A Loss of Words

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I could feel the tears running down my face and neck. I had no idea what I was going to do, how to fix what had happened, or even what to say. I knew I had to go and try to talk to her but at this moment I couldn't even move from the bed. I laid there crying until I heard the door open. I sat up slowly to see who it was. It was Isabel, with a few tears coming from her eyes. It pained me to see her cry, especially knowing it was partly my fault.

I got up from the bed and walked over to her. Still bare skinned I wrapped my arms around her waist and brought her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry," she whispered to me. "Does she think it is her fault!?" I ask myself knowing she did. I brought a smile to my face and looked into her eyes, "It's not your fault, I wanted to do that. I knew there was a possibility of getting caught and I still did it." I said and she gave a small smile, "Just think" I started, "Now we don't have to hide it from her."

She hugged me tighter and rested her chin on my shoulder. I could feel the silent sobs against my neck which she had nestled into. She acted as though if Kim would have known she wouldn't have cared but she was terrified of losing her daughter. "Does this change how you feel about me?" Isabel asked and I chuckled a little bit, seeing her this way made her seem like a small child. "No Isabel, it doesn't change anything," I said and I felt her smile against my skin. I reluctantly let her go and she did the same, "I'm gonna get dressed and try to talk to her." I said and she nodded, "Alright."

After putting my clothes back on I gave Isabel a kiss and left to mine and Kim's room. My heart ached when I saw all of my stuff had been thrown out into the hall. Was she that angry with me? I felt the tears coming to my eyes once again but pushed them back. I took a few deep breaths and knocked on the door. "Who is it?" I heard Kim ask and her voice gave away that she had been crying. "It's me, Kim," I said, "Go away, I don't want to talk to you." She said and my heart felt as though it had stopped.

"Look, I know you probably hate me now," the tears started to slowly flow from my eyes. "But we have to talk about this," I said and I heard her walk to the door. She opened it and rage was plastered over her face. "About what? Getting with my mom and not telling me or fucking her on our vacation and not telling me!?" She yelled and every word made my tears flow more and more. "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you for this exact reason. I didn't want to lose you." I said and she got angrier, "Then why did you do this in the first place! Sneaking around with my mother! I knew you liked her and I thought you would just ignore them for our friendship!" She said and I got angry this time. "Ignore my feelings!? How the hell was I supposed to ignore them!? Am I not allowed to be happy because she is your mother!?" I yelled with tears streaming down my face this time.

"No, you are supposed to talk to me about it! I'm not upset you are with my mother, I'm upset that you didn't fucking tell me! Yeah, it's weird but I would have gotten used to it if you had told me yourself!" I saw tears come down her cheeks, "How the hell was I supposed to tell you," I started off yelling but then got quieter with tears, "Walk up and say, Hey, Kim you'll never guess what happened. I got with your mom?" I asked her and her look softened for a moment then became angry again, "You could have told me something!" She said and then slammed the door. I fell to my knees and put my hands over my eyes while sobbing rather loudly. I felt a hand on my shoulder and whipped my head around to see who it was. My heart dropped and my sadness turned into anger and fear. It was Mr. Heins. I slapped his hand away from me and stood up. "Someones feeling feisty today." He said with a smirk and I felt like running away. 

I bit back the feeling of fleeing, "not this time," I thought. He must have heard the yelling and come out to investigate. "I see you cut your hair," he said, "Why would you do such a foolish thing?" He asked with a smile and I felt chills go through me at his words. "Silence?" He said in more of a statement than a question. He took a step closer and I involuntarily flinched which brought a smile to his face. I couldn't do it anymore; I turned to run and I felt air slip by my wrist, he barely missed. I ran to Isabel's room and frantically knocked on the door. She opened it a second after Mr. Heins grabbed my hand. He stood behind me with a smile, "Hello Ms. Jackson," He said not releasing my hand from behind me. He gripped it tightly, it hurt, but I wouldn't show Isabel that it did. "Hello, Mr. Heins, what brings you here?" She asks and then looks to me. She looked back to him, it was obvious she saw how scared I was, why was she so calm. 

"Why do you have Emma with you?" She asked him and he got serious. "She was out in the hall screaming and I thought, even though it's not school, you as the guardian at this time might want to hear about it." He said and she seemed to believe it. "Alright, I'll take it from here." She said and grabbed my shoulder with an angry look. I had no idea why she was angry until I noticed she was looking at my arm. He had let go when she grabbed me but it was starting to turn black and blue. "Have a nice day Ms. Jackson." He said with a smirk and turned to walk back to his room. As soon as he was out of sight Isabel pulled me into a tight hug. The tears started to fall again once my face was buried deep in her chest. "Was that him," she asked and it pained me that I knew exactly what she was talking about. I pushed away from her and looked to the floor. "It's alright," she said and wiped my tears away from my face with a smile. "I promise I won't say anything if you don't want me to." She said and I frowned at her, "You can't hurt him either." I said and she groaned, "No promises." She said and we both started to laugh, "It's been one hell of a day, but at least I still have her," I thought and stared into Isabel's eyes.

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