Section F: Fairy Tales & Physicists

Chapter 33

It took a few seconds for Fields' fatigued brain to fully process the magnitude and implications of Featherstone's demand.

And a few more of stunned, mindless shock before he realised that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't quite as bad as first impressions might suggest. Basically, Featherstone was still offering to do exactly what Fields wanted—shut the portal down and get them the hell out of there. All Fields had to do was keep his cool, and make sure it happened—along with managing the slightly tricky logistical challenge of somehow resurrecting and producing a certain somewhat-crispy evil scientist. And if nothing else, the whole 'clean slate' thing had a certain appeal.

"So, let me get this straight. Once you enter that code, the portal will be gone?"

"Yes," confirmed Featherstone.

"And if you give it long enough, the giant will be gone, too?"

"Yes."

"The snake-person will be gone?"

Featherstone blinked. "Um. Well, assuming there is one out there, then yes."

"The pancaked ape-man will be gone?"

"The pancaked ape-man? Yes, I suppose so."

"The bear with the bite on his bum will be gone?"

"What on Earth...? Er, yes—that will be gone, too."

"The siren will be gone?"

"I should think...wait—there's a siren out there?" Surreptitiously, the scientist turned just a little, so as to be able to glance out at the hangar floor, while still keeping an eye on Fields.

"Focus, Frank. Besides, you don't wanna go there—she's no princess, trust me. My point is, all those freakazoids will be gone?"

"Yes, Agent Fields, yes. I don't know how much plainer I can be. It will all be gone—including us, if we don't get a move on. So, let's go." He waggled his gun, in what Fields assumed was intended to be a threatening manner. "Otherwise, I'll be forced to blow you."

This time, it was Fields who blinked. "Uh...you'll be forced to do what?"

Getting into the swing of his tough-guy persona, Featherstone added a constipated scowl to the gun-waggle. "To blow you." Narrowing his eyes, he leaned in a little closer. "Don't make me blow you."

Fields swallowed. "Uh...away?"

"What?"

"You'll be forced to blow me away?"

"Huh?" A hint of confusion crept into Featherstone's scowl. "Away where?"

"Frank, the expression is, 'blow you away'."

"Is it? Well, what did I say, then?"

"You said...look, never mind what you said. Just never ever say it to me again, okay? Please?"

The scientist gave him an appraising look. "You know, Agent Fields—you're a strange man."

Despite the situation, Fields couldn't resist a wry grin. "Well, I'm not so sure about that, Frank. But I think I might be getting there."

They both pondered this for a moment, before Featherstone shook his head, as if to clear it. "At any rate, that's enough of this nonsense. Time to go—I want to see Dr Radovic."

Yeah, I really don't think you do, Frankie. I doubt he's currently looking his best. Not that you need to know that. At least, not until we're all safely out of here, and that bloody portal is history, along with all the interdimensional trash. I've just gotta stay frosty and keep you on track. And then deal with the dead doc dilemma. But hey, one drama at a time. "Sure, sure—I'll take you right to him. First I just need to warn Peregrine and the others, so they can clear the area."