Plot - Evan tries to become confident and ask his crush out, who has a crush on the anxious version of him but can't help but like the new confident side to him as well.
Ship: Connor Murphy X Evan Hansen
Musical: Dear Evan Hansen
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Crippling anxiety.
That's what I have had to deal with for most of my life and has been the one thing getting in the way of me actually trying to talk to my long time crush, Connor Murphy. However, I am determined to not let it affect me anymore and I am utterly determined to become confident. No more letting anxiety get in the way of what I've always wanted it's time to change.
It's time to be confident...
I walk into school, not letting the normal anxiety thoughts get a hold of me. I don't care if people want to stare they can take a picture because it will last longer. I don't care if people whisper something about me behind my back because it is clear that there lives must be so pathetic that they have nothing better to do with their lives. I don't care if people are homophobic because I am gay as fuck and nothing is going to change that.
Marching down the corridor, I try to locate the familiar long brown hair but it doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight but instead my eyes catch Jared, who stands by our lockers ,which are conveniently together, so I head over to him instead.
"Yo Evan. How's it going acorn." He says with a slight chuckle, a confident smile plastered on his face. Time to wipe it off.
"Don't call me that." I snarl.
"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What's got into you?" He chuckles again, holding his hands up in surrender.
"I'm fed up of you teasing me and putting me down Jared. I'm making a change. I'm fed up of letting my anxiety get the best of me. I have decided to be confident." I say, not stuttering at all. Hmm...maybe adopting this confident persona was a good idea after all. I look up and my eyes meet Jared's face, his mouth agape and his face purely shocked, before turning into a smile.
"I'm proud of you Hansen. If you had stood up to me like that 5 years ago then I wouldn't have been such an asshole to you this whole time." He says and pats me on the back, swinging his arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer to him, in a friendly manner.
"You're just an asshole anyway Jared but I don't have time for you. Have you seen Connor?" I ask him, pushing his arm off me and making my way over to stand in front of him, leaning against the locker as I face him.
"What that school shooter? Of course not." He says and my fist curls up in a ball at Jared's rude comment regarding Connor.
"He is not a school shooter and I am fed up of you calling him that." I say sternly, advancing closer to him.
"Don't ever call him that again. You got it?" I say, clutching at his shirt so he is pulled close to my face as I give him an intimidating stare, a threatening look that I never knew I could conjure up.
"Got it." He says and I let him go.
"Gosh dude you actually need to calm down. If you're looking for Connor he is probably under the bleachers smoking." He says and I nod before walking off to the bleachers, not even thanking Jared.
I make my way under the bleachers trying to find Connor, the familiar speck of brown hair cascading down the wall, where Connor as hot as ever stands leaning against the wall, the smoke bud on his lips before he takes it out and puffs out smoke. Oh how I wish I could be that cigarette so that I could get a feeling of what his lips would taste like on mine.
"Yo Connor." I shout and his head snaps around to my direction as he drops his cigarette on the floor, putting it out with his foot as he begins to advance closer to me. My heart begins racing but I tell myself to calm, reminding myself that I need to be. No. That I am confident and not the socially anxious kid that every one thinks that I am.
"Hansen. What's up?" He asks and I am surprised he even knows my name. I don't even let him finish his sentence as I march up to him, clutching his black jacket into my hand and pulling him down to reach my height, planting my lips on his own. Sirens are going off in my head telling me to stop this but I continue kissing him, addicted to the warmth and the pleasure that rushed through me when his lips are on mine. I pull away, a blushing mess and my confidence immediately seems to shatter.
"OhmygoshI'msosorryyouprobablyhatedthatIshouldnthavedoneitI'msosorry." (Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. You probably hated that, I shouldn't have done it. I'm so sorry). I ramble, avoiding eye contact.
"Hansen." He places his hand on my shoulder, immediately calming me down.
"What happened to you being confident enough to kiss me?" He asks, a smirk on his face as I look up to meet his eyes. "I liked you when you were socially anxious but this new you turns me on way more." He says and my blush worsens.
"Well if you like confident Evan, confident Evan is what you'll get." I say, my confidence rising as I pull him forwards, planting my lips on his once again, as I kiss him with more force and passion and him kissing me back with the same amount but also with a sense of lust, his hands beginning to roam down my waist but I pull away before it proceeds to go any further.
"So do you want to be my boyfriend?" I ask confidently and he pouts.
"I wanted to be the one to ask you."
"Well tough luck. I asked you." I say, my voice laced with cockiness as my smirk widens.
"Oh I see how it is but I'll still be your boyfriend." He says smiling at me, giving me a quick peck before he begins heading out of the bleachers.
"If you think you're topping in bed you are solely wrong babe." He says turning back before running off, leaving me a blushing mess but proud that I was actually confident enough to ask him to be my boyfriend even if I end up not being the dominant one in this relationship.
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Again another idea by me which I hope you enjoyed as I thought it would be a nice change to have a confident Evan. Please request some other ideas, angst, smut any other musicals like heathers or any character and reader one-shots.
Request!
- Meg
