16- We are always here for you

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Y/N's p.o.v

Taking Saeyoung's hand into my own properly, I gripped onto it like it was the rope that tethered me to reality.

"When I turned 15, everything got worse. The loneliness consumed me and life went dark. After losing all that was good in my life, I started taking it out on myself. I started- I started" tears fell silently down my face "I began cutting my Arms, it wasn't a lot at first because that was enough. But then it wasn't and I kept cutting all up my arms until I ran out of room and I moved to my legs"

I reluctantly lifted my head to face my only friends. Jaehee was holding back tears as she took notes of all that I said and for the first time Jumin was showing emotion. His eyebrows furrowed with concern as he held a hand to his mouth. Yoosung had let it all out and was uncontrollably crying into his shirt. I wanted to hold him and tell him that I was alright but I couldn't move. Then I looked at Saeyoung, in the instant his eyes locked with mine he engulfed me into a tight hug whispering to me that it would be okay, that we'd get through this as a group.

Yoosung joined next gripping tightly to me and Saeyoung. Then jaehee wiggled her way between Yoosung and seven to get a better grasp of me. Jumin was reluctant as he wasn't used to sentimental acts like group hugs and that was okay. I knew he cared, some people just show it in different ways. Instead he came and held onto my hand which I stuck out from between the hug smiling as I did so.

Jumins p.o.v

Sh-She's holding my hand, I felt myself blush but lucky for me she couldn't See  due to Yoosungs hair smothering her face.

Jaehee's p.o.v

She's so warm and welcoming despite the state she's in. How does U/N do it? How is she so kind and gentle with all of those horrible things spinning a web of lies in her mind.

Yoosung's p.o.v

I cried like a baby when Y/N told us about the self harm, it took me back to the time Rika killed herself I didn't want to go through that pain all over again with the girl that I love. She's my world and I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her; so I grip tightly to her short stature like if I let go, she'll disappear forever.

Saeyoung's p.o.v.

Of course I already knew this because the nurse had told me, yet it still hurt to have the assumptions completely assured to be true. I felt my heart crack as the tears welled in her tired, bruised eyes. The things this girl has gone through. The things I would do to see her smile.

"I'm always here for you U/N, no matter what your going through. I will never leave your side." I whispered softly into her ear. A gentle smile formed across her paled lips, and I felt my soul sink. So fragile yet so strong. Who are you really U/N? What don't I know about you.

*Time skip*

Y/N's p.o.v

It's been two weeks since the first day in the hospital, the nurses began to fuss over me more talking about how I can get through this and all that bullshit. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Now I have to go to stupid therapy and take shit tablets to make me "happy and calm". Bollocks. I don't like the way they make me feel.

One of the nurses caught me putting the tablets in the toilet as soon as she walked out the room, so now she watches me to make sure I've put it in my mouth and swallowed it. She means well but I don't need the tablets. So I tuck them under my tongue and hope it doesn't dissolve before she leaves the room.

"Hey Y/N, I brought gifts!" Saeyoung says as he bursts through my door (I was referred to this care home type place so they could watch over me until I'm better). He plonked himself down on the arm chair next to the white desk where I sat.

He reached his hands into his black and yellow backpack and pulled out a few items quickly tucking them behind his back.

"Stick our your hands" I do as he says and quickly I feel a packet of some kind in my palms.

"What is it?"

"Guess!" I squished the packet a little and then clicked onto what they were.

"Are they honey Buddha chips?" I asked with a hint of emotion in my voice. His eyebrows lifted, this is the most I've shown in the past two weeks since the confession.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" I opened my eyes and quickly opened the bag, the food here was average I needed something good.

"Don't forget your refreshment either" he snickers handing me a bottle of Dr Pepper. Part of me wants to squeal then and there but all I can do is eat crisps with a small smile on my face and say thank you. I can tell that my small amount of emotion means a lot to him as I've struggled to connect to any of them these past weeks.

He took out his own bag of crisps and his own drink and we sat in silence for a while. It was soothing and definitely helped. The others liked to make conversation with me but  I enjoyed the silence that Saeyoung brought. He understood me better than Jaehee or anyone else could.

"Hey Y/N?" I looked up and locked my eyes with his "I know you enjoy the quiet when I'm here with you, but can I ask you something" I softly nodded my head, he'd given me my space for weeks, the least I can do is answer his questions.

"Where are your parents? Whenever the nurses or the doctors ask you about them you avoid the subject so much I've had to jump in and tell them you stay with me. Did something happen to them?" His eyes held nothing but compassion, they made me feel safe.

"My mum left us when I was around 3, she fell out of love with my dad and married a woman. I haven't seen her since." I started. "It was hard on my dad at first but my sister and I helped him through, he said without us he wouldn't have been able to go on. Everything was okay until my sister jumped off a roof when we were 11." Saeyoung's eyes widened and his hand took place around his mouth.

"Y/N.. I had no idea, I'm so sorry"

"Don't apologise it wasn't your fault, it was mine. That's what dad said anyways, he said that I drove away my mum and and my sister and that I'd drive away everyone around me eventually. He has his moments where he's cruel but he's out drinking and taking drugs in other countries now I only see his positive side through the phone. That's why he's not here"

Saeyoung stared at me in shock as I held back tears in my eyes, I had never spoke about this with anyone properly before.

He stood up and made his way over to me and took my hand in his. It's so warm.

"Y/N I want you to know that you can always talk to me and thank you for trusting me enough to open up to me about this. We'll get through this together, okay?" He spoke softly, almost as if he was scared I would break into a million pieces if he spoke to loudly. I did nothing but blink.

He leaned in, putting his hand on the side of my face and gently kissed me on the cheek, his hand lingered slightly as his gaze drifted to my lips but then back to my eyes before he eventually left the room. Leaving me in a confused, blushing mess.

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So I hope you like this chapter it's a bit longer than normal at around 1368 words. Very proud of myself if I must say. Anyways leave a comment if you want and please vote it helps a lot! See you all in the next chapter :)

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 26, 2019 ⏰

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