Chapter 13

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I woke up still not feeling the best, emotionally.
After laying in bed and hitting snooze several  times I decided to call in sick.
I needed the day off.
I needed to clear my head and I knew exactly where to go to find my peace of mind.
I eventually got up and took the longest hottest shower while playing throw back jams that always brighten my mood.
I took time massaging every part of my body and then washed my hair.
I loved feeling the hot water against my scalp.

When the water was starting to get cold , I stepped out the shower and wrapped a towel around my body and another towel wrapped my hair.

I applied a face mask before going into the kitchen and making myself some breakfast.
There's nothing I loved more than a cheesy toasted breakfast sandwich with a side of tea.

While my sandwich was in the toasted I washed off the face mask before going back to eat my sandwich while watching some "F is for family". The greatest show ever made.

After breakfast I started getting dressed and blow dried my hair. I threw on a pretty summer dress that ended just mid thigh and quickly grabbed my handbag before heading out.

I was already feeling better but I knew by the end of the day I'd feel like a new woman.

I got into my car and started the one hour drive across town. I drove with the windows down and with my radio blasting.
It was truly a beautiful day with the sun shining and no cloud in sight.

After driving for a while I pulled up in front of a building. "Little Angels daycare" was painted in front of the colorful building.
I parked my car and started walking towards the building and I could already hear the loud laughter of little children.

I walked through reception explaining I was here to be see the principle and after being cleared I followed the familiar path to the principles office.

I knocked on the door before entering.
"Aubrey!" My grandmother exclaimed once her eyes fall on me.
"Gran" I called before rushing to her and giving her the biggest hug.
This was the kind of hug I needed.
Her hugs always made me feel better, they were warm and everything that a grandmothers hugs should be.

My grandmother was old, a lot older than you'd think when first looking at her. She had aged gracefully. After all , black don't crack.
Her head was topped with long grey dreadlocks that reached her waist and she always wore bright flowy clothing that I'm sure you could never find at just any shop.

"How are you my baby?" She said placing her hands on my cheeks and staring at me with so much love and that I felt my tears well up.
"I'm okay , how are you ? You look amazing as always" she laughed off my compliment before leading us to a couch she had in her office.

We sat down and she held my hands while still looking intensely at me.

"Your eyes are sad my baby." She said "and I know you're supposed to be at work."
Her eyebrows were raised in concern and I couldn't help but let it all come out.
I told my grandmother  everything about what's been happening with Tony. I told her about my insecurities and my fears.
I told her about how I didn't expect to find someone right now , I had gotten into the routine of being single and I was comfortable. This was not comfortable.

My grandmother listened quietly while gently stroking and drawing patterns on the palm of my hands .

By the time I was done talking I had tears streaming down my face.

"Let me tell you a story." She said as soon as I was finished.
"When I first meet your grandfather , every Tom , Dick and Harry had something bad to say about him. I was warned to stay away from him. Told to be smart. There were constantly girls that were ready to fight and take him away from him. But you know what I did?" She asked

"What?"

"I trusted my gut. I trusted his actions. I didn't listen to anyone. Even my friends that liked him. I listened to myself. So well the world was tryna pull me in every direction away from this man. I stood my ground and let him prove himself to me. And he did!" She said with a laugh.
"Your grandfather seemed to move mountains , he would make a way even when they seemed to be no way and it was all because he loved me. And he never failed to show me."
We both sat on the coach in silence smiling at the thought of my late grandfather.
Even early in life it was always clear to me that they loved each other so deeply.

"Sounds like you've been listening to a lot of outside voices lately. But baby , what do you want? When you throw away the fear , insecurity , all the noise , what does your pretty heart want?"

It didn't take me long to realize what I wanted. I had always known what I wanted.

"I want him." I said
"So then act like it. Get your man and keep your man." She said playfully slapping my knee.
"If he is as great as you've said he is then give him a fair chance. But just remember, there will always be noise. The noise will never stop but that doesn't mean you have to tune into it and take it to heart. Noise will always be just noise. It's loud and attention grabbing but baby it is always nonsense." She pulled me in for another hug and just like that I felt like everything was gonna be okay.

"You must be hungry after all of that." She said letting go of me and getting up.
"We'll have some lunch and then I'll sneak in the kitchen and get you some ice cream, how does that sound?" She said rubbing her hands together like a villain. 
I burst out laughing before getting up walking towards her.
"That sounds perfect gran."

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