Saved by the King

Twenty Three*

I rolled over to look at him. I couldn't see him through the darkness, but I could feel his proximity and I knew he could see me. I reached where I thought his hand would be, suddenly feeling guilty at how cold I was being. He clasped my hand tightly and I swallowed my pride. "I'm sorry," I said, "I'm not being fair."

He pulled me closer to him, dragging me from the edge of the bed. I felt him kiss my forehead. I melted into his touch, not realizing how much I missed his strong presence. "Feeling cranky recently, love?"

His smell and warmth swirled around me, making me feel drowsy. "Just say you're not mad at me," I said sleepily. Logan chuckled.

"Of course I'm not mad at you," he said gently. "But you've been edgy lately. Is something wrong?"

I wasn't aware that I had been acting differently, though I definitely knew why. The Bond was constantly nagging on me, begging me to complete the Shift. I didn't even completely know what the Shift was. I had been feeling increasingly restless, unsettled, on edge.

"It's the Bond," I said finally. "It's driving me crazy."

"It's driving me crazy, too," he said after a short silence. I was shocked at the frustration in his voice. The Bond was urging me to complete it now, complete the Shift, fulfill what was definitely going to happen sooner or later.

Was I ready to complete the Bond? It's such a permanent thing. There's no going back, and it means that I fully accept my role as both Logan's mate and Luna of Gwinn Forest, arguably the most powerful pack in the world. That was no small commitment.

It also meant that I trusted him completely. There was no going back after this. If someone asked me three months ago to permanently bind myself to a male, and an Alpha at that, I would have probably laughed in their face if not breaking down in tears first. It went against everything I've been taught to believe: you can't trust males. They're all violent and selfish and dangerous. I didn't think Logan was like that, though. The Bond says he's not like that. He says he's not, and his actions say he's not, and my instincts say he's not.

And then again, what else would I do? I was already too invested in Logan, and even if I wasn't, where would I go? What would I do? It didn't matter. The Bond would never let me leave. I would never let me leave. I was feeling the effects of not completing it, too. The outcome was inevitable, so why wait? Especially when it was hurting both of us?

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before snuggling in closer to him. He made space for me, almost as an instinct, allowing me to seamlessly fit myself against him like a puzzle piece.

About a month ago, Logan and I almost inadvertently Shifted. It hadn't been hard; it almost happened without either of us trying. I wasn't sure I remembered how to do it, but I concluded that I could probably figure it out.

I squeezed my eyes shut and, for once, encouraged the Bond to show itself instead of pushing it back. It immediately roared to life, sensing my intentions.

The familiar warmth overcame me again, but this time more quickly. My awareness heightened, and this time I recognized that I was, however briefly, experiencing Logan's heightened senses.

Cold filled my mind, and the warmth receded. Logan had pulled back mentally, but I could still feel the heightened frustration radiating off of him. "Carter," he said, his voice strained. "I can't...I don't know if I can control myself if you do that again. The Bond is...making it difficult to hold back."

"Don't, then." I said. Now that I felt it for a second time, I was eager to complete the process.

"Don't," Logan said softly. "Don't say it if you don't mean it. I want you to be ready."