "Okay." Shortly after that, Minho led the group into the Maze, and we made our way to my room. 
     "Okay, so what you're saying is that: This place was build specifically to experiment on a bunch of orphaned teenagers, who apparently are supposed to be Sherlock level smart, which doesn't really matter since they all got send here with their fucking memories wiped. All named after a bunch of famously dead people for some bullshit reason that isn't clear. Besides all of that, Troy and Gabriella over here helped design and make a giant, moving Maze while they were toddlers and can talk telepathically. All to fix some mystery problem out there, in the real world, which our dear old leader is terrified of and doesn't want to return to?" Ezra repeated Thomas's story in his very own way.
     Thomas was leaning against the boarded up window, Ezra was sitting in a chair backwards with his arms leaning on the back of the chair. I would've sat down on the bed, but I was too nervous to sit down. Newt was standing beside me, leaning against the bed's headboard.
     "Seriously? Troy and Gabriella?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. I was a little bored since all of this information were things I either already knew or weren't a real surprise for me. Ezra, on the contrary, seemed to be a little overwhelmed, almost obsessively messing with the sharktooth around his neck. Still... his response was not as bad as I thought he would be. 
     After my commend, Ezra shot me an annoyed glare, "Ow shut it, Sharpay." I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but our little argument got completely ignored by the other two.
     "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." Thomas confirmed Ezra's story a bit hesitantly. Clearly struggling to understand the way Ez talked now he didn't have to tone down his normal lingo anymore.
     "That's some crazy shit man..." Ezra mumbled. And even though I completely agreed, I still wasn't very satisfied with all of this. 
     "Sorry, but um... What does all that have to do with us? Like, I get that we're in here as well, but why are we hearing all of this and not the others?" 
     An awkward silence fell while Newt and Thomas exchanged a heavy look. A newfound tension filled the air, making me a little nervous. I looked over at Ezra, who also noticed the change in atmosphere, his forehead wrinkled in a small frown as he looked at the two Gladers. Finally, Thomas broke the silence.
     "While... preparing, everyone for the Maze, there was a problem with the Swipe. - That's the thing they wipe memories with.-  Some of us reacted wrong. Their bodies rejected the stuff, fought back. Which resulted in some of us remembering things we weren't supposed to remember. There were fifteen in total."
     Thomas paused for a moment, he was avoiding eye contact with Ezra and me. The way he spoke made me think he felt guilty, in some way. "They got separated from the rest and got... special treatment. The Creators, they messed with their heads, more than with the others. Their memories of everything needed to be suppressed, but the only thing to do so, was by replacing them with other ones. So... They put them in a coma of sorts, so their subconscious was easier to access and change. The fifteen were put inside a simulated dream, based on how the world was before the Flare. Whatever that means-" Thomas took a deep breath before continuing.
     "In the simulation, they had a life, family, friends. They were able to make choices and communicate with the other fourteen children."
     "Where are you going with this?" I asked in a small voice. I already started to suspect what he meant, but I didn't want that to be true. It couldn't be true. Anything but that.
     Again, Thomas and Newt locked eyes for a moment, silently communicating about something. "Cally-" Newt started, but I didn't let him finish.
     "No!" I bit at him before turning back to Thomas. "Just- Just, say it." 
     "You two, are part of that group." I froze, staring at the brown haired boy in front of me who was still avoiding our eyes. Thomas had said it. Ezra and I... Our lives, our friends and family. Were all a simulation? Fake? All so we would participate in this crazy test?
     No. It can't be. 
     "It was all fake? Our lives, who we are, just fake? All of that, never really happened?" Ezra asked, sounding way calmer than I felt. I looked over at him to see I had misjudged his tone, he wasn't calm. He was in shock. He had even stopped fumbling with his necklace.
     "Not all of it!" Thomas said quickly, "It was all based on you. Your personality, your behavior, choices you made, test results, probability-"
     "You're lying." My statement interrupted Thomas and a short silence fell. "That's not true. It was real, o- our life was real. You're lyin-"
     "Cally, it's okay." Newt said in a calm voice, carefully taking my hand in his to try and show his support. But I didn't want it. I jerked my hand away from him, taking a step back. 
     "No! Th- this is insane. It's not true! Ezra, tell them. Tell them I'm right." I looked at Ezra with pleading eyes, hating how desperate I sounded, but then again, I was desperate. 
     Ezra looked at me, sadness in his eyes. I could tell he was doubting. "I... I don't know-"
     "Ezra!" I bit at him immediately. 
     "I'm sorry!" He yelled back, his hands up in the air. "I really am, Cally! But I think... it could be true."
     "Why else do you think you knew so much about medical stuff?" Thomas asked me in an attempt to make me think about it.
     I scoffed, "cuz I paid attention in biology class."
     Thomas shook his head, "A Camouflage made by the Creators so you wouldn't question how you knew the information they'd given you."
     I wanted to protest, but Ezra quickly jumped in, not giving me a chance to do so.
      "Just think about it! We're here, with them. We're the only ones with memories and you said it yourself, the things you saw during the Changing didn't make any fucking sense. Maybe that's because those were the real ones, and the other's are fake."
     Again, I took a sharp breath in order to protest, but Ezra didn't let me. "Or maybe not! But we could at least hear Thomas out."
     I scoffed, but decided to do what Ezra said. I crossed my arms and glared at the boy in front of us. "Okay, continue." 
     It was quiet for a moment, Thomas was hesitating, he was looking at me for the first time, guilt almost the only thing visible in them. "Okay, so, every third month, one of the fifteen got sent into a Maze. They would get a bracelet that would keep giving them the serums needed to suppress their old memories and sustain the new ones."
     Thomas nodded towards me. "When you took the bracelet off, you weren't getting them anymore. Your body started to fight back. And that's probably also why you were taken back through the Hole, to give you a new one."
     I looked at my wrist, the one with the bracelet. If he put it like that... it could make some sort of sense... but it wasn't true- it couldn't be.
     "Actually, Cally. You were a problem during the simulation. Your body kept fighting back. Making you wake up a few times as well. That's why you knew about the Maze. The Creators gave you memories of the place in the form of a story, so you wouldn't question it if you remembered something. Teresa... She thought it was a bad idea. She wanted the Creators to take you off the program. But your results were too promising." I made eye contact with the young woman, an unspoken understanding between us.
     "Teresa is also the reason you're in this Maze. With us. You weren't supposed to be, but she switched you with someone else so you and Ezra wouldn't be separated. You two bagged us to stay together."
     Ezra and I locked eyes. Okay, that did make sense. I wouldn't want to be separated from my twin. The few months I was without him, I missed him so much. But that didn't make all of it true, right? It could all be a lie, a test to see how we react. Or maybe it was all just a dream. It would be a big anticlimax, but at least it wouldn't mean it was all fake. My life... Our lifes...
     "Cally? You okay?" Ezra's voice got my attention. I hadn't noticed I had started to shake, my eyes filling with tears. I hadn't even noticed Newt's hand that now lay on my shoulder.
     I took a deep, shaky breath, my hand balled into fists. I looked from my brother, to Thomas, who still seemed to feel incredibly guilty, to Newt's brown eyes. He was the closest to me right now, his eyes filled with worry... Was it true then? Everything I know... all a lie? Fake? Created just to keep me calm? Compliant? I... I couldn't take it anymore. 
     "I- I uh..." Without actually making a sentence, I turned and left the room. Not reacting to the three voices calling for me. Telling me to come back inside the room. I just walked faster. I needed to get away from that place. So I did. I went to the one place that managed to calm me down just a little. The Deadheads.
     That's where I was. Sitting in the dark part of the small forest space. My legs pulled up against my chest with my arms wrapped around them and my head hidden between them. It was all just too much right now. I wanted to be alone, but unfortunately, I didn't get to be alone for long.
     "I thought I could find you here," I heard my brother's voice approaching me before he sat down in the grass beside me. 
     "Go away, Ezra." I said without looking up, but Ezra didn't make any effort to leave. He just sat there, with me, in silence. Until he decided it was time to talk again. 
     "Tell me what's wrong, Cally, you need to tell me now 'cause shit's gonna go down real fast." His voice was calm. He wasn't shaky, he didn't sound scared or upset, just calm. It unsettled me.
     I lifted my head to look at him, "How are you so calm? Did you not hear what Thomas said? About us?" 
     "That we were living in a simulated world? Connected with wires and shit? All for some weird experimental purposes that aren't clear? Yeah, I did, but after all this, I'm done being freaked out." 
     I scoffed. "I'm not freaked out. I- I'm angry. Why did they do this to us? What experiment is so important that they make us live a life in a simulator, with a family and friends, but then rip it away from us and put us inside a giant death trap for another experiment?"
     Ezra was quiet for a moment, thinking about my words. "If you look at it like that-" Ezra started, but I didn't let him finish.
     "Then again. Now we know that we're an experiment, but how do we know which parts of our lives were real and which were lies? I mean, you're real, and I'm real. But are we really twins? Hell, are we even related? We don't know! Did we even grow up together? For all we know, all of these memories were planted inside our heads, and we only think we did. Do we even have the same memories? What about the others? What about mom and Lilly and Darren? Are they real? Can we find them? Will we find them and be together again? Is the world even like the world we remember? According to Thomas, it's not. So is what I saw in that so-called "movie" how the world really is, and everything we know is just a pile of klunk?" 
     "Cally, shut up. Please, you're gonna make me cry." I looked up to Ezra. There was a little tremble in his voice, and his eyes indeed were filling up with tears. 
     "Sorry." I mumbled while letting my head lay down on my arms and legs again. Ezra wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders, pulling me towards him so I could lay my head on his shoulder instead. 
     "You know what, Cally? It doesn't fucking matter." Ezra started. "Maybe the other people we know aren't real. And maybe we didn't really grow up together. And maybe we aren't blood related. But you are my sister. Family isn't just the people who share the same blood, family is a feeling, it's a promise. It are the people we love and care about, sometimes even more then we do about ourselves. To me, you are my fucking sister and you always will be, no matter what happens." He stopped talking and kissed my forehead. 
     "I love you, little brother." I mumbled, re positioning myself so I was able to hug him.
     "Hey! I'm taller then you! You're the little one."
     "Well I'm older."
     Ezra scoffed, "yeah, like, 30 minutes."
     I chuckled shortly, "well, young man, in my time, we used to respect our elders. Not try to insult them with their length."
     This made Ezra laugh, "that's bullshit and you know it."
     "Language boy. Don't make me get my slipper."
     "You don't even have a slipper." Ezra stated while he rolled his eyes, still sounding amused. 
     "Not yet, but a big stick will do." We laughed, it felt good to laugh with him. He was right, we're family. And no matter what happens, we'll have each other. 
     "I love you too, by the way," Ezra said while rubbing his knuckles through my hair to mess it up. I groaned, irritated by his actions as I pushed myself away from him. 
     "Oh, by the way." I started, "you do realize that, if I'm Sharpay, that makes you Ryan, right?" 
     A new, slightly annoyed groan and eye roll came from my brother while he pressed his hand to my face, forcing me backwards. "Shut up. My reverence was perfect and you know it. And by the way, I would be the perfect Ryan." 
     I couldn't help but laugh at his remark. "You're an idiot."