Something about the Summer ON HOLD *EDITING*

Chapter 17

Krisandra's POV.

A couple of weeks went past and we got Tui's CAT scan back, the doctor said that he was improving and there was nothing to worry about at the moment. Today, today is the day when Tui is first going to try his wheel chair and the day my mum passed away. Dad is making us visit her grave but to tell you the truth I don't want too, its been years and I didn't even go to her funeral. She didn't deserve it and she doesn't deserve Tui and I  to be there today. Kirke and Charlie offered to come but we all declined not wanting to find out the secret my family has been hiding for years. So here we were waiting for the wheel chair to come to Tuis room all dreading the day that is ahead. I knew today was going to be extra hard on Tui because I know how scared he is to get in that chair in case he never gets out of it again. I began holding Tui's hand drifting back into my own daze until he started squeezing it really hard. 

"So here's the chair, to move you just pull on the wheels like this, and to break you either pull backwards or switch this switch" Tui nodded his head unable to speak. The nurse brang it closer and helped him into it, he hesitated at first but then made his way fully into it. He bean moving in it having to practice before we all decided to get this over with. I pushed Tui after a while because he got too tired. We made our way silently towards the cemetery, I was afraid to speak. If I spoke I didn't know what would happen so I continued pushing Tui behind dad becoming slower and slower when we reached the gates of the cemetery. Dad continued on familiar with the surroundings while Tui and I stopped. Our father stood in front of a white marbled stone an angel statue on top. I couldn't help but feel how come she deserves this? What good in her life had she done to deserve and angel on her head stone?I know from how I knew her she was no angel in fact she completely opposite. The women of my nightmares, the reason for my screams and I hate that my father can just stay there and act like she was a good person. He even gave her flowers before returning to us. I couldn't even look him in the eyes. 

"I'll be waiting at  the gate" Tui and I made no movement as we continued where we were. It seemed a while that we were standing here but I just could not make my feet move. 

"Krisandra. Let's do  this together" I smiled down at him with tears in my eyes.  Even in the situation hes in now hes taking care of me like I am him. Brother and sister by a chance, friends by choice. 

"Ok" I said cautiously slowly moving Tui's chair along the dirt reading the names before coming across her stone. 

Maria Asherhurst 

Loving Wife 

Loving Mother 

She will forever live with in us. 

That's a funny one dad. Her photo in the middle as well, the photo must of been taken before she turned into the monster I knew. She was actually smiling and looked somewhat decent. I hate looking like her, from what I remembered I didn't but from this photo it was an exact replica of me. Black hair, pale skin and naturally red lips. I couldn't help the tears welling up in my eyes as Tui grabbed ahold of my hand. I couldn't take my eyes off her head stones, flowers over flowing from the plank that you rest on. She doesn't deserve flowers, She doesn't deserve any of this. She was trapped under her stone and I was glad this way she could hurt us no longer but the thing is the past always hurts me. Sometimes even worse than what she could of done. She was sick and didn't deserve to be a mother. When I was little my mother suffered really badly from post natal depressions. No one except my dad took notice of it, the counsellors said it was nothing. I was only 5 at the time,Tui was 4.

When my mother had a miscarriage and it got much worse for me. She couldn't take it and would take her anger out on me. Looking down a my wrist the scars still remain, a constant reminder of the pain she caused me. I would not cry she did not deserve to see me weak, I would not give her the satisfaction. My father had clicked on about a week after it started but that didn't stop her when he went away for work. She would start doing it in places that he couldn't see, making me wear clothing that covered my arms and legs fully. 

  I remember being so happy when our family was together we would all laugh and have the times of our lives. I also remember as soon as my fathers back was turned I would be in pure agonizing pain. This lasted for years until I was 12 and I fought back against her. Although that was really no help until one day. Tui and I had returned home from school and I went straight up to my room, I hated my life, I really was going up to my room to die.She had hurt me in so many ways that there was nothing left for apart from Tui but she was fine with him. I remember wanting to be gone, and this seemed like the only escape. I hated that she had this control over me so much that Id want to take my own life. 

The scene always runs through my mind, scaring even my nightmares. I heard screams. Lots of screams. Then the smell of smoke came through my door. I was jumping in alert. Those screams were Tui's and I didn't want him to hurt like I have. So I done what I thought I had to, I ran down stairs and threw myself in front of Tui as she went towards him with a knife. The knife went through my liver. His screams were no longer, instead it was mine.

I can still see her piercing eyes glaring at me, as she pulled the knife back and slapped me across the face, pushing me away from Tui. The pain was just so much and there was so much blood, so much. She charged towards him but Tui dodged quickly. I remember using all the strength I had left to stand, I was screaming at Tui to get out. To leave now otherwise he'd get hurt too. The fire had spread and it was creating thick black smoke. The smoke was just so thick I couldn't find Tui, I couldn't find him. I remember screaming his name over and over before being pushed against the wall, banging my head viciously. My whimpers only heard from the person who's sinister laugh was in front of me. I was becoming dizzier by the second, unable to stop the blood and get away from my mother. "Why are you doing this?" "Like you don't know. Like you don't know!" 

I screamed for Tui and for dad but of course I knew none of them would come. That was until I felt the weight disappear from in front of me. Small hands pulling me in the opposite direction. I thought we were safe, I thought we were going to be ok. I was so stupid and naive, of course she wouldn't of given up without a fight. A hand wrapped around my ankle dragging me down. She was  so strong, Uncommonly strong. I got a kick in, one clean kick which must've been enough. We never saw her again after that. Tui and I got out of the house the time the firetruck and ambulance pulled up. My dad arrived home shortly after not even worrying about us, I was dragged off to hospital but from what I got told by the nurse too much smoke had entered Marias lungs causing her to have a heart attack. My dad was devastated, he couldn't even look me in the eye. Tui was there for it all beside me while I was in hospital. I was rushed into hospital and discharged 6 weeks later.

Nobody else apart from our family knows what happened. Nobody has seen all the scars on my body because no one has seen my in my under wear or swimsuits. Its been so hard to keep this stupid secret form my best friend and boyfriend. I don't think I can take it any longer. I must of been staring at her stone for a while be cause by the time I came around Tui was already talking to her.  He held my hand giving me some strength. 

"-I don't think you'll ever know how much you have hurt me but do you know what the worse thing is. The fact that you hurt my sister and the fact that I see her hurting every day because of you. You were a poor excuse for a mother and I'm glad that Kris will never be anything like you. I hate that dad thinks you some sort of angel, because lets face the truth your not. I hate that the only reason Kris got hurt by you was because she was protecting me. I hate when I have to wake up to my sister screaming in pain. I hate that you were our mother and you don't even deserve that title. The thing is I haven't forgiven you and when I have children I hope they never turn out like you. I want to forgive and forget but I cant until I see my sister stop hurting. That's all I have to say to you" Tui squeezed my hand before rolling away to stand by dad. I turned back to the stone unable to speak, the tears flowly freely down my face and onto the ground. 

"Hey Maria. I guess you know who I am. The little girl you spent your life hating. The little girl you caused so much pain to. The little girl you have scared forever and not just physically but mentally too. I used to wake up form nightmares every night! Even now I wake up from them at least once awake. I stayed away form hanging out like a normal teenager because of you! I don't like getting close to much people because of you! Most of all I'm the person I am today because of you. I guess in a sick way you made me stronger, I am protective over everyone I care about. I love with all my heart even though I'm afraid of getting my heart broken. Kirke is just so amazing and he has some what healed me as well as Charlie. I don't forgive you but hopefully from now on I can move on with my life without you bringing my down because 'mum' I wont let you bring me down anymore. Not anymore" With that I stood up and left her standing behind me. I know I'll have those days where I cant stand it and will break down but I'm going to try. I'm gonna make the most of life I promise myself that.