Right By My Side [Book 4]

Chapter 4

RECAP: Chapter 3

August Alsina POV

I drop Bianca off at her moms house. "Be careful boo. Don't needa lose you too." She tries to say laughin'.

She close the door and walks inside her moms house and I pull off thinkin' - I needa drink... I could use one.

Nicki Minaj POV

I don't 'member the last time I drank so much but prolly in my teen years then my twenty-first birthday. Other then that I ain't never tried to drink myself to death or drink away my emotions. I don't 'member ever bein' so depressed in my life to the point where livin' ain't an option. Man this is so depressin' and I need somebody here by me. Ion if I can make a night alone and I don't wanna be havin' August over all the time.

I couldn't face myself to tell investigators who killed Safaree fo' August and my sake, but mainly August's.  And, I already paid Ace off so I don't have to worry 'bout the mysterious messages anymo' I guess.

Ace was once a friend, we actually made a rap group, him, Safaree, and I, but I decided to go my own way. Ace taught me lil' but the majority I knew... But Safaree and him were like brothers. Ion what Safaree had done, but killin' him wasn't worth it - it wasn't.  Ace fled I'm sure of it, leavin' me alone in my house that the silence itself breaks me. Ion if I can continue bein' miserable, yet I kno' it takes time but it hurts.

Sittin' onna couch and eatin' strawberry shortcake ice cream wit' tissue both and my blanket ain't helpin' at all. So I called my old friend Linda so she can over and help drain my sorrows.

Linda comes from upstairs. "Nicki, you okay baby?" She asks once again.

"No boo... I just watched the death of Safaree and buried him today. I feel like straight shit." I cry.

"Awwe boo don't be. I'm here fo' you." Linda said, holdin' me in her arms as she snuggles up beside me.

"I'm just so hurt Linda. Like I told this man that I didn't care if he died and now he's gone. Like what kinda shit is that." I said, throwin' my hands inna air. Makin' a face then sniffin'.

"He kno' you ain't mean it. You kno' you ain't mean it." Linda said, tryna ease mu my guilt.

But, the fucked up part is where I admit that I meant every word - all of it - I said that I didn't care if he dropped dead and he did. Onna inside I am kinda glad that he is gone 'cause I don't have to deal wit' the lies betrayal, the pain again.

"Linda, I really meant that I hoped he dropped dead." I said.

"Nicki, you were hurt. It was all outta anger. Don't make it as all your fault." Linda said.

"Yeah, but..." She cuts me off.

"Did you set him up to get killed?" Linda asks.

"What?!?! I would never." I said inna outburst.

"Then stop actin' like you did then Nicki. Y'all was angry at each other and was sayin' stuff to hurt each other. You can't live wit' the guilt Nicki, like you gotta move on from it." Linda said.

"You right boo. You right." I said as she gimme a hug.

-

Like 'round 11:30 at night Linda is sleepin' onna couch beside me and I get up from the couch and go into the kitchen. Then I see a shadow comin' to my door and hear knockin'. Who that? Nobody suppose to be comin' over here it's just me and Linda. I walk over to the door and ask who is it before I look out the peephole. August.

Nicki Minaj POV

I slowly open up the door and Augusr just stumbles in here like he drunk; he is. I smell it hard on his breath to be sure that he is too drunk. Ion if he even kno' that he here right now but he needa leave. I ain't inna mood fo' a nigga to be 'round me and especially at my worst. Damn,  I am so fuckin' vulernable.

I close my door and lock it slowly 'cause I'm very hesitate to turn 'round and see his face. But, then I turn 'round and August comes pinnin' new against the door and start kissin' me down. I grab his face while he grabs my legs but then we stop, and I do the most unthinkable thing. I slap him.

"Damn you! Damn you August! " I shout in anger and Linda awakes.

"Nicki," she croaks.

"Are you okay?" Linda asks me.

"Yes, I'm fine Linda. He was just leavin'." I growl as I told my arms.

"Nicki, c'mon man. I love you." August said.

I look square at August and shake my head. Is he serious 'bout that? He loves me but he just proposed to Bianca. I should have never even involved myself wit' him then none of this woulda happened. Safaree wouldn't be dead (what I think), me and August would have never been together or in love. I would have never been pregnant by him and all of that drama.

August is a youngin' and he don't kno' what he want right now and prolly won't until he outta his twenties. But right now I don' had too many drinks, anythin' to keep me good.  Then he comin' over wit' that I love you don't work anymo'.

"August, leave. Leave, leave, leave! Leave!" I start screamin' when Linda comes runnin' to me.

"Nicki," he calls me as he walks over to the door.

"I fucked up. I did, but I need you. I need you and only want you." August said.

"August, you don't even kno' you here right now." I said as Linda holds me.

"He's drunk Nicki. He can't leave or he'll hurt his self or somebody else." Linda said. Damn Linda 'cause she gotta conscious. Me onna other hand ain't even think 'bout that 'cause I'm so mad.

"Linda," shakin' my head as I sob.

"He gotta stay then he out by mornin'." Linda said.

"Fine! He can sleep onna couch but then be gon'." I said as I walk away from the both of 'em and go upstairs.

"Nicki, baby, I love you even if you don't believe me baby." August said and I stand there onna step lookin' down at him. Does he really mean it or the liquor talkin'?