おそれ

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They say that life flashes before your eyes when you're in immediate danger. That your heart pounds so quickly, even the loudest of noises could be blocked out. The first thing doesn't happen, to Namjoon. His eyes don't close, he can hear the tires screeching.

His eyes close, then.

Jeongguk was just about finished with his shift for the day, when another coworker had taken the call. As he passed by to leave, they laid a heavy hand on their shoulder, before passing him the phone.

"Hello?" He asked, wondering if Namjoon had called here instead. He didn't remember seeing any notifications on his phone.

"Is this Jeon Jeongguk?" Someone asked, a soft and polite voice.

"Speaking."

"We have you listed as an emergency contact for Kim Namjoon? There's been a car accident, the in—"

Time goes slowly for Jeongguk. He doesn't remember if he puts the phone down, or if he drops it. His life is flashing before his eyes. It just keeps stinging with the thought of their child. Time moves so slowly.

It isn't fast enough, even if the first taxi stops for him. Or if they drop him off right in the ER. It isn't fast enough when he asks for his fiancé, and the woman notifies him that a doctor will be out to see him.

Time moves — as slowly as the turtle — Jeongguk is the hare.

"Kim Namjoon?" A doctor calls, smiling politely when the jittery man shoots up in response.

"That's me— well, that's my fiancé. I'm his fiancé— yes?" He chatters out, and he can't get himself to stop biting at his lip between words.

"He's free to be seen." The doctor bows politely, before leading the way a little further down a hall.

"How.. how bad is it?" He asks, and he holds his breath, waiting for a response.

"Kim Namjoon is fine." The doctor assures, smiling over his shoulder.

"And our baby?"

They stop in front of a door, the Doctor halting before he pulls it open. "I'll let you see for yourself."

"You're unbelievable." Is the first thing Jeongguk lets tumble from his mouth.

There his fiancé is, still very much pregnant and munching on snacks that seem to be from a vending machine; as he sits on the hospital bed and watches cartoons.

"Baby!" Namjoon cheered, hands automatically going up.

"Unbelievable." Jeongguk whispers, sinking to his knees to lean his cheek against the very obviously round stomach.

"What's wrong?"

Jeongguk glared you at his lover through tears. "Stupid." He mumbled softly, wiping at his face. "I was so worried. You were in an accident, Namjoon. You're my lover and this is our baby."

He's choked up now, forehead pressed to the itchy fabric of Namjoon's hospital gown. Jeongguk feels oddly restricted, like he can't be close enough to his fiancé right now. Namjoon's fingers find purchase in his hair; a soothing trail, back and forth, back and forth.

"I'm sorry."

"You can't do that to me." He finds himself whispering so softly. "You can't, Namjoon."

"I'm sorry baby."

He's apologizing and it's absurd, because the accident hadn't been his fault; nor had he been in any position to control it. Namjoon knows what his lover means, though. He had felt that panic, too. It was a numbing pain, almost, even though he was thankfully unscathed. The older male still felt a disconnection to everything else, until the doctor told him that it was a miracle.

Their baby was okay.

"It's a boy." He breathes out softly, into the silent and open air.

Maybe it's the wrong timing, and maybe Jeongguk would've wanted something more grand; a small party where the gender is unknown to both of them. But Namjoon tells him anyway; can't bear the secret alone. He's rewarded with the brightest eyes staring at him, wide with unshed tears.

"A boy?" Jeongguk chokes out, running a hand against the little dome that houses his son. "Fuck."

Namjoon chortles at that, looking at Jeongguk in disbelief as he laughs. "I can't believe you!"

"I wanted a girl!" Jeongguk whines, but smiles nonetheless. "But we have more time for that. Right now, more than anything, I just want a healthy baby."

Their ride home is slow. Like, extremely slow. Jeongguk is refusing to pick up the speed past 35, and he's taking every possible back road to ensure that no other cars are going any faster than that, as well.

"Are you serious?" Namjoon huffed out, watching as another car passed them, speeding up to at least a nice and steady 40.

"What now?!" Jeongguk groans, eyes refusing to even glance the others way.

"Jeongguk! We're going to be heading back to the hospital to pop this baby out before we even make it home!"

"Did your water break?!" It's absurd how panicked the other can get, so quickly.

It's absurd, but Namjoon is in love.

He's also very horny, so if they take another 45 minutes to make it home... well, at least he can say he was safe.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Oct 18, 2019 ⏰

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