Avoiding The Player

Thirteen

I'm starting to focus on his flaws.

Pero di ko maiwasang di kami magkasama, he's always around me, annoying me... I just can't simply say, 'Please Frank, stop. Di mo ba nararamdaman? Nafo-fall nako, lumayo ka na. Please!'

Magkakasama kami ng mga naging college friends namin sa room since free cut dahil di pumasok yung prof.

Nakapaikot lang kami at nagkukwentuhan about random things, magkatabi kami ni Frank and he's draping his arms over my shoulders.

Ugh! I can't just be pissed here in my sit with everyone's watching us, I can't shout at him kasi for every one this act, is just normal.

Lahat ng kasweetan na ginagawa niya sa akin is just normal.

"Kate! Tara punta tayong canteen. Nagugutom ako."

"Frank, can't you just do it alone?"

"Kate, gusto kitang kasama pwede ba?" using the same annoyed voice I used.

"Dali na kasi Kate! Samahan mo na ang boy space friend mo!" at talagang pinagtulungan pa nila ako

"Tinatamad ako e."

"Please Kate? Pleaseeeeeee? Lilibre kita. Anything you want!"

Di mo naman ako nakukuha sa pag libre mo sa kin. Ginagamit ko lang yun na rason para makasama ka ng di masyadong halatang I'm giving my self to you. Well that was before.

Everything will change. I hope...

Pero wala nanaman akong nagawa kasi hinila nanaman niya ako papalapit sakanya ngayong kusa na akong lumalayo...

We're now walking papunta sa canteen, dumadaan na kami sa garden para makarating sa canteen.

Hinawakan niya yung kamay ko, intertwined our fingers then... "Tara na Kate! Miss na kita e!"

"Magkasama naman tayo, paano mo ko mamimiss?"

"'Yun nga e. Kasama nga kita physically, pero feeling ko ang layo layo mo. May problema ka ba?"

"Wala naman..."

"Hay... Bago ko pa tinanong sa'yo alam ko na ang sagot. So ano? Anong bumabagabag sa utak ng pinakamamahal kong girl space friend?"

Alam mo na pala ang sagot. Sana pati yung dahilan alam mo rin. Para di na 'ko nahihirapan...

"Uy Kate! Ano na? Alam mo, kaya kita hinigit dito para magkausap tayo. Dali na!" at saka niya ako inakbayan at inalapit pa sakanya.

Maya-maya, yinakap na niya ako ng tuluyan.

"I know you're not feeling well Kate. Pero tandaan mo, nandito lang ako. I'll be here for you. I promise."

Nandyan ka pa kaya kapag nalaman mong nahuhulog na ako sa'yo?

Pwede bang ako nalang? Ako nalang...

Ugh! Why am I being selfish? I don't own you. Sino ba ako? I'm just your girl space friend and you're just my boy space friend, as they all know. So who am I para makisawsaw sa feelings mo?! I'm just your fucking friend for Pete's sake! Damn! That hurts!

Then he hugged me even tighter and a moment later, he gave me a final squeeze then kissed my forehead.

After that, he cupped me face then wipe something from my face, "Stop crying. Ayokong nakikita kang umiiyak." Sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko, di ko namalayang umiiyak na pala ako.

This moment, this memory, his actions, the way he gently held me, all of these is perfect... IF ONLY we're in an intimate relationship.

Pero we're just friends which made everything so damn twisted.

Damn these sweet acts of him!

How can you love something that's hurting you?

How can this feeling be so wonderful yet so painful?!

DAMMIT! WHY DOES THINGS HAVE TO BE THIS COMPLICATED?!

I wish things get back the way they used to be, yung mga panahong kaibigan lang talaga ang tingin ko sakanya, sa mga panahong okay lang ang lahat, yung panahong di pa tumutibok 'tong lecheng puso na to para sakanya.

Note to self: Never fall for their "pa-fall" acts. Bahala ka baka sa bangin ang ending mo. NOTED!