𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐞 → 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬 (𝐢𝐢)

twenty-four [s]

friday,
may 31st, 2020

SHAWN MENDES

"I'm pregnant."

My mouth falls agape. I swear my heart stops just for a second. I feel lightheaded. I feel like throwing up. Anxious thoughts swirl in my mind, making me feel like I'm about to collapse.

"Y-you're what?" I hiss, wary of Trinity walking in on me having this conversation. Fuck, I can't believe that I am having this conversation.

Jade sniffles, "I'm pregnant! I'm almost two months along... I... I didn't start feeling any sickness or symptoms until two weeks ago. I thought I was sick, I didn't go to my doctor until this morning."

"Two months?" I repeat, feeling nauseous. "We had sex... when? End of March? We used a condom!"

She sighs and I suddenly feel sorry for her. I can just imagine how distressed she is. My feelings probably can't even compare.

"Condoms aren't always 100% effective, Shawn," she croaks.

Just then, Trinity wanders back into the main room, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows. I realise how weird I look. My eyes are wide and my heart is on my quick-beating chest, and no doubt I look like I've seen a ghost.

"I- uh... hold on a second," I mutter to Jade, putting my end of the call on mute. I look at Trin, "I'm gonna... take this outside. I won't be long."

Trinity frowns, "Is everything okay?"

"Umm..." my eyes bounce around the room as I feel my hands starting to shake, "Yeah. It's fine... I uh, I'm fine. I'll be back soon."

Trinity looks unconvinced as I leave her apartment, bringing the phone back to my ear after unmuting my end. I jog down the stairs as I talk to Jade.

"Are you absolutely sure you're pregnant?" I ask, running a hand through my hair as I emerge from the building. I descend the outdoor steps as Jade takes a deep breath on the other line.

"I am. I really am and... and I'm scared, but I have something to tell you," she timidly says.

I puff out a breath of air, "What is it?"

"When we broke up... early April, I think," she starts, "I went out to a club that night. I had sex with somebody back at his place. Fuck Shawn... I don't even know who he is! And now I have to find him and tell him that I might be having his baby! How could I have been so stupid?"

"Hey, hey," I hush, "stop that. You're not stupid. Did you two use a condom too?"

"Fuck," she exhales, "I don't know! I can't remember. I think we did... oh god, I'm panicking."

"Shh, Jade, stop," I try to soothe her, "Everything will be okay. You need to try and breathe and calm yourself down. There's a baby growing inside you and as scary as it seems, that little girl or boy is gonna be your whole life. If it's my child, I'll be there. You can count on me, okay? I promise you I'll be there for them. And you. I'd never leave you on your own in this situation. You hear me?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling a migraine coming on. Of course I wouldn't leave Jade to fend for herself if it is my baby, but what will Trinity think? What will my family think? Oh fuck. Now I'm panicking.

"What if it isn't yours?" she sniffles again and my heart just breaks for her, "Surely my one time fuck won't want to raise a baby with me."

I sigh, "There's plenty of single parents out there. I promise you, it'll all work out in the end. Have you told your family?"