Addicted to Mr Right

Going From Bad To Worse

"ARGH!!!!, get off me , get off Hugh now!!!"

"What's wrong Alex?, why are you crying your shaking, fuck Alex what's wrong just tell me!"

I jumped up as soon as he release me, I grabbed my sweat pants and ran to the bathroom. I cried and I couldn't stop shaking, I knew I was having a panic attack I need to get out of here, I put on my pants and opened the door.

Hugh was standing waiting in the corridor I didn't look or speak to him, I knew it wasn't his fault it was mine for not being able to deal with my past, what was harder is the fact he didn't understand because he didn't know, will I ever be able to get past this!

I ran downstairs, quickly putting on my trainers I grabbed my bag and ran out the front door, leaving his house and him behind.

It broke my heart, I wanted to go back and tell him everything but I couldn't, I don't think I'm strong enough, I don't think he is strong enough, not to deal with my shit anyway!

"Hi Francis do you think you could come get me please?"

"Yeh sure, where are you?"

"I don't know, I've just ran out!"

"Right ok, put your tracker on your iPhone and I'll come find you ok!"

"Ok thank you"

"Don't worry Alex, I'm on my way!"

I texted Hugh and told him not to follow me, I need space I said which made me feel like he deserved more of an explanation but what was I suppose to say that I couldn't do it because it set off a trigger caused by joey inflicting pain on me, tying me up and making me bleed, leaving scars on me where he split me, he would never let me go, just kept probing and sticking foreign objects in me, how could I tell him that, I just don't think I could handle the reaction I know he would give me!

I just don't think I will ever be rid of this torment!!!

Francis arrived, I could tell he was frantic, he stopped the car and I felt myself falling to the floor, the panic had taken over which made my body go into shock, everything went dark......

I tried to open my eyes, bright lights beamed in them making them painful, I couldn't speak and then I could feel myself going out again!

"What the fuck did you do to her?"

I heard the anger in francis's voice,

"Nothing, we were having, then she freaked out and ran! now she's here, did you find her like this?"

"As soon as I arrived she collapsed, she hit her head on the floor!"

"Gentleman please, this is not the place to be having heated conversations, she will be fine but I need you to wait in the waiting area please!"

It went quiet, where was I? my head hurt, I was cold and drowsy, what was wrong with me?

"Francis", I whispered, I know he was here somewhere.

"Hello Alex, you hit your head, your ok though your in hospital, your friend is in the waiting room would you like them?"

"Yes!" that's all I could manage all I was thinking of was Hugh, he didn't even know I was here, I hope he's ok!

"Alex are you ok darling?" I felt Francis grab my hand.

"You need to get Hugh, you need to tell him, does he know?"

I couldn't open my eyes, my vision was out of focus and I was really drowsy from whatever they had given me.

"Don't worry baby I'm here, i'll never leave your side I promise!"

" I'm so sorry, Hugh I can't tell you, I'm sorry please don't hate me!"

"Don't be silly, I could never hate you princess, I just wish I knew what made you like this, it's killing me!"

"I'm sorry Hugh"

He knew why I was saying sorry, he knew I couldn't tell him, Francis seemed to click onto what caused this and squeezed my hand tighter.

"Alex, I'm Dr spring, can you open your eyes so I can check your pupils please?"

I opened them, they seemed to focus better, I could see the pain in Hugh's eyes and Francis was paler then I'd ever seen him.

"Right, you have a deep abrasion to your left temple, we have stopped the bleeding and dressed the wound but you will have to stay here for 24 hours for observation."

"I can't, what about work, I'm at work tomorrow!"

" Well we can contact your boss and explain, but you will not be attending!"

"No need I'm her boss, I will sort it"

" Well there you go no need to panic."

Oh god the pain hurt, how stupid was I, now everyone was going to know at work, I think I love him but how will I ever let him love me, things couldn't get any worse!!