I turned in my bed for the upteenth time tonight. I couldn't figure it out... Was it that I was too hot? Too cold? Uncomfortable? Not tired? I just couldn't go to sleep, and not just tonight. Every night for the past week I've had trouble falling asleep. I've tried everything imaginable. From sleepy time tea, to melatonin, to staying off my electronics an hour before bed. The only thing that seemed to be working was Mat. I had called him a few times to talk me to sleep and I guess the sound of his voice just did the trick, and it may or may not have calmed me just to know that he was there if I needed him.
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and debated texting him as I padded into the kitchen of my tiny New York apartment. The screen lit up at 2:23 am and I groaned as I rubbed a hand down my face. The tile was cool against my feet and I poured myself some water. I knew he was sound asleep right now after the tiring road trip the Islanders had, and he probably has practice in the morning, but right now he seems like the only plausible solution.
Maybe it was slightly selfish, to want to hear his voice in my head as I fell asleep every night, but this was the closest I would ever get to sleeping by his side. The crush I had on him felt far too obvious at times and I wondered how he didn't see it. Or maybe he did and was just choosing to ignore it. Every time I became too hopeful, I reminded myself of the best friend parameters. Just because he lulls you to sleep every night with his deep soothing voice, or is down for a marathon of The Office whenever you're sad, or hangs out in your apartment to make dinner, does not mean he's into you.
He picked up on the second ring, which in my personal opinion is a little too fast for 'asleep in bed at 2 in the morning'.
"Hey," his voice was scratchy, "Can't sleep?"
"How'd you guess?"
"I was waiting for your call earlier but I assumed since you didn't call me, that you actually fell asleep on your own this time." I felt bad for waking him up but I could already start to feel myself relax. It felt like some sort of spell that I was in whenever he was near. And I wanted more.
"I thought I could wean myself off of you but I couldn't fall asleep."
"Wean yourself off?" He laughed and I could picture the crinkles by his eyes. "What am I to you some sort of drug?
I laughed too, "My own personal brand of melatonin." He chuckled and eased into conversation, he knew exactly how to put me to sleep. "So the trip was really long without you."
My ears perked up at that and suddenly I was craving more than just his voice, "Yeah?"
"I know it was only five days but I think next time you should just come with me."
"Mat." I interrupted, but he rambled. "-I think you'll really enjoy the west coast."
"Mat!" I said a little louder, garnering his attention.
"What?" The line went silent for a second and I felt small so I mumbled it a little, "Come over." I could feel the hammering of my heart against my chest and I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for his words, even though I couldn't see his reaction over the phone.
"Wait say that again." He breathed.
"Come over."
It was awfully quiet on his end, and I almost regretted saying something, until I didn't.
"I'll be there in 10."
"How are you going to get here in-" And the line went dead.
I heard a knock at the door in precisely 10 minutes and I was impressed. Mat lived at least 20 minutes away, and New York traffic didn't hardly stop.
I swung the door open to Mat leaning against the frame, gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips with a white t-shirt that seemed to ride up his abs and I quickly adjusted my gaze up to his eyes. A lazy smile graced his face. "Are you going to invite me in or am I sleeping on the porch tonight?"
I released a chuckle and playfully swatted him as he came in, tossing his keys on the white marble of the kitchen counter while I made us some tea.
"So long road trip huh?"
I saw a slight blush creeping up his cheeks but he quickly looked elsewhere as he mumbled a soft "Yeah." And a hand came up to rub the back of his neck.
"You looked good in Vegas, that game was sick. That spin move you did was amazing."
He shook his head humbly, as if he couldn't believe that I watched and paid attention to the details. But I always pay attention to Mat. It's hard not to. "Thanks (Y/N)." But I saw his lips curve up at the corner of his mouth. I went to hand him his mug but pulled back just as he was about to take it, "Honey?"
He nodded and I fixed our drinks up. The warm mug felt good against my cold hands as we carried them into my room, the only light coming from the bedside lamp. I sat my tea down and patted the spot next to me but he seemed hesitant. "What? you think I was gonna ask you over and then make you sleep on the couch?" He laughed but got in bed beside me, both of us sitting up sipping our tea. It was a peaceful silence for a moment just the two of us, the glow of the lamp, the slight nerves I got from sitting so close to him. We finished off our drinks and pulled the covers up, warming the both of us up. "Mat?" I asked a little sheepishly, only getting a "hmm?" in response as his eyelids flutter shut. "Come snuggle me." I smiled and he opened his eyes and laughed again, and the sound was music to my ears. I turned around and lifted my head up, as he snuck an arm around me and pulled me closer by my waist with the other one. Our legs entangled as his warmth heat up my limbs and lulled me to a serene state. You would think my body would be alarmed at the fact that I was pressed snuggly up against him in a king sized bed, but I had been so sleep deprived that his mere presence was knocking me out. Which is a scary thing.
I can't need him to fall asleep every night, it's not fair to the both of us.
I felt my eyelids get heavy and sleep was about to over take me when I heard him say my name. "Yeah Mat?"
"...How come you always end up calling me when you can't fall asleep?"
My once slow and steady heartbeat became a little quicker and my breath caught in my throat. "I..uh..Your voice is the only thing that really calms me down enough to go sleep. I guess it's like I can be vulnerable with you." I held my breath waiting for the answer but he only pulled me tighter against him.
"I'm glad you asked me over." He whispered, his breath dancing across my neck.
"You are?" I was in a daze it seemed, it felt like my words came out on their own accord.
"I like you, (Y/N). I like you a lot." His words sounded nervous, but his actions screamed confident as his hand grazed up and down the exposed part of my torso, sending my head spinning.
"I like you too Mat." I said as I turned to face him.
"No, I really like you." Even now with sleep daring to grace his features he seemed so sure of himself, but I was the one who was unsure.
"I really like you too." I said, but this time he slowly brought his lips to mine, he cupped my face lightly, almost like he didn't want to break me. For such a gentle kiss I felt something fierce as his tongue lightly danced across my mouth, and I slightly whimpered into him. He broke away, leaning his forehead against mine, trying to catch his breath, "I've liked you for a while."
I smiled, asking softly, "How long is a while?"
"Since Matty Marts wedding."
"Mat that was months ago!"
"Yeah, but I knew. " He breathed out, thumb brushing my cheek, "I know I only asked you because I needed a date last minute. And it was probably weird because I hadn't seen you in a little bit because things got busy, but... I'm glad I did. I didn't realise how much I missed you until you were standing opposite of me, twirling around and reminiscing about our younger years to make up for lost time. I need you" He had a gleam in his eyes I hadn't noticed before, but he laughed as he finished "And you definitely need me. At least to go to sleep."
"That was almost sweet." I joked groggily. But planted a light kiss to his lips once again, "I'm glad I was your wedding date, because I missed you too."
"Go to sleep." He said sweetly and kissed my forehead.
"Only if you promise to sleep next to me every night." I smiled.
"I think I can manage."
And I finally had a good night's sleep, curled up with Mats arms wrapped around me.
