Trainee (Shin Ryujin)

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"W-What are you saying?" Your lip trembled, scared your emotions would pour out right in front of her.

"I'm saying that we can't do this anymore. We have to break up." Your girlfriend said, tears of her own built up and she forced herself to look away from you.

"If we get caught were done and we can say goodbye to our dreams, and y/n I love you so much but- this is my dream..." she trailed off.

It sounded like you were just another obstacle in her way, you knew it wasn't supposed to be taken that way, but your insecurities had a way of controlling your thoughts.

"I-I get it I get it," you turned your back to her letting the tears roll down your cheek, frowning till the muscles on your face ached.

You heard a sniffle from Ryujin but chose to continue.

"I get it, I really do. I'm just holding you back...and you can't have someone like me bringing you down, I'm sorry Ryujin I won't get in your way anymore." Jaw clenched, you began walking towards the door.

"Y/n-No, you know that's not what I..." She grabbed your hand as you took hold of the doorknob with the other.

It took all your will power to hold yourself back from turning around. Without another word, feeling her grip loosen, you slid through the door closing it behind you.

With your eyes scalding with tears, you practically jogged all the way to your dorm where you shared the room with other trainees.

Thankfully, no one else was in the room so you were left to breakdown by yourself. A heaviness settled over your chest as you recalled Ryujin's break up more and more. You knew that this would eventually come, you knew that with her growing popularity amongst the JYP staff that you'd soon be seen as just another basic trainee who's not ready to debut, but the thought of her choosing to leave you for this left a sour taste in your mouth.

You weren't enough for her and you already knew that. You would never be able to reach her standards.

Not being enough for her brought on a different type of emotional pain to you. Curled into a ball as you sobbed into the pillow of your bunk, you decided that no matter how much it hurt you, no matter how much this will affect you, you'll show her you are enough, and if not for her, than for you and only you.

Your crying had eventually subdued to a whimper and you began wondering what to do next. It was then that you recalled, you've been here for more than 4 years and still, haven't been able to debut. You remember one of Block Berry Creative's scouts approaching you a while ago and asking if you'd be interested in an audition, you declined of course but they still gave you their number in case you ever wanted to change your mind.

Now, it was your chance to take a risk.

You were getting nowhere with this company, maybe this one would be different, Pulling out your phone you dialed their number.

"Yes, hello? This is Y/N Y/l/n, from last month...yes... I want to audition..."

-

A week later Ryujin and the rest of the other trainees make their way into the dance room. Her eyes wandered around the room out of natural instinct in search of you.

The choreographer walked in five minutes later and Ryujin still saw no sign of you.

"All right girls, there's been a change of groups..." She began calling out the names of girls switching into different groups while everyone moved around with confusion as to why their groups were being changed.

A girl spoke up and said, "Why are we changing groups?"

"Oh well I'm sure some of you know or probably don't by the looks of it but... your senior, y/n y/l/n, will not be debuting with anyone because she has decided to leave the company." She stated matter-of-factly.

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