You're a Mind Fuck, Babe

Chapter 10: I'm Not Okay

I collapse onto my bed and he lays down beside me. He curls up and lays his head on my chest. It was weird seeing him so vulnerable. He begins sobbing into my shirt. I rub his arm with my thumb, holding him close. I hadn't ever seen a grown man cry like this. He lifts himself off of me and wipes the tears and snot off his face. He takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," his voice cracks as he says this. It makes me want to cry.

"Come here," I say, opening my arms. He lays on me again and I run my hand through his hair, kinda petting him. He falls asleep and I pull a blanket over him. I close my eyes and drift off soon after.

I wake up and Gerard still hasn't moved much. The only difference from when I fell asleep was that his hand was covering his face and now it was flat against my chest. He looks so innocent and young in his sleep. He looks like he could be younger than I am. He looks so peaceful.

I see his eyelashes flutter before his eyes open. He wipes the sleep out of his eyes. He props himself up.

"What time is it?" He asks. I actually have no idea. I pull my phone out of my pocket.

"1:39 in the morning," I reply.

"Can I just stay the night?" He asks. I kiss him on the forehead and nod. He stands up and takes off his shirt and his pants. He's standing in front of me in nothing but boxers and it's the first time I've gotten a good look at him without the intention of jumping his bones. I throw my shirt to the floor but keep my jeans on, simply because I had nothing under them and I didn't feel like finding something else to wear. He makes his way back up on the bed. He climbs over me and plants a kiss on my lips. His hand is on my jaw as he deepens the kiss.

"Thank you," he whispers, pulling away. He lays down beside me, half on top of me. I stroke his hair again and he quickly falls asleep. I stare at the wall, stroking his hair long past when he fell asleep and just think about how crazy everything has been. I've seen my teacher at a low and I've seen him at a high and both of them are just as terrifying.

My alarm clock goes off and I feel horrible. I wipe my eyes and yawn. His hand starts rubbing circles on my chest before I see his eyes open. He lets out a sleepy groan. He wipes his eyes and sits up.

"Do you have any clothes I could wear?" He asks.

"Don't you have what you wore yesterday?" I question.

"I've worn it for the past 3 weeks without washing it..." He explains.

"I have something that might work but you're gonna have to get into some skinny jeans because that's the only kinda of leg wear that I own."

"That's okay."

I walk over to my closet and pull out a black button up shirt that I hadn't seen in awhile.

"Will this work?" I ask, passing him the shirt.

"Yeah, it's perfect," he says. My mom must've done the laundry at some point because there's a pile of clean black clothes on my dresser when I move over to there to find some pants. I pass him a pair of black skinny jeans. He pulls the jeans over his boxers, jumping up and down to fit himself in them.

"I haven't done that in awhile," he laughs.

"It's part of my morning routine," I reply. He slides the shirt on and buttons it up. I see him there and I get an idea. I go back to my closet and pull out a red tie. I wrap it around his neck and tie it for him.

"Got any eyeliner to go with this?" He asks.

"I do actually. Wait... You were joking, weren't you?" I look up at him.