Drabbles and Short Snippets (Requests OPEN)

I Want to Feel Something Again (Torchwood)

Warnings: Mentions of eating disorders, and self hate, please don't read if this is triggering to you. Rating PG-13 because of swearing and references to mature themes . Takes place after Owen's death, main character is the new medical person. 

"Has anyone seen my penis?" I yelled from under the dissection table.

"Your what?" Tosh asked, looking at me sideways from her station.

"Not my penis obviously, but this aliens'. I swear I turned my back for a second, and it was gone." I clarified pushing up my glasses with the crook of my elbow. 

"Don't look at me I didn't take it," Jack joked walking down the stairs from his office. 

"Is it green and covered in black goo?" Ianto asked, disgust twinging its way into his voice.

"Yeah," I confirmed, standing up at looking at him. "Do you see it?"

"Yes, it's trying to get into your tea," He explained, pointing to my tea cup which was balanced on the edge of my instrument tray. Low and behold the specimen in questions was squelchy making its way into my cup of green tea. 

Quickly, I grabbed a set of tongs and a specimen jar before pinching the handle of my tea cup and dumping the entire contents into the jar, penis, tea and all. Sealing the lid, I placed it back next to body I was working on. 

"Note: subject's penis is cable of self propulsion after death. In future make sure it is secure." I spoke, clicking the recorder off that I had grabbed from my instrument table. "Well, I'm never drinking out of that cup again."

Later...

After having finished my dissection, and recording my findings I was getting ready to take a brief walk outside when I nearly collided with Ianto.

"Jesus, Ianto, you- how do you do that?" I stammered, taken aback by his sudden appearance.

"Its just my nature. Here's your sandwich." He explained, handing me a paper plate with pumpernickel and salami sandwich on it. "I thought you might want it for your walk."

"Thank you Ianto, you know I am perfectly capable of making my own food." I smiled, taking the plate from him. All I got in response was a curt nod, and Ianto left as quietly as he had come. 

I gently placed the plate down on the edge of my desk before grabbing my coat. "Anyone need anything while I'm out?" I was met with silence. "Alright then," I muttered, grabbing my sandwich before heading for the lift to take me up to street level. 

After the lift finished it's long journey, and I was basked in the Cardiff sun I set off for the street. Along the way I passed a young man begging for food on the corner. It was the same man I had seen for the past few weeks. His face lit up when he saw me. 

"Aliyense! How are you today?" He asked, a smile breaking through the layer of dirt and tiredness. 

"I'm good Conner, how are you? How goes the search?" I asked, handing him the plate which he grabbed, hungrily biting into the sandwich. 

"So-so, I've found a place to stay for the next few nights, and one of the guys who works there is an expert at getting people jobs. So hopefully I'll be back in the world soon." He explained through a mouth full of sandwich. 

"That's awesome, I'm so happy for you. Anything I can do to help?"

"Naw, you've already done enough, just keep bringing me sandwiches? Until I'm off?" He asked a little sheepishly.

"No problem mate, I wasn't gonna eat it any way. Good luck," I spoke giving him a quick smile before continuing my walk.

On my way back, I dipped into a corner shop and grabbed a box of Ritz Crackers. Careful not to drop the crackers, I opened one of the roles and took out a single cracker. Reveling in the scent, I slowly started to nibble on in, my stomach doing flip flops. Soon my stomach had settled enough, and I was able to finish the cracker just as I walked into the main entrance.

"Enjoy your walk?" Ianto asked, popping up from behind the front desk. 

"I did, and the sandwich was great too." I murmured, tucking the box behind my leg so he wouldn't see it while brushing off any crumbs off my lips. 

"Oh, Jack wants to see you when you get back down." Ianto informed, opening the secret door for me, before going back to whatever he was working on before I had walked in. 

'Awesome' I thought, taking the stairs down instead of the lift, trying to postpone talking to Jack for as long as possible. I managed to sneak back to my desk with minimal interruption by the others, which was impressive considering how loud the gate was entered back into the hub. 

I had just tucked the box of crackers into my desk when I caught sight of my reflection in one of the panes of glass. I quickly looked away, I knew what I would see if I kept looking. 

"Aliyense," A deep voice rumbled, shocking me out of my thoughts. Turning around I came face to face with Jack, his hands tucked into his pockets as he lent against the wall. "You're avoiding me."

"I am not, I was just-" I tried to explain but Jack held up a hand. 

"Let's go up to my office."

'Well I'm screwed'. 

           -                                                                                             -                                                                                      

I sat down in the chair opposite of Jack's desk while he closed the door behind him.

"Aliyense, how are you doing?" Jack asked, shocking me out of head. This was not the way I thought the conversation was going to go. 

"Good, I'm fine." I replied giving him a small smile. 

Instead of sitting behind his desk, Jack walked over to the front of his desk and leaned against, arms crossed as he stared at me.

"You're not a great liar Ali." Jack replied shifting his weight on the desk. "I know what you've been doing."

"I don't know-" I began but Jack cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"I keep tabs on my people Ali. You've not been eating, you hardly leave the Hub, I don't know the last time you slept and doubt you know either. I saw you today give your lunch to that poor homeless boy, the same lunch that you've been giving him everyday for the past couple weeks. Ali, you can talk to me, what is going on?" Jack questioned, easing off the table to crouch down in front of me. His light blue eyes peered quizzically into mine and I had to look away. "Ali please..."

"I-I..." I started but the words broke down into sobs. It started so suddenly I couldn't stop them, they just rolled out of my body, shaking my frame. "I feel so alone!" I managed to choke out. My body bent over, fists pressed against by eyes, smushing my glasses against my thighs as I tried to stop the flow tears. I felt Jack slowly move from his position in front of me to be by my side, his arms wrapping around my back, slowing rubbing circles.

"Shh...it's okay. You are not alone, you've got all of us." Jack assured running a hand through my hair, pulling it away from my face. 

Slowly, the sobs ceased, and all that was left was little hiccups of sorrow. Wiping away the tears from my face I eased back up into my chair, giving Jack a light smile. "Sorry..."

"Don't apologize, you've done nothing wrong. I should be the one apologizing to you, I know you joined us during a difficult time, and I never realized how hard that must have been for you. I never wanted you to to feel like you're alone, or not enough again, okay?" He spoke softly giving me a light kiss on my forehead before lightly cupping my cheek. "I'm always here for you to talk to, always. I mean I do literally live here. You are perfect just the way you are, don't go trying to change you alright? Now- why don't we go get you a proper meal?" Jack asked which pulled a small laugh out of my lips.

"That would be nice," I murmured as he gave my cheek one more light caress. Jack gave me a small nod before lifting his hand from my cheek, offering it to me to help me up. I took it. 

Aliyense- Chichewa for anyone/someone. I thought it would be a good way to do a gender neutral character so it can apply to anyone without doing the old (Y/N) format.