Be My Teacher || K.SJ

T H I R T Y F O U R

I smile at him, my eyes glassy and my nose beginning to sting. 

"We're going back." He suddenly says, the smile falling from his face. 

I knit my brows and gawp at him in shock.

"What?" 

"Monday. We're going back home for a week. Your mom's side of the family are arranging a big family get together for her 5 year anniversary." He says.

"Wh- I get to see her? On Monday?" I choke. I slap my hand over my mouth and squeeze my eyes shut, failing to hold back my tears.

I let them fall, and my chest tightens. I fold over into my knees and let out strained cries, and my dad places a comforting hand on my back, rubbing it up and down.

"I know, sweetheart." He whispers, his own voice cracking.

I sob into my hands, covering my face with my forehead against my knees. It's the kind of cry where nothing comes out, only silence and sniffs as my nose runs, and heavy breaths.

I've missed her so much. She was a coping mechanism for me back home. A comfort. I was completely aware she was gone and buried in the ground, but I could still feel close to her as I visited her grave every Saturday. 

Not being able to do that for the last couple months has been hell. It's been so hard, but Jin has been a really good distraction. I've tried to push the ache in my heart to one side, but all of those emotions are pouring out right now. 

"It's alright." My dad whispers, pulling me into him. He rests my head against his chest, and I hug him, burying my face in his shirt. 

I eventually calm down, and I wipe my eyes, letting out a breath. I sit up and run a hand through my hair, sniffing.

"We go Monday?" I ask, turning to face him. I can see the stains of his own tears fallen down his cheek, and he nods his head, smiling weakly.

"And it's all of Mom's side of the family?" 

"Yeah. I was kind of surprised, really." He says, inhaling a deep breath.

My mom was white, and my dad is black. The majority of my mom's side of the family weren't exactly pleased with my mom's choice to marry and have a child with someone of a different race, and I was never close with that side of the family because of it.

My parents decided to ostracise themselves and move away, getting on with their lives and to keep being happy. That resulted in severed ties with them, and I grew up only knowing my parents, and my fathers side of the family.

I haven't seen any of my mom's family since her death, at her funeral. So I can imagine how awkward it'll be. But I don't care about that. I don't care about them. I just want to be able to see her.

"I'll go pack." I say, letting out a sigh. My dad nods his head and I stand up, rubbing my nose and making my way upstairs and into my bedroom.

I pack a few clothes I know I won't be wearing until I leave, a few tears continuing to fall down my cheeks. But I'm smiling. I'm happy and overjoyed that I can sit by her and talk to her again. I can tell her all about what's been happening, the thoughts in my head I've had to keep to myself.

I'm halfway through packing, when I hear my phone buzz on my nightstand. I turn around and grab it, unlocking the screen and reading it.

Unknown: Come to mine. Now.

I glare at the screen, dumbfounded and slightly anxious.

Willow: Who is this??

I stare at it, waiting for a reply.

Unknown: Jin. I got a second phone.

I let out a breath of relief and drop my shoulders, relaxing.

Willow: Jesus, you scared me. 

Daddy: Come to mine, I have something for you.

I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow. 

Willow: What is it?

I watch the three dots in the bottom corner of the screen, and a picture message comes through. I almost drop my phone and choke.

He sent me a picture of his lower body in grey sweats, his legs splayed out on the bed and his hand gripping his hard length through the fabric, the veins swollen and running up his hand and arm. 

I can see a small wet patch where the tip sits, and my knees go weak. I swallow hard, my lower stomach pulling at the sight.

Daddy: Hurry up

I sigh frustratingly, looking back at my suitcase, knowing I should be packing.

Willow: I can't...

My stomach flips and my heart beats loudly in my ears, nervous for his reply.

Daddy: You can't?? Was I asking permission?

I drop my head and whine, wanting to go over and see him. He'll make me feel better, I know. But I really can't.

Willow: Daddy, I'm sorry. I'll explain later.

Daddy: I'm leaving now to pick you up. 

Fuck.

Willow: Wait...

Daddy: If you're not at the convenience store in ten minutes, I'll make sure you'll be begging for me to stop and screaming my name.   

I shiver and heat pools in my stomach. I let out a shaky breath and bite my lip.

Willow: Yes, daddy.

I lock my phone and quickly run downstairs, putting my shoes on and grabbing my bag.

"I'm gonna go meet Josie. I'll be back later, dad!" I yell, slamming the door shut behind me, and speed walking down the street towards the convenience store.