Losing Control - Sanders Sides

Part 18 - Roman

I lifted my head and began breathing heavily as I looked around the room. My room.

Wait, my room? When did I get here? My body was still cold and frail with anxious thoughts of Virgil. Deceit was right, what would he think of me if I couldn't save him? I would be a failure. Not only to myself, but to my friends, and Virgil. The one side that I felt the deepest connection with.

I met Virgil before Logan or Patton did. I actually met Virgil through Remus! He first introduced me to him when Virgil first formed in the dark mind palace. Back then, Remus and I used to sneak away from our respected areas and meet in the imagination to hang out or catch up. 

The day I met Virgil was no different. I walked to our normal meeting area where we had created a small hill with a bench and a Dragon Witch cave nearby in case we got bored. From the distance, I could see Remus walking closer with someone at his side. I ran up to greet Remus and the new person. "Brother, a new side formed in our side of the mind palace today. I thought you should meet him." Remus said.

I still remember meeting him. His bangs in front of his left eye, his old clothing, his dark brown eyes, and pale skin. He hasn't changed much.

I remember extending my hand out to Virgil, watching him look at my hand like it was a weapon. "Hi." I said, "My name is Creativity, but you may call me, Roman." Virgil's eyes looked into mine and then back down at the floor. He was very nervous. With my hand still extended, I continued the one-sided conversation, "What's your name?"

"A-Anxiety" he muffled into his jacket sleeve just loud enough for me to hear. I put my hand down, seeing as I was never going to get a handshake in return.

"He's still a little confused as to what is going on," Remus explained. And with that, Remus turned on his heel and guided Virgil deeper into the darkness that was the dark mind palace. I watched until they were no longer visible, once they were gone, I returned to the main mind palace. Back then, Thomas was 15.

Nearly 2 years later, I saw Anxiety for the second time. I was walking down the hallway towards my room when I saw the back door open. The back door was our connection to the imagination and since the imagination was the only thing between the dark mind palace and the light side palace, someone could be breaking in.

I watched as he emerged through the door, quietly shutting it behind him. When he turned around and saw me, he jumped and started shaking. "I-I'm sorry. I-I g-g-got turned a-around in the i-imagination. I-I thought this w-was-"

"Relax. It's okay." I said, cutting him off. He looked at me as if I was crazy, eyeing me up and down, looking for any sign that I was lying. His shaking had calmed down and I smiled at him. His brown eyes were so pretty and his lips looked soft. "While you're here, would you like a tour of the mind palace?" 

He shrugged and I took his hand and pulled him around, showing him every corner. I didn't want him to leave, we were having so much fun. Cracking jokes and laughing. He looked like this was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

Our final leg of the tour was the main room, where we could see, hear, and watch Thomas' life as it unfolds. The console below the screens, where we could control Thomas was glowing, but Anxiety wasn't watching the console.

"Who is that?" Anxiety asked quietly, pointing to one of the screens where we could see through Thomas' sees.

"Oh, that's one of Thomas' friends," I replied.

"Thomas?"

"Yeah, the person we live for. Did Remus or Deceit never explain why you were created?" He shook his head. I sighed. I heard footsteps come down the stairs. Anxiety and I both looked to see who it was. Both Logan and Patton stopped when they saw Anxiety who was trying to hide behind me.

"Roman, who is that!?" Logan said, his tone sounding angry.

"Logan, Patton, this is Anxiety," I explained.

"When did he form?" Patton asked as he came closer which caused Anxiety to step back.

"He formed about two years ago. Remus introduced me to him. I think if you guys got to know hi-"

"So he's one of them?" Logan questioned walking over to him. Anxiety froze and let Logan get a good, long look at him. Logan was quiet for a second before he turned back to me. "He must go back to HIS side of the mind at once. He does not belong here and could damage Thomas' mind." Logan spat his words at Anxiety who looked about ready to cry. I huffed and stood between Logan and Anxiety.

"He can go back when he is ready. He hasn't done anything to anyone. He's harmless."

"No, he's not Roman! He's a dark side! All of the dark sides are the same! Destroy and corrupt Thomas! He's slipped past you and, in my opinion, he's way too close to the console!" Logan yelled, he pushed me aside, into the wall, and slowly walked closer and closer to Anxiety who was backing up, hitting the console with his back. "You listen here, heathen! Do not come back here! Do not tell your friends you were here! And do NOT ever speak to my friends again!" Anxiety nodded with tears streaming down his face and his breathing was rapid.

"Stop" I yelled. "You're scaring him!" Logan didn't seem to hear me or care for my concerns.

"See you later, Thomas!" said a voice through the screen. We all turned our attention towards the screens as we watched through Thomas' eyes. Thomas had come to a crosswalk and he started walking across it. There was a horn that was blaring from an oncoming car. When Thomas turned his head, we all saw, it was no car. It was the bus.

Thomas froze as he watched death slowly ram towards him. Anxiety quickly examined the console and started pushing buttons, watching the screen to make sure he was doing what he thought he was doing. "What the hell are you doing, freak!" Logan hollered as Anxiety kept working. Patton came over to Logan and pulled him away from Anxiety.

Anxiety stopped and pushed one final button and we watched as Thomas ran across the crosswalk just missing getting hit by the bus. I smiled in disbelief as Anxiety panted. 

I ran and scooped him up in a hug. "That was amazing!" I said. Patton clapped and Logan looked taken back. I put him down and Logan walked over to Anxiety, straightening his tie and clearing his throat.

"I'm afraid I owe you an apology. You saved Thomas. It is clear that I was wrong about you." Anxiety smiled and then looked over to me.

"I should, uh, probably g-get back to my side." I nodded and gave him one last hug.

"Stop by anytime!" Patton said as we watched him go up the stairs. I sighed, I couldn't get my mind off the strange dark side now.

A couple of weeks after the accident, Remus and I met in the imagination and he was furious. I was slightly nervous now. "You let him hang around you 'light sides'!? You even let him SAVE Thomas!?"

"Of course, it was amazing!" I argued.

"Roman, we both know that your side of the mind palace is not his domain! He belongs to us!"

"How can you be so sure?!" I yelled back. "I think he belongs with us, he means well!"

Remus shook his head, "You're a fool, brother. He will never be like you." And with that, Remus walked away and we never met in the imagination again. Maybe 4 years later, Anxiety officially joined the light sides and the rest is history.

I sighed as I came out of memory lane, looking around my room with hot tears coming down my face. This was doing Virgil no good. I had to help him. Deceit is wrong. I love Virgil and I don't care if he doesn't feel the same, he's one of us. I stood up from the floor and went to open my door. I jiggled the handle until I realized, it was locked from the outside.