Let The Past Be The Past

The Pain

The family I had always wanted was standing in my yard.

WAIT what who the hell is that?

I pulled into the driveway they were just looking at me. I get out of my car to grab my thing and head to the front door.

Savannah?

I looked over my shoulder but kept walking to the door. when I got inside I locked the door and slid down the door and let the tries fall down my face yet again. I looked around my house to see that they have completely taken over my house. The range sets in and the treas stop falling. I start grabbing things and throwing them out the door.

WHOOOHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HEY HEY STOP THAT OUR STUFF!

I stopped and looked at them.

YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? LIKE YOUR ACTUALLY FUCKING KIDDING ME! THIS IS MY FUCKING HOUSE!

Savannah Hunny we just want to surprise you!

While still having their things in my hands I walked over to her my mother got about an inch away from her face looked her deep into her eyes.

I DONT FUCKING NEED YOU OR MY SPERM DONER GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW! YOU HONESTLY THINK AFTER ALMOST 10 YEARS I WOULD WANT TO SEE YOU. YOU FUCKING LEFT ME AT 16YEARS OLD.

I throw the stuff at her and turned around. walked into my house and slammed the door.

Why were they here? no, actually I don't care why they are here. They need to go like now!

Aira pick up the phone come on!

hello,

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT KID?

You didn't talk to them?

well not really kinda off just lost it.

oh no...

What don't you dare fucking tell me what I think your about to say!

I am so sorry Savannah.

Are you around?

I am at work so come over.

I walked out the front door to see them cleaning up their things. I laughed I locked my door and walked away.

You can do this for us? You are the one who left!

I stop dead in my tracks and spun around I see the girl looking at me. I started walking over to her.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

well you are the

YOU BETTER FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW. DONT YOU DARE TALK TO ME. IT NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU were WORTH KEEPING.

I turned around and walked to my car I pulled out of my driveway and head to my old job. Aria was the bartender.

I just wanted to see Sawyer I wanted to feel his touch with his arms wrapped around me.

once I found a seat at the bar aria stopped what she was doing and ran over to give me a hug.

OH MY GOD, I FUCKING MISSED YOU PLEASE DONT EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!!!!!

AWWHHHHA ARIA I CANT BREATH

Ohh haha oops sorry.

I've missed you too!!

Aria brings me to glasses of my favorite and then a few shots.

I slammed down the shots. WHOOO  Aria started laughing at me.

GET IT GIRL WHOO!!

Before I knew I had way too much to drink. I thought my eyes were playing a trick on me but nope. There was that ass hole standing on the other side of the bar. Before I could get out of there someone had spotted me pointing me out to him. When he turned to look my way I was sitting there with my middle finger up in their air. He turned around trying to make his way over to me. I got out of there I was not going to deal with that I couldn't deal with Jackson today.

************************************************************************************************SAWYER*

I knew I just lost everything When I got home Savannah was gone.

DANM IT!

I had no way of calling her or getting in touch with her I didn't even know where she was going.

I grabbed some of my things and left. I looked back in my rearview mirror wondering if I was making the right choice. Then I thought about my mom and this is what she wanted me to do. she wants me to be happy and she wants me to get away from all this and finely have a life. I really didn't know where to go I've never been out of Montana. Savannah did talk about the place she worked at back home. maybe she went home should I just show up there?

No that would be creepy.

I drove for hours before I started getting tried. By the time I pulled over to get some sleep I was already in Illinois. I stopped at Hilton inn it was really nice and overprice, I sure am far from home.  when I got into my room I took a shower and sat down on the bed trying my hardest to remember the place that Savannah Said she worked at. She said it was a really fancy place in a smaller town called Cortland maybe.

I feel like she may not be so happy if I show up.
If she wanted to see me she would have said goodbye right? It's a risk I am willing to take. Maybe I should sleep on this.

Today has been one hell of a roller coaster. I just kept reading my mom's letter over and over aging. I walked over to my bag and grabbed the box she had left behind for me. I just held it staring at it wondering if I should open it. I think I'll wait and just go to bed. I set the box on the stand next to me and laid down. I tried to fall asleep but the voice in my head kept playing over and over again.

Your not even part of this family

Your father cheated

Your life has been a lie

You have been a Secret for 26years

With over toss and turn, I just wished my mind would shut off.