As I lay in silence
Pitch black
Tossing and turning
My mind is awake
Memories from who I was
Who I can't be anymore
A teammate
A captain
Plagued by my loss
I feel so empty
How is an athlete
Never supposed to compete
Doctors are experts
Yet it took weeks to diagnose
The second in a row
My athletic career a ghost
Told that the game
The field and the people
Are welcomed if I wish
If I want a knee of steel
When I was 17
All I had was the game
Any sport
Would numb my pain
Until I tore my knee
In the middle of the day
No cool story
I was walking in school
As I got my gown on
I looked in the mirror
I waved goodbye
To the life I knew
When I woke up
My leg felt dead
I tried to move it
Pain
The first thing I did
Asked the new nurse
"How was it"
"How did I do"
She told me I did great
I woke up pretty quick
I was functioning before I left
Unusual for the rest
That nurse left out the details
The doctor, a different case
My parents were worried
About the expression on his face
They told me he was depressed
Which I had never seen
A doctor, an expert
Completely sad because of me
Before the surgery
He assured me
Most likely
A quick recovery
His estimate was crutches
For a couple days
I'd be back soon
To live my life again
When I saw a different nurse
She stared into my soul
No weight for 6 weeks
This was not my goal
I wasn't really shocked
For I knew what I felt
I'm just good at hiding it
Clearly doctors can't tell
Just as I told my family
Reluctantly, close to crying
It felt like the first time
Unfortunately, they knew I was right
The worst part isn't surgery
It's the weeks after
When you're forced to sit in bed
Let my mind wander
I realized my old life
The life I loved to death
It was really gone
After just one breathe
YOU ARE READING
Frozen Feelings
שיריםThis book outlines the pain I experienced in my past and the things that I look back on. These are my greatest fears and worst moments. I'm not writing this for the public, but for myself
