Ecdysiast || PJM 🔞

Chapter 43: Advice from the Past

As the girl came out, I locked the door behind me and held both of her hands. Her eyes looked so sad even if I disregard the tears that were streaming down them and I know for sure that I did mess up. "Jiwon, I can explain."

She suddenly laughed, a very fake and bitter one. "No, Jimin, you don't have to."

"Jiwonㅡ"

"It's my fault, okay? I said no so I guess you're moving on, huh?" Her voice was quivering and it shattered my heart to see her breaking in front of me. She was breaking because of me. It wasn't my intention because the alcohol in my system took over me.

I only stared at her, searching for the right words to utter. "I'm happy you're moving on. I guess you really thought I want us over. I told you I can't marry you yet. Not yet. 'Yet' Jimin. I used that word when I explained my reason before I left because I need time to heal myself." She gasped for air. "I just can't marry you yet but I didn't mean that I want us to break up. I just wanted to lessen my time of being with you to find myself."

"Jiwon, I'm sorry, Iㅡ" she cuts me. Smiling, she cupped my cheek. "It's okay, Jimin. I'm happy you're recovering."

"No, Jiwon. I love you," I said softly, holding onto her hands as if my life depended on her. I just can't afford to lose her in my arms ever again.

She cried harder. "No," she shook her head. "You're just used of loving me. Look, Jimin, you finally made out with someone else which you haven't done while being with me until I decided to reject being engaged with you." She gave me a tight hug. With the alcohol in my system, I'm not able to think properly on how to stop her. I couldn't speak, but my mind was definitey shouting for her to stay with me.

"I understand, Jimin, and for you, I'll do the closure that you need and want. It's over between the two of us."

"Jiwonㅡ" she cuts my sentence.

"I'm setting you free and I hope you find someone better than I am." And with that, she left the restroom.

I'm crying, shaking my head from the disappointment that I've done with myself.

But it's not too late. I want her back. I need her back. And what I mean by back is helping her back to the way she used to be before her life started becoming in chaos again.

I'll mend you again, Wonwon. I'll help you mend yourself like how I fixed your broken trust to people and with love

I ran outside to search for her and despite of the numerous people blocking my way and sight, I managed to see her come outside of the club.

As I ran, the girl from earlier blocked my way with an annoyed face. "Bastard, you were calling my name and you suddenly kissed me then all of a sudden, you'reㅡ" I cut her off.

"You aren't the person I thought you were. I was drunk and since you responded to me calling my girlfriend's name, I thought you were her. Plus, you're not my type," I said.

I continued running outside, hoping to see her around but she's not found near around anymore. I immediately left with my car and tried to find her everywhere as I also think of places where I could possibly see her.

She's that type of person to go on a peaceful and quiet place. And with her condition, she might probably be in a dark place where people don't often pass by. My brain ached as I tried to think and my frustration and guilt wasn't helping me in this situation.

Round and round, I drove my car in the fastest way as possible as my eyes also searched for her. She's not okay. And I need to find her in time before she does something to herself.