Always in My Head - An SOA Fan Fiction

Chapter 34

The four of them ate together, the kids talking over each other trying to steal Opie's and Mae's full attention, like they did every night. It never worked, they were good at alternating their concentration from child to child. As the kids cleared the table, still talking at lightning speeds, Opie chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you have any idea what they said?" He stretched his arms across the table and took her hands in his.

"I think?" Mae whispered and leaned over the table closer to him. "Ellie has a crush on that Scott kid, she's been talking about him a lot and Kenny wants you to help him with his swing."

Opie pulled a face, "They didn't say that."

"No, but it's how they say things and even what they don't say." Shrugging, Mae tried to ease his wounded ego. They were his children after all, she was just used to listening and better at it than most. "She may have told me she has a crush, but I was sworn to secrecy and Kenny, I mean every boy wants to play ball with their dad."

"You know this kid?" Peeking over his shoulder Opie looked at his daughter with sadness. When did she get so big and start noticing boys?

"A little, he seemed like a good kid. If I did know him well, that would probably be a bad thing."

They got up together and, as usual, headed out to the table in the backyard. Mae smiled, fidgeting in her chair, and decided to start. Obviously Opie wasn't going to as he kept sucking on his beer bottle. "I love you," she wanted to remind him. "And I want to talk, not fight, okay?"

"I'm sick of fighting. I'm sorry I was pissed, I shouldn't have said that shit."

Mae's smile was tight as she nodded. "I'm sorry too, I was dramatic but if you ever bring up my addiction like that again I can't promise I'll forgive you, Harry. That was uncalled for and just really mean." There was no defense. Opie knew when he said it how bad it was but he was so angry it just came out. He nodded like a small child as she scolded him. "Same with the 'visiting my ex' comment, I'm not the one who made that mistake so don't push it off on me."

"I'm sorry," he raised his hands in surrender.

"I went to a bar in Lodi, had a few drinks and came home. That's it."

"Please don't do that again, shit, I was losing my mind. You don't understand how scared I was, Mae." Now it was Mae's turn to take some lecturing. She did know his fear but she remained silent and nodded. "Dave is your ex, I don't think I'm wrong when I say I don't want you to see him, especially after all the shit he's pulled." Slinking down in her seat Mae agreed. "And Tara, you know how when you keep a secret it doesn't count as broken when you tell me?"

"Yeah." She laughed at that, everyone knew that was how secrets between friends worked when in serious relationships. "Oh, she'd tell Jax." That was foolish of her not to realize his point. "I know you're stepping back but I didn't think you'd just cut it all off. You don't want him to know anything?"

How could he explain it to her without outing what Jax had done? It seemed impossible and hypocritical considering what he'd just said about secrets. "He wasn't as accepting as the others, I don't want him hearing anything and using that as a way to get me back in."

It was the fact that he'd chosen 'use' that bothered her the most. "Okay, but I'm not going to ignore her or be rude. I won't tell her anything though. I promise." She was still upset, Mae really liked Tara but it wasn't worth another battle. "I haven't had a chance to tell you, I found an NA meeting. I went yesterday and tried to go today but I missed it."

"Why?" Concern washed over him, she was always so proud not to have had to use rehab or meetings when she originally got clean. He couldn't help but fear the cravings were that strong. "Shit, Mae why didn't you tell me you were feeling that bad?"