MANOBAN'S PAST (Jenlisa)

Chapter Nineteen: Agony

LISA'S POV

"Mother."

The woman from the house looked at me in wide us.

"Lisa..."

The feeling of agony and hate rushed into my heart. The woman who left me for years is in front of me now.

I stood up and Jennie also.

"Lisa, what's going on?" She asked me

The people around us stood up and looking at us in confusion.

"She's... she's my mother." I uttered as the anguish tears fell from my eyes

"I can't understand... you said your daughter is already dead." Hanbin said to my mother

Dead? Wow. Just wow. In her mind and heart, I'm already dead.

"Great." I chuckled and took Jennie's hand "You're right. Her daughter died years ago."

I dragged Jennie with me. I don't want to see her face again. The hate I'm feeling for her got worse. I despised her! The love I have for her was gone.

"I'm here, Lisa. I'm here." Jennie's voice is the only thing that makes me sane

"I know, Jen. Thank you." I smiled at her

"Lisa, can you please hear me out?" Adeline shouted, I know she's chasing us behind

Jennie stopped walking and made me stop also.

"Jennie! Goddamn it! Let's go!"

She shook her head "Get it over, Lisa. Let go of the agony. Free yourself from all the pain. I'm tired of seeing you like this." A single tear escaped from her eye "It pained me seeing you like this."

I bite my lower lip while tears keep on flowing down from my eyes "Okay. Just please don't let go of my hand."

She nodded and smiled "I won't."

Adeline is in front of us now. Looking at me directly.

"Lisa... my child."

"Don't call me like that. Your child was dead. You remember?" I chuckled bitterly "I died years ago."

She tried to reach for my hand but I stepped back "Don't touch me."

She sighed "I'm sorry. I don't know where to start. I made so many mistakes that pained you. I'm so sorry. I was trying to convince your dad to let me see you. I'm sorry for making myself and others believe that you're dead. I was ready to move on, I want to start over again but I always think about you, everything reminds me of you. I will always love you, my child."

"I know. Daddy told me about that." I said, dismissing her other words

"He did?"

"Yes, and I didn't see any effort from you to see me. I was expecting you to at least show up in my house and beg for my forgiveness but you didn't."

"Your dad doesn't want to give me your address." She reasoned out

"But if you really want to see me, you'll do everything to find me! Heck! If you really want to look for me you should have done that years ago! Or.. you could have just stayed and chosen us over him but again... you didn't. I hate you for doing many mistakes for me but I hate you most for not doing anything for me! For not doing your best to be with me." My shoulders shook as I cried more

I hate it to look vulnerable but that's what I am right now.

"I don't know what to say for you to forgive me. Lisa, please give me a chance to be a mother to you."

"Another chance? Another chance to be my mother again? Just like your daughter, my mother died years ago. She died with all the happy memories I had with her. I hate you. I hate you the most!" My voice raised "I grew up longing for a mother! I grew up being hungry for a mother's love! Why you didn't come back when I needed you the most? Why does it be easy for you to leave me? Why does it was so easy for you to make yourself believe that I am dead? Am I hard to love? I envied every child I saw with their mother because my own mother left me. I longed for you. For your hugs during the cold nights, for your kisses, for your bedtime stories, for your cooking, I longed for your love. You are taking care of other's kids while you're own daughter is miserably longing for you! How can you do that? Don't ever ask for my forgiveness because you will never have it! Never!"

"I'm sorry! It wasn't easy for me to leave you! I really wanted to stay but.."

"But what?! Because you don't love me! You don't love us!"

"No! That wasn't true! I love you! I love you more than myself! More than anything in this world. I wanted to stay but I thought if I stayed I will just continue to hurt you. Do you think your dad and I will work our marriage out after what I did? I don't think so. If I stayed you will just see us fighting and hurting each other."

"You could have just stayed for me. Not for dad, but only for me." I said in a low voice, my voice is trembling, my shoulders never stopped from shaking "Am I not enough reason for you to stay?"

"Of course you are." She cupped my face

I don't know why I let her touch me. Fuck it. I feel so vulnerable. After so many years, the warmth coming from my mother never changed.

"Why you didn't stay? Why did you choose him over me?" I looked into her eyes "Why you didn't stay?" I repeated

I need to know the answer. I need to know if I wasn't enough for her to stay.

"Because I thought that was the right thing to do. But I was wrong. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I've made. That time, I was a mess. Everything was a mess and the only thing I can do is to be with him. I had no choice."

"You have. That was to stay."

Jennie is just watching us. She's giving my hand a slight squeeze occasionally to make me feel that she's here for me. She's crying with me. I know it pained her to see me like this. I'm sorry, Jen.

I still can't get the answer I want to hear. I want to hear something to satisfy myself.

Adeline brushing my tears away using her thumbs "You think we'll be a happy family again if I stayed? No, Lisa. After what I've done?"

"I told you to could have just stayed for me! Not for dad! For me, mom! For me! For me!"

She engulfed me in an embrace "Just give me another chance. I will do everything you want just give me a chance."

"Me or them? Your new family or me? You choose!" I used my other hand to slightly pushed her away from me

She looked at me with pleading eyes and shook her head "Not that one, please. Don't make me choose."

A bitter chuckle escaped from my mouth "Just like what I thought." I turned around "Don't try to go after us if you don't want me to lose the last respect I have for you."

~~

Hi guys! Sorry for being mia. Kinda stuck between school and tutoring. How are you? Leave some comments and please vote. I love you and your Jenlisa heart ❤️🏳️‍🌈🖤