no escape (kave)

Chapter 17

Krist had woken up from his nap and tried to look for the other two. Dave's hotel room door was locked so he checked Kurt's room to see if they were hanging out in there. He didn't see them but he spotted a needle. The bassist's stomach dropped, he knew Kurt was shooting up.

Kurt and Dave on the other hand were walking back to the hotel room. Krist heard their footsteps and waited for them to come inside before he brought up what he found. But he was afraid Kurt would get pissed that he went through his shit- unintentionally, though, he saw it out of the corner of his eye.

The two walked in, already sensing something being off by the look on Krist's face.

"Are you ok man?" Kurt asked. Krist nervously smiled.

"Kurt, please be calm... Can you promise not to freak out on me?"

Kurt was confused and worried now. He hoped that his worst fear wasn't coming true.

"Krist what is it?"

"Okay I woke up from my nap not too long ago and I went to look for you and Dave. Dave's door was locked so I checked your room and right went I was about to go out of the corner of my eye I saw a needle... Are you shooting up?"

Dave's facial expression instantly changed hearing this.

"Kurt?! You're shooting up?" Dave raised his voice.

Kurt didn't know what to say.

"Krist, what the fuck were you doing going through my stuff?" Kurt growled.

"You didn't answer the question-"

"No shit I'm shooting up! Who's needle do you think it was?!" He freaked out, feeling too much shit at once with his band members knowing about him shooting up, "But you stay out of it! What I chose to do is none of your business!"

"Kurt, we only are concerned for you-"

"No! I don't want you to be concerned! You two out of my room now!"

Dave felt so shitty; he thought he saw a progress in Kurt. He thought he was doing so much better with handling his feelings and taking realization to the shitty way Courtney treated him. He thought their bond was approving, and that feelings were mutual now. Not only that but he had to worry for Kurt even more now? He already was worried for him enough, now he had to deal with him doing this drug? Too many thoughts rushed through his head. Krist waited outside the door for Dave so they could leave together but that's when Dave exploded.

"Why Kurt, why?! This drug will kill you, is that what you want?" Dave screamed, "I thought you were doing better! Do you know how fucking hard I try to make you happy and make you forget about the worries and pain Courtney gives to you? Do you even know how I feel about you, how much I fucking care about you and what we have?! But no that doesn't matter to you! Everything I do for you must mean nothing because you're here shooting up like the junkie you are! I can't believe you! I'm done putting up with you, don't ever expect me to care for you again!"

"What do we have, Dave? What the fuck are you talking about?!" Kurt yelled but his blue eyes started to swell up with tears. He broke eye contact with Dave so he wouldn't notice the crying. Those words hit him so hard, they hurt more than when Courtney beat him up or said nasty things to him. It hurt so bad because he loved him. "I was doing better! I am doing better now, do you have any idea how happy you do make me, how that all feels betrayed now? I guess I'm a junkie, I'm a selfish junkie who doesn't care for anyone according to you! I'm just gonna stop... Leave Dave, I don't want to see you. You hurt me...." Kurt said the last part quietly so he couldn't hear him. He felt tears falling from his face and Dave without another word left, slamming the door shut.

He felt terribly lonely, in these situations his band members were his only source for comfort. But now, he was alone again. He had no one to trust again, and it was all his fault. He felt guilty, he didn't mean to put all of this on his members. But he also felt betrayed, if Dave loved him he would've stuck with him and not said those terrible things.. Maybe he's worried?

Kurt told himself that Dave didn't care anymore; he was perceived as a junkie and broke what Dave felt for him. Guess Courtney was all he had now. It sucked because Dave made him feel amazing, hanging out with the drummer made Kurt feel loved. It was a positive attention, and even if it was wrong it didn't feel wrong. It was what he always wanted.

Dave cried the minute he was alone in his room. Cried out of fear for his bandmate; cried out of anger at him, and at the same time himself for what he said. Those words must have hurt Kurt, but Dave felt hurt too. He felt like everything he was working towards didn't matter anymore. He felt hurt that Kurt was taking such a dangerous drug and threw everyone away for it. The spiral was going to start and he didn't want to lose him. What can he do?

It wasn't Kurt's fault, would apologizing be a good option? Dave still felt angry and had to wait it off. He felt too many emotions and had to sort them out, tomorrow was a new day and he was going to have a new perspective on the situation.

Krist felt in the middle of this all; he heard what Dave and Kurt said and had so much questions. When Dave mentioned what they have, that confused him a lot. And the way Dave was talking, saying how much he tries to make Kurt feel good and how he cares about him.... He was oblivious to them fancying each other. But now they had a whole new issue on their hands.