The Harlem Way

Here's A Little Advice (Not So Short)

Sarai' Morgan

Five days. It's been five long days since I've last seen Jabri. To say the least, I was losing my damn mind. All my calls and texts were going unanswered and I was worried like hell. So, I had come to my last resort.

His mother.

Reem and Tez had told me that they hadn't spoken to or seen him either, and that was unusual. Whenever we had some sort of falling out, Jabri always kept in contact. But this time was different, which was unlike him.

"Hello?" His mother answered the phone. "Hi...Mama Nita. It's Sarai'." I greeted with a smile. "Hey baby, how are you?" I could hear the smile in her voice too. "I'm fine and yourself?" I returned. "Just old baby, what's up?" She laughed. "Uh...has Jabri been around?" My nerves were all over the place thinking about what could possibly be wrong.

"I haven't seen that boy since last week. What has he done now?" Her tone was already knowing which made me giggle. She knew her son was hardheaded as hell. "He's not returning any of my calls or texts." I told her. She sighed. "That boy is a mess. I knew that he would push you away." She sounded so disappointed.

Maybe calling this break wasn't the best thing to do right now.

I thought I was making the right decision at the time. But, seeing how things were playing out, I'm starting to think otherwise. It wasn't my intention to make him feel alone. I loved him and I would be there for him every step of the way. Honestly, I was just overwhelmed. Scared, even. The sudden change in his behavior gave me vibes similar to Q.

Although, Jah was nothing like him, under the influence, he wasn't himself either. I was used to him being slightly aggressive but that was only during sex. Even still, he never did too much to where I felt uncomfortable. I was just trying to prevent things from getting worse. "He can't be blamed for all of it. I should've just-" Before I could finish, she was hushing me up.

"Don't you blame yourself either, Sarai'. Jabri is grown and he makes his own decisions. Most times he doesn't listen to anyone and that's his problem. You can't love him if he doesn't allow you to baby." Her honestly brought tears to my eyes. I was saying the same thing to myself. "I love him...I truly do and I don't want him to think I'm giving up on him. Because I'm not." Even through tears I meant every word.

"Now that I do know," She giggled a little, making me smile. "Sometimes you have to pull back a little because if you give too much of yourself to others, what do you have left for you?" Those words made me think. "I've done it before and it's exhausting." I sniffled a little, wiping a tear.

"He never blatantly ignores me." I whined. "Me either. It's not like him to not come by or at least call me. I would be the first person he'd call when in trouble. But, something's changed." She sighed sadly. "He hasn't been himself for months." I kept quiet because I'm sure he didn't tell her what had happened. As far as I knew, only his dad and I knew about that.

"Whatever it is, I'm praying that God sees him through it. One thing I can assure you is that he loves you. His pride is just in the way, he'll realize soon." I needed that reassurance. "Thank you so much Mama Nita. If he does come by, can you tell him to at least let me know he's alive." I chuckled but I was serious. "I will baby. Don't let his ass stress you." We shared a laugh before saying our goodbyes. Just as I hung up, I got a notification that he had posted on Instagram.