Section F: Fairy Tales & Physicists

Interlude

In a higher dimension somewhere, a disembodied consciousness, a space blob and an interstellar squid-monster walked into a bar. Well...floated, slid and slurped into a bar.

"So," said the blob, pulling up a stool, "what have you guys been up to?"

"Me?" replied the consciousness. "Oh, you know. This and that. Exploring the ineffable. Contemplating on the meaning of existence. Pondering on where all the scissors go. That kind of stuff."

"Right. Interesting. " Extruding three digits from its body, the blob signalled to the bar-entity for a round of drinks, before turning to its other companion. "How about you, Squidster?"

"What have I been up to? Huh. I'll tell you what I've been up to. Slaving my squid-arse to the bone, that's what. My boss is a real piece-of-work, and the old lady is on my case the instant I get home. It's all, 'aerate the eggs' and 'fetch me some star-kelp' and 'does my carapace look big in this?' I mean, she's a bloody giant squid-monster. Her carapace looks big in everything. I dunno why I bother, sometimes. And when I manage to sneak away for a bit interdimensional fishing even that goes wrong, lately."

The blob pushed one of the freshly delivered drinks the squid's way, while making suitably sympathetic noises. "How's that?"

The monster took a healthy swig. "Well, take today, for example. Nothing biting, looking like a complete bust, and then this class seven breach opens up, right in front of me. A real beauty. At least, I think it was a class seven. Never seen a green one before. Anyway, there's usually some good catching in a seven, so I plunge right in."

The consciousness' drink levitated in front of its amorphous form, became pixelated around the edges, and then vanished in a flash of dark energy. "Sounds promising. How'd you do?"

"Promising?" The squid drained his glass and gestured for a refill. "It was better than bloody promising. The very first cast, I nab this tasty little lower-dimensions biped. A real wriggler, it was. Woohoo, I thought. I'm in for a fight reeling this sucker in. This'll be fun. Just what I need after the day I've had."

"And?" prompted the blob.

"And it shot me."

"It what you?" demanded the consciousness.

"Shot me. Half-a-dozen bloody times."

"It never did!" exclaimed the blob.

"Too bloody right, it did. Just look at this." The squid held up a tentacle adorned with several inexpertly applied sticking plasters. "It and its offsider, they both shot me with these explody bang-stick things they were waving about. Never seen anything so primitive in my life, but I'll tell you what, they hurt like a son-of-a-bitch."

"Phew," marvelled the consciousness. "That's some story. So, was it worth it? How'd it taste?"

"Oh, that's the topper. Little bugger got clean away, didn't it?" Expression sulky, the squid crossed six of its tentacles and sank down lower on its stool. "Some eons, it's just not worth getting out of bed."