If Only (18+)

Chapter 7

I'd like to dedicate another chapter to a dear friend of mine, gabbygirly 🥰 She has been such an amazing supporter & I'd also love if you could check out her romance story called, Innocent Emily Kim!💕

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TRIGGERING SCENES!♡

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The bell had just rung, signaling it was time for lunch.

Internally groaning, I walked towards the cafeteria. The room was crowded, filled to the brim with lonely freshmen and preppy seniors.

I was a twelth-grader myself, but even at the age of seventeen, I couldn't really do much. My freedom was limited due to my brother and my lack of social life. 

Plus, the fact that I was a social pariah didn't exactly help me gain any new friends, either.

Walking towards the lunchline, people immediately scrammed, not wanting to be seen with or around me.

Looks like I don't have to wait for a million lightyears for food, I thought optimistically.

Grabbing a lunch tray, I tried not to cringe as I picked up a bowl of salad, an apple, and a small carton of milk. 

It's okay, this is only about 250 calories, I mentally reassured myself.

Besides Sadie, Stacey, and practically the whole school, food is my sworn enemy. No matter how much I tried to eat, I always felt fat and looked disgusting.

Why can't I eat without throwing up? I pondered internally.

Walking through the line, I was so close to leaving the lunchline, but something stopped me.

Pathetically, it was a small bowl filled with ranch packets.

Just take one, Valerie, that little packet doesn't hold that much calories...

Without thinking twice, I grabbed a ranch packet and sat it on my lunch tray.

This is good, I thought as I walked out of the lunchline, just don't think about the number of food you have on your plate.

Walking through the cafeteria, I looked around for an empty lunch table to eat at. But, it was quite the challenge since there was a large number of students attending Northwood Private High School.

Then, I spotted an empty small round lunch table near the trashcans. 

Sighing with relief, I strolled to the vacant table, ignoring all of the stares, and began to eat my lunch. Opening my carton of milk, I drank it without worrying about the people around me. Or, at least trying to.

Sadie, Stacey, and their friends were nowhere in sight, which I was grateful for. I don't think I could deal with any of their tauntings during lunch.

Although they adored harassing me and making me feel miserable, they didn't always spot me twenty-four-seven, thankfully.

Either because they didn't feel like it or they were gone, I didn't care. One day without dealing with them was a blessing and I thanked God for every day I was left alone.

After taking a small bite out of my apple, I tore open the small ranch packet and poured the contents onto my salad. It was plain, with only lettuce and purple onions, but I never liked a lot of food, anyways.

As I took a bite of my salad, I could feel everyone staring at me.

Ignoring their gazes, I continued to eat.