Carter.

35.

Grayson swears that I was driving the snow mobile but we both know he was the only one that knew what was really happening.

We drove around for a couple hours, eventually racing around with the boys and going on some terrifying but amazingly beautiful trails.

It was a lot of fun and I felt like a teenager. I don't ever want to go back to my mother and that awful establishment. But I must. She returns in time for work on Tuesday. So life goes on. Shitty life, but life none the less.

I just want to stay out here in the cabin with Gray for the rest of my life. We are currently driving back to the cabin. It's only 5pm but the sun is already starting to set.

I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of really bummed that it's not just Gray and I. I love his friends, our friends, but this place is amazing and I don't want to share him.

With Grayson demanding to know everything, which I don't blame him for at all, it might be coming to end of our relationship. Once he knows everything, he'll be disgusted with me. I know I am. I honestly feel bad for ever letting him touch me. I can tell he's been ready to do more physical in our relationship. But he never pressures me at all, and honestly I want to too. I'm just not sure how I'll react. Like I probably have PTSD or whatever and I might freak out. I don't know.

Grayson parking the car in front of the cabin finally snaps me out of my deep thoughts.

"You okay babe?" Gray raises an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah for sure!" I force a recovery smile at him and open my door.

"Ready to lose in beer pong?" Turner asks while we walk up the cabin.

"Huh?" Why would be playing beer pong?

"It was just dumb luck, I'm going to beat you tonight."

"Oh, yeah. That's not going to happen." I roll my eyes at him.

"Are more people coming over?" I think Grayson mentioned that?

"Yeah, mostly everyone that was in the VIP room last night." I can't even picture faces from that room... I remember everything but not many small details like that.

"That should be fun." I shrug. So much for relaxing. We all walk in the cabin and sit on the couches. Gray runs to bathroom as soon as he unlocks the door.

"You and Gray okay?" Sam asks, confusing me.

"What?"

"Are y'all okay?" He asks again, gaining a "Huh?" from me.

"You just seemed really off in the car." Damn why does everyone notice when I'm in my own head?

"Oh yeah, we're totally good. I've just got a lot on my mind." I shrug.

"Well, loosen up shortcakes! We're partying tonight!" Brock says while bumping my shoulder.

"Yeah yeah okay." I half smile trying to rid the awful thoughts from my mind.

"Who's hungry?" Grayson booms as he walks into the living room.

"Fuck yeah!" Sam cheers his dark locks bouncing as he jumps up.

"Grateful head pizza?" Turner raises a brow at Grayson. Grateful head pizza???

"Duh." He rolls his eyes. "Already called it in. I'm going to go pick it up now if y'all want to get the place ready for tonight? People should be getting here soon."

I stand up not sure whether I'm going with Gray or staying to help. I really just want to eat and watch a movie or something chill but this weekend is for Grayson.