One of Us (Moxiety)

Authors Note...

Hi guys.

Yes I know how much you don't like AN's and want to read the actual story but I just really needed to get this off my chest and I feel better telling thousands of strangers instead of my parents for some weird reason.

I know I haven't been posting a lot recently and I've just been having so much going on. After I got my job I've been coming home anywhere from 10:30-11:15 at night with having to wake up at 6 to go to school the next morning tired out of my mind and teachers constantly being like "you ok?" "you ok?" like NO I have to work 8+ hour shifts and you're putting 6 hours' worth of homework on top of my head and assigning hard as shit assignments 3 weeks before graduation.

And the only reason I decided to get a job was having my dad constantly being like "when you going to get a job?" "When are you enrolling for your college classes?" "What are you wanting to do with your life?" Giving me a FUCKTON of anxiety added onto the unhealthy amount of social anxiety I ALREADY have!

And then there's my mom where I can't have a conversation with her without here staring at her phone and then asking me to repeat myself 5 times where I get frustrated and leave the room and this bitch is all like "why don't we talk anymore?" because I get interrupted, you don't give a shit, and CLEARLY don't accept me for the person I WANT to be.

Let's get specific shall we?

My mom is a crazy catholic (so much so she wrote "notes" in the Mormon book like wtf?!), probably a pro-life person, from what I gather mostly unaccepting of the LGBT community, and against public school- oh wait no, "the system" so much that she might not even go to my fucking graduation (like what kind of parent DOES THAT?!)

Then you have me who's kinda given up on religion after my suicide attempt, pro-choice, bisexual, and has had a rough life as far as school is concerned and been put into public school since 10th grade.

Yea... we don't mix very well do we?

I've been on hiatus with some of my stories so long it's depressing me and I know most of you are gonna be commenting "take your time, we can wait" and all that and while I get that some of you are patient people it still doesn't stop me from being depressed.

It's taken all I have to keep myself going and being clean since my last relapse in March.

It also takes me a lot to trust people with information like this. The amount of time I had to take to trust my best friend after our "falling out" last year just about killed me but my brain kept telling me it was necessary.

I just- I don't know why I'm still talking anymore. I hope you don't see this as some long winded bullshit to keep the next chapter from you guys.

I'll see you when the next chapter comes up (whenever that'll be),

Em.