Stars | completed

27. Not My Manik

I lick my lips, nodding. I felt calmer talking it out, and a part of me felt so glad I agreed to come out for breakfast before going to his office, I really needed to say my problems out instead of sitting in a cocoon in the safety or my room.

"But do we have to start today? Can't we wait for the month start or something--?" I began again but his laughter cut me off.

"You'll be okay!" He interrupted, "I promise. Trust your best friend?"

"You're not my best friend," I huffed.

"Is there anyone else you could turn up to in the whole of London if you need anything?" He raised an eyebrow. I ignored him, not giving in just yet.

"Is there anyone else you even call a friend except me?" He teased again.

"Puh-lease," I rolled my eyes, "You make me sound like a loner."

But then somewhere, a smile cracked on my face. I got what he really did- diverted my attention.

"There it is! That lovely smile," he smiled. And I smiled a little more.

"Ah babydoll, what would you do without me?" He laughed. I smiled back, although that word stuck behind.

Babydoll.

I closed my eyes for just a moment and I couldn't ignore the hollow feeling in my chest, like something was empty inside me; which it was.

I tried ignoring it through the years, but deep down, I knew there was something broken inside me, something so shattered that it would never fix, never heal, no matter what I tried doing.

The waitress got our orders, and I looked up to give a polite smile, but her eyes wouldn't be off Zubin. Some charm this guy had.

Although Zubin looked straight at me. I suppressed a smile. "Have you got a diary like I asked you to?" He asked. I nodded as he continued, "Great. Give it to me, I'll put in a few numbers you should have as my secretary and as emergency contacts if I am unavailable."

I nodded, removing it from my bag and handing it over to him, as I left him to it, and continued my food, my mind drifting in and out of the thoughts I was trying hard to suppress.

"I am the psychologist, but you do have a way with words, don't you?" I saw him smirk as I looked up.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He seemed amused, "Isn't my bestfriend an amazing poet!" It didn't sound like a question.

"What?" I asked again, leaning forward and snatching the red diary from his hand which he was reading with so much amusement.

I glanced at the words scribbled across the page in random, in a familiar writing which definitely did not belong to me.

I lost myself
inside her world,
she found herself
inside of mine,
we loved this game
of hide and seek.

My heart skipped a beat the moment the words registered in my head.

My mouth suddenly felt dry and I felt like I was suffocating as everything that I had suppressed inside me came rushing back at once. I definitely lost appetite, feeling the need to puke. I gulped, as I kept staring at the oddly familiar writing for longer than I should, when there was nothing much to read.