{Chapter 46}

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On the next day, I go to Michael's house at 10:00 as my promise. As soon as he sees me, he kisses me on my forehead and whispers,

"I miss you..."

"I miss you, too."

I smile slightly at him.

"Can we go to the library?"

"What? I thought you came to dance with me."

"Well, anywhere private."

"The studio."

He grabs my hand and we go into the studio.

"You're locking the door again?"

*i lock the door*

"Michael, don't you remember we were almost caught kissing by your maid?"

"Ahh, I forgot."

He plays Who is it on the record player.

"Ugh, Michael, we need to have a serious talk."

He gazes at me for a moment and stops the music.

"What's up?"

We both sit down in the floor and I lean on the mirror on the wall.

"Michael..."

"Hmm?"

"I know there's something wrong with you."

He rolls his eyes.

"There you go... You just rolled your eyes."

"Baby..."

He holds my hands and clenches his teeth.

"I can't tell you."

"Then, why do you tell Lisa?"

He looks so surprised like 'how do you know about this!?'

"How-"

"Don't ask me how I know about this."

"Babe."

"I'll tell you. I let you have the time on your own because you're busy with the rehearsals and new short film. I understand that. And we don't normally talk on the phone as before. Do you even notice that we lost contact for two weeks straight?"

"That long..?"

"Yes. That long. Plus, every time you call me, you always ask about me and you never tell me about you at all. Think about it. The last time we had a good and long conversation was at the beginning of this month. It's the 19th of July today."

"We're both busy."

"I know. But you can at least tell me how you're feeling even though you can't tell me what exactly is happening with you."

"It's very complicated, babe. I wish I could tell you more-"

"And the person you chose to talk all about it was Lisa? And maybe Ms.Taylor, I guess?"

"I-"

"Are you gonna say that you don't wanna tell me because you don't want me to feel what you're feeling right now? I'm sure it's a bad one, Michael, am I right?"

"Right."

"There you go!? You can tell me that you're feeling bad..!"

"You were right. I didn't want to make you feel bad-"

"Because I'm your girlfriend?"

He's about to say something but he stops.

"Will you tell me if I'm your best friend like four months before?"

"It's not like that. I'm just not ready to tell you, baby... Please..!"

He suddenly hugs me and rests his head on my shoulder.

"Michael, this isn't the first time I'm feeling like this. I swear this's the third time."

"What?"

"I had to calm myself down and forgave you twice before. Now, I'm reconsidering if I should do it for the third time."

"What do you mean?"

He holds my shoulders and looks straight at my eyes.

"You tell me, Michael. I'm lost..."

"I don't understand you at all."

"Me neither."

Michael stares at my eyes for some seconds and...goes in for a surprise kiss. But I stop him this time.

"Not a good time."

"Why?"

He starts to lean in more. Suddenly, he grips my hands so that I can't move away from him. As he's getting closer to me like an inch away from my face,

"Michael, I think we need a break."

Michael's eyes widen. He loses balance and falls back onto the floor.

"What..?"

"You heard it."

"No, I won't let it happen."

"Michael, it's just a break...to reconsider everything."

"Baby, no. Please don't. I need you."

"Just now?"

"Come on..."

He holds my arms and ugh, he's looking at me with his sad and frustrated face.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's a break from our relationship. Not our friendship."

"No..!"

He starts crying. Holy shit, that's what I didn't expect.

"Michael, don't..."

I rub his eyes with my thumbs.

"I'm not leaving you. Just a day or two."

"I admit I'm at the terrible state of mind. And I need you by my side."

"I AM by your side."

"So, don't do this break thing, okay?"

"You made me do this..."

He closes his eyes and bends down his body to rest his head on my hands.

"I'm going now."

"No..!"

I stand up and walk fast to the door.

"Baby!"

"I'm sorry..!"

I run out of the studio, go outside of the house quickly and get in my car. Then, I drive to the other street and park on one side.

*scream*

I start to bump the steering so hard with my fists that they eventually become red. I just made him cry. I made him sad. Did I do the wrong decision? What have I done? Holding the steering and my head lowered, I begin crying very loudly.

*phone rings*

I remove the sim-card, hold it in my palms and throw the phone onto the seat again. I really need to stay away from him at this moment.

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