Promise the Sky

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Ben

 

 

 

It's funny how consciousness sometimes comes before the agony, as though the waking body needs a second to collect itself together. Or perhaps it is simply a last moment of sympathy from the physical to the mental that keeps that second of delay just long enough for a man to fool himself into thinking he's alright... or already dead.

And it's funny what a man can notice in that second, what subtle pressures he can feel upon the surface of his skin before his entire existence explodes.

My lips are cracked and my throat dry. There is time in that second for a single breath and it rasps down through my body like the dying rattle of an old man. My back aches from stone flooring and my ribs throb with part-healed bruising.

And then it hits me.

A single line of fire birthing an entire ocean of pain, iron waves radiating out from the centre of my face to the furthest frayed edges of my being. And I just lie there and feel it. Any reaction would be too feeble; crying, screaming... the responses would do little more than scratch the surface of this torture. It goes beyond time and consciousness, it is just a thing that is and always has been: I lose myself in the sensation, forget my name, forget the shape of my body, so morphed is it by agony. I forget my very existence. The only thing I can remember is the only thing I can feel, torn flesh and cracked bone, from the corner of my left eye and down the full length of my cheek.

This state of me, that is defined by broken nerves, lasts an indeterminable amount of time and then, finally, his voice breaks through.

"... I need you to respond, Benjamin."

"How many times has this happened?" My voice is thick, dry, and my lips stick together as I speak. By the time I have finished, I am panting. Too much energy for such weak words but beneath the pressure of my ruined eye, even collecting my thoughts together enough to open my mouth is just about beyond me.

There is laughter.

"You have woken six times. This is the first you have shown of lucidity."

I gather the scattered remains of man, pulling them together just fast enough to prevent the world from fading again.

I can see. It is the first thing that matters. Before I notice any details of my location, I notice that I am still capable of sight. And it makes this bland box the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Ben, can you look at me?"

"Null?"

He crouches over me, leaning in too close. His face remains half covered by shadow, nothing so intricate as before, but still enough to obscure him. All I can see is a wide smile, a smile that seems oddly genuine.

"Oh aren't you a beautiful thing," he grins, "I think you might actually be powerful enough to live."

My face hurts so much that it echoes down through my teeth, out through my chest, and into my toes. My whole body is tired and hurting, rusted and broken. And still there is only one thing that matters, one tiny thing.

"Is it gone? Did you take it?"

Null sighs, shifting himself so that he sits at my side. There is an awkwardness to his movement and eventually I realise he has two fingers placed carefully across my face. The lightness of his touch remains hidden beneath clouds of pain but I am still hit by sudden panic. Is he actually holding the two halves of my face together?