If Only (18+)

Chapter 1

Walking down the crowded hallways, I felt isolated.

Loneliness has always been a dear friend of mine. A long time ago, she came knocking at my door with an evil grin. I declined her approval of entry every time.

But, after showing her true intentions, I let her in. Welcomed her, even.

She comforted me, and never failed to show me just how bitter-sweet the world was.

Especially at times such as right now.

"Oh, Valerie! I didn't even see you there!" My ex-best friend, Sadie, obnoxiously apologized as I went crashing down to the floor after she rammed her shoulder into me, taking my breath away.

"It's alright," I replied monotonously, latching my hands onto my notebook that fell out of my grasp.

"Excuse me, bîtch. What did you just say?" Sadie snarled, her dark brown eyes glaring at me. The way they stared at me reminded me of two small black holes filled with pain.

"I said 'it's alright'," I mumbled, rising from the ground and dusted off my knees where dust and dirt had stained my black knee-high tights.

Taking six tantalizing steps, she wrapped her hands around my throat and shoved me against the lockers. As I felt a lock jam into my back, I didn't fail to notice students either walking away or crowding around to watch.

"Listen here, slût," She spat, making me flinch, "don't act like the good girl you think you are. Because you're not. You're just some lying, cheating whôre who doesn't know the difference between a dîck and a lollipop." My eyes shut closed, wishing- hoping - I wouldn't cry.

I don't understand why I'm still trying to hold back tears after hearing her vile words. This wasn't anything new.

But maybe, it hurt because she used to be the one and only person I trusted the most. Although, I've never blamed her for a second for leaving me behind in the dust after she heard the rumors about me.

The hold around my throat tightened for a second, then loosened, making me slack against the lockers. Slowly, I slid down, not caring about the disgusting glares everyone sent my way or the bystanders that walked to class without a single thought.

This is my life; being left in the dust in solitude.

Sadie knelt down, and her dark eyes pinned me to my spot. Opening my eyes, I looked back at her and my heart caved in when I saw the pure disgust in them.

"You're pathetic. Stay away from me. From everyone. Better yet, stay away from this school, so no one has to look at your filthy face anymore." She said softly, her hand pushing back my platinum blonde hair.

Turning my face away from her, I felt ashamed. No matter how hard I tried to stay out of the way and make good grades, that horrible name always managed to stay over my head, like a raining cloud.

Lying, cheating whôre...

The shrill bell rang through the hallways, and everyone surrounding us let out a groan before walking to their own classes. Sadie abruptly stood up, grabbing me by the collar of my white blouse, loosening the small black bow I tied.

"Don't even think about sitting in the cafeteria for lunch today." She spat, then finally releasing me, heading back to class.

As her 1-inch heels clicked on the school tiles, I looked down at my watch and realized I only had a couple more minutes until the tardy bell rang.

Turning around, I let out a small sigh of relief as I notice that the lock jamming into my back was part of my locker, #351.

I guess people treating you like absolute crap really comes with its perks, I thought sorrowfully as I maneuvered the lock, entering my combination.