I'm the unknown family member of Brendon Urie. I live with him and his wife, and typically, I like to stay hidden behind the scenes and help him film random bits and help him get ready for tours and help him write his music. I let him take all the c...
I can't believe this. I have not seen my wife or my kids for I want to say three months now and it's been killing me since that day we left the house to come out on tour. It's killing me more because they are with us on this tour and each time I try to talk to her, Brendon has her and the kids off somewhere traveling the city we're in with Jake.
I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally drained and exhausted from everything. Sure I'm able to rest in a bed by myself again, but I gave that up to be with her. I'm able to focus on myself but I gave that up to have my kids. Nothing is here to drive me to sadness but the loneliness of being here on the bus by myself.
My head isn't where it needs to be and that fucking whore who I was cheating with on (Y/N) is still trying to text and call me. I'm so done. I blocked all the numbers she's been calling from and texting me from. I want my wife back in my arms where she belongs. I know she deserves better than me, trust me, I do, but I do want her back in my arms, for good.
The only way for me to see her and the kids is for me to go to their bus right after the show and wait for Brendon and her with the kids to get out of the venue. Sarah normally stays in the bus for most of the shows for the sake of their kids, but I think she went in tonight, which will make this harder to accomplish. I haven't been leaving the bus because I don't have the will to perform at all anymore, so I'm guessing I'm just here for the ride and once tour ends and we get home for Cayden's transplant, I won't be going out again, and she'll be in my place permanently. I have to talk to (Y/N) but I am terrified that she will just push me off and ignore me when I even try to. I even broke things off with Jaylah when she ran off the bus and into the house before we left for tour.
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I just wish she would let me make this up to her and show her these texts and let me back in her life with my kids, but I know she won't even attempt. I broke down her walls of emotions she built up so she wouldn't have to face who she was even, and she's building them back up and I know she won't be the same person. She always said that if you hurt her, she will eliminate you from her life because she doesn't need the toxicity in her life when she fought so much on her own.
