Taken by the First Order -A Kylo Ren fanfiction-

Chapter Twenty Four: Under our stars

Aerolynn's pov 

Once we arrived back to the First Order ship and everything returned to normal, the next few weeks passed by quickly. I proceeded with my training, upping my voltage from normally twenty megavolts to over fifty, thanks to the lightning from Daelean. It must have stayed in my system, making me more powerful than I ever thought possible.

Kylo went back to his duties, seeing me only twice every week to train me and see my progression. We hadn't kissed since when we got reunited back in the arena, and I couldn't help but notice the awkward beat that had formed in our relationship.

It wasn't like we could openly kiss, or even show the slightest bit of affection towards each other because we didn't know who was watching. We weren't on the same secluded planet we'd been on before, that our relationship was built off of.

I didn't talk much to him, well, I didn't talk much to anyone anymore. My schedule was the same every day, I'd wake up train, eat, go to the library, work on my powers, eat, and then go to sleep. And by the end of the day I was too tired to go out and socialize, and besides when I was asleep I could escape the impending and nearly crushing guilt that I was feeling.

Once everything settled down and I wasn't being chased by slave traffickers, my feelings finally sunk in. Whenever I closed my eyes I'd be back on Daelan, in that same outfit, with Cassius underneath me, and I'd see his mouth form his final words, and then his eyes closing for the very last time.

His face seemed to be plastered onto the inside of my eyelids, and I could never escape him. I'd see him in my dreams, and I would wake up screaming for Kylo. But he wasn't there, he was never there. And then I'd wrap my arms around me, and cry myself to sleep.

It didn't make sense, I didn't know Cassius very well, he was just someone whom I had met in a neighboring cell. But, for some reason I felt like I had known him my entire life. He was friendly, and kind, and... exactly like my father.

Maybe that was the reason I missed him so dearly, and why I felt so bad for causing his death. For the past few months I subconsciously had been craving a father figure, someone to cling on to, to share my burdens with, and for the few hours that I had talked to him Cassius had been just that.

But that wasn't the only thing that had led to my overwhelming sense of guilt. Another part was the fact that people were dying because of me. It started first with my family, if it wasn't for me the First Order never would have went to Tatooine to find me, and if they didn't my family would have still been alive, along with everyone who was a part of my village.

And then with Cassius, if I hadn't been on that planet, in that same cell next to him then he would have went to work like normal, and he wouldn't have been... dead.

Everyone I had gotten close to was dead. Next in line was Kylo, if Snoke ever found out he too would be dead.

I was pulled out of my swirling thoughts by the sound of the clock chiming. I quickly snapped my book shut and put it back on the shelf, and hurried out of the library and back to my room.

I ran my fingers along the marble walls, shivering at how cold they were. Everything was always cold here, I was constantly wearing a jacket or long sleeves to keep myself warm.

I walked briskly down a corridor, humming a song I used to sing to Baiden when he was a baby. He always had a harder time falling asleep than Kaito had. He'd never want to be left alone, but my lullaby helped him to fall asleep, I frowned at the memory.

I got to Kylos door, thankfully not feeling his presence through our bond. Our bond was tricky, recently since we had barely been talking or interacting, every time I'd sense him it seemed to be with more desperation. Like the force was begging for us to come together again.