Something about the Summer ON HOLD *EDITING*

Chapter 21

 CHAPTER 21

I can't help but act differently around Kirke, ever since I found out he had been accepted into University. I don't mean too, but I feel myself holding back because I know he's bound to leave. I just don't think I'll be able to handle it without relapsing. I thought to myself, while making myself a vanilla latte. My newest obsession. Arms wrapping around my waist broke my train of thoughts causing me to squirm away from his touch. I heard a frustrated sighescape his mouth before he moved to the opposite side of the bench. Our eyes meet briefly before I anxiously look away, looking at anything but him. I can't help notice that he looks extremely tired and drained, am I causing this? All my ignoring? 

"Kris what's going on here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is everything ok? I'm worried about you, you're ignoring me and you're barely eating. Should I contact your counsellor or something?" I was waiting for him to ask the real question. Am I relasping? I couldn't answer because the truth is I don't know. It's not like I chose to relaspe, it justs happens and I don't even notice. I sighed before replying. 

"I'm fine Kirke"

"No your not"

"How would you know?"

"I've known you for most of your life, I know when something's wrong. So please just tell me"

"Nothing's wrong"

"Stop the bullshit Kris!" I stared at him shocked as he raised his voice. "I can't deal with this Kris, I can't help you anymore than you can help yourself. I can't just sit back and watch you begin to relaspe again and do nothing! It's driving me insane. So for once in your life, can you just open up to me!"

"I can't" 

"Kris, there's only so much I can do. I feel like I've done all I can. Why can't you see"

"Stop" I pleaded, staring down at the bench to stop him seeing the effect he was having on me. I only realised how much I actually relied and how much pressure that must put on him. I can't rely on him because he'll be soon. 

"What can I do Kris?" We stood their in silence, not looking up until I heard his footsteps leaving the house. I let the whisper out that I had been holding in.

"Stay" I whispered, before colasping onto the ground, bringing my legs into my chest as I cried out the pain.