Chapter 4

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"Elowen! Get your sexy ass over here and don't blame me for this!" my dad yelled. He took a swig of liquor from the bottle he was holding before grabbing me.

"A man's got needs, girl!" He spat into my face as he talked, his fingers scraping my skin as he yanked my clothes off.

"No, stop!" I pleaded with him to leave me be, but the next thing I knew, I was pinned to the bed. One moment he'd be downing liquor, and the next he'd be pleasuring himself. For a second he'd be shoving me around, and then he'd be forcing himself onto my face. The flashes of torture rattled my brain and I tried to scream out for help, but no sound came out.

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My eyes flashed open and I was staring at the ceiling of Colby's bedroom. My chest was rising at a rapid pace as I tried to convince myself that it was just a dream, but the problem was, that dream was made up of parts of my reality.

I forced myself out of bed, the cold floor against my bare feet sending shivers up and down my spine. I cringed at my reflection in the mirror. I was hideous. My hair was frizzy and tangled. My makeup was smudged. My lips were chapped. My skin was agitated and red.

What hit me the most was the bandages covering my forearms. All the events that happened the night before suddenly hit me like an oncoming train. Me, the girl who seemed unbreakable, had broken. I choked back a sob.

You really don't know pain until you're staring at yourself in the mirror with your hand over your mouth so you don't make any noise. Tears are running down your face and your heart is breaking and you're thinking of everything that made you cry. Your other hand is on your heart or stomach because they both hurt, and you're begging yourself to just hold on and be strong.

That is pain.

My face scrunched up and I let out that first gasp. I tried to be quiet but it eventually became loud, heart wrenching sobs. I fell to my knees and cried and cried, so much that I couldn't breathe.

Why? Why me? Why this? Why can't I just be dead?  I sobbed, trying to gasp breaths in between. Eventually, I completely collapsed to the floor, and I just laid there, completely numb.

The next thing I knew, Colby's panicked voice was waking me out of a deep slumber.

I opened my eyes to see Colby, his face red and his eyebrows furrowed. He had my face cupped in his hands, and his voice shook as he said my name.

Without thinking, I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around him and nuzzling my head into his neck. I began to sob heavily into his shoulder.

Colby froze for a second out of shock, but then wrapped his arms tightly around me in return. With one hand, he slid his fingers into my hair and rested it on the base of my neck, and with the other, he rubbed soothing circles into my back.

Sam and Jake were there, too. They awkwardly stood there until my sobs turned into sniffles.

"Please tell us, Elowen," Jake said. "What happened over the last few days?" I sat up onto my knees, looking at my hands rested in my lap, contemplating whether I should tell them or not. They obviously cared, but I had already let them know too much.

"I told you already. Family issues," I mumbled. Jake gave me a disapproving look.

"Elowen," Jake warned.

"Don't pound her with questions, Jake," Sam scolded. "Let's leave them alone. She can talk if she wants to." Sam took Jake's arm and pulled him out of the room, closing Colby's bedroom door behind him.

Colby and I sat in silence. It felt as if Colby and I had met for the first time just last night. Like the Elowen he had known for 2 years wasn't actually me.

"How long has this been going on?" Colby asked.

"Since before I even met you," I said.

"I'm so sorry," was all he could think of to say. He looked gloomily into his hands that rested in his lap.

"Please don't think of me any differently," I begged. "I do feel real joy in all the memories we've made together. I'm not just a fake, I promise." I reached out and grabbed Colby's hands in mine. "Please believe me. I love you, Colby." At those words, Colby facial expression softened. I held my breath, afraid of what Colby would say. Last night was the first time I had ever confessed that I loved him. We had always been just friends, not even close enough to say we loved each other in a platonic way.

Before Colby could say anything, loud shouts erupted from downstairs. A female scream could be heard above the deeper male voices.

"Elowen! Colby! Come quick! Something is wrong with Corey!"

"Someone call 911!"

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