Jungkook oneshots||COMPLETED||√

Exhaustion(7th oneshot)

Seeing all this stuff about people sexualizing Jungkook almost passing out really sickens me and I just had to write about it. So if you read this and get some kind of sadistic pleasure shame on you. This is a very serious topic. And should be handle seriously.

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~Jungkook~

Each breath was getting harder, tougher, shorter than the last but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. Not when so many people were shouting my name expecting something spectacular. Not when so many people were waiting for me to give them what I promised when I signed up for this job. And I love this job....but when did it become so hard?

I could taste the coppery blood in my mouth long before I even reached the practice room or the stage. My head was spinning and things came in and out of focus. I keep telling myself to try and breathe but my lungs can't seem to cooperate like I need them too.

I should be better than this. I should try harder. I should be used to this. I shouldn't be standing here about to fall over when there are thousands of people chanting my name and waiting for me. Waiting for something amazing. Waiting for something breathtaking. What would it make me if I let them down?

I signed up for this I tell myself over and over again. I made this decision. If I want to be successful I must deal with the dizziness and the hunger. I must deal with the long nights and endless days. I must deal with the sleepless nights. This is my job. I have people expecting great things from me and yet somehow I still don't feel like I'm enough. I should work harder.

They tell me that I'm doing fine. They tell me to take care of myself, but they don't get it. They don't understand what it's like to have the weight of an army on your shoulders. They don't see how many eyes are on you waiting for that moment when you take their breath away while simultaneously trying to not lose your own.

I want to be my best for them. They do so much for us: love us, support us, cheer us on. I have to return the favor. I have to be perfect. I have to be golden. I'm supposed to be good at everything yet somehow I can't even manage to get enough air between my lungs to put one foot in front of the other.

I'm asked if I'm okay and I just say yes. I just need a moment. Only a moment. I can't waste anymore time than I already have. I must keep working. I have to live up to the expectations that have been set before me even if I'm the one who put those expectations in front of me in the first place.

They liked that move, I must make it better. They loved that look I should do that more often. I'm constantly scouting pages after pages to figure out what they love and what they don't. I have to be what they love. I have to work to be what they want. I can't disappoint them not when they've done so much for me. Not when they've gotten me where I am.

I'd be nothing without them. I'd be nothing without this. This is who I am. This man on stage performing and giving his all. Practicing non stop. Working nonstop. I must continue. I cannot falter. I must keep going. This is what they like. This is what they want. I must be what they want.

"Jungkook..."

My name. I turn around but the entire room spins. It's time to go. It's time to go out there and show them what they've been waiting for, but I can't even bring myself to put one foot in front of the other. Suddenly, I'm going down and things are getting dark. This can't happen. I must go on. I must push on.

I can't keep pushing...I can't even breathe....I'm just so...

Exhausted.