Dear diary: How do I heal his broken heart?; Choi Soobin

f i v e

Sitting on my desk, I hear the professor talking as my mind is completely clouded with thoughts. These days I could barely sleep because of Soobin's stuff all over my head, and speaking of him, he hasn't arrived yet and that's such an uncommon thing for him.

I sigh, looking at my notebook without being able to focus and read a single word when I hear the door opening. I look up and see him entering the classroom, he has dark circles under his eyes and his smile is nowhere to be seen.

"Mr. Choi, you're late." The professor says, scolding him. Soobin bows.

"I'm sorry, I had trouble coming today." 

The professor sighs and gestures him to go to his desk.

The classroom is as silent as it was before he arrived, everyone just being focused in the class. My eyes keep glued to his figure sitting in an empty desk close to mine, his head hanging down all the way. My heart aches at the sight, knowing he probably didn't sleep well last night.

Somehow, he seems to notice me staring, and turns his head to look in my direction. My eyes widen in surprise and I immediately divert my gaze to my notebook as my heart pounds inside my chest and my cheeks burn in embarrassment.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and sigh, mentally slapping myself.

The class goes by normally, but he's obviously not the same as always. His friends would talk to him or even try to cheer him up, but they only gained a slight smile in response.

At lunch time, I grabbed my plate filled with food and took a seat with Suri and Yeonjun.

"Did you see Soobin today?" Suri asks, as if she could read my face, or my mind. The look in her face is filled with concern.

I sigh, nodding.

"Yeah, I did." I shrug. "He doesn't look well. He looks tired and so unlike him." 

Suri pouts, rubbing my forearm gently. Yeonjun shakes his head.

"I talked about him yesterday, though." He admits, gaining a look from me and his girlfriend. She frowns.

"You did? You didn't tell me anything."

He nods. I tilt my head to one side, waiting for him to explain what happened.

"It was late at night. He arrived at my house and he looked so bad I couldn't say no to him. He's my cousin after all." He explains.

A knot forms in the pitch of my stomach, being curious of what he said, but also scared for some reason.

"What did he tell you?" Suri asks again, knowing I wouldn't be able to do it myself.

Yeonjun leans forward in his seat, resting his arms over the table. He lifts one of his hands and rubs the hairs behind his head.

"He said Gyuri wouldn't listen to him. That she's been incredibly rude with him and he doesn't understand why. He's been apologizing for a hundred times already, but she doesn't want him back, so she treats him like a piece of garbage." He explains, shaking his head. "He cried a lot last night."

"She's a bitch. There must be a reason behind all of this." Suri says. I feel like breaking down again.

The picture of him crying inside my head is too painful. Someone as beautiful and bright like him looking so destroyed because of a girl, makes no sense to me. He's amazing and could do so much better.

But the heart wants what it wants, I guess.

"I just don't understand." I mutter, playing with my food and not feeling hungry anymore. I look up and meet Yeonjun's gaze. "Please, don't leave him alone." I plead, he smiles gently at me.