I'm Not Who You Think I Am (Team Crafted & Hunger Games Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

Snow's P.O.V.

I watched as they slept. Gradually over the course of a few days, Thalia, Jerome, and Mitch began to trust me.

Today was the first day I was going on watch.

I sighed. I got too close to Jerome the other night. I couldn't have a repeat of Jason.

Jason.

Just thinking about him made me choke a little.

Stop it. He never loved you, it was all an act.

I didn't know what to do.

I was lost.

"Shut up." I murmured to myself. Love was stupid. I didn't want it, I didn't need it.

Yet still, my fingers trembled as I picked up and examined my knives.

"You okay?"

I looked up to see Jerome.

My face heated up and I was glad it was dark. "Yeah."

"Don't lie to me. You know I can see right through you."

I glanced at him before looking at my knives.

"Snow." he said quietly.

His voice set me off.

"I'm not some charity!" I said angrily. "I don't need your pity okay? I've lived eighteen years in isolation and I'm fine living a few more weeks like that! I don't need you to comfort me!"

He didn't even flinch.

"I'm not as easy to shake as most people Snow." he whispered. "I don't care what you say, I'm not leaving you."

"That's what people say. They say they care, they say they love you. Then they kick you to the curb." I spat.

Silence followed.

"Or they die." I said in a trembling voice.

"I know how you feel Snow. You know that."

There was truth in his words. He had lost someone to the Games too. Someone he had cared about.

"The line between what I know and what I don't is blurred."

He laughed. "You're probably the most intelligent person in Panem."

I frowned. 

"I've been awake this whole time. I've been watching you. You're afraid Snow. Admit it."

"Admitting fear is admitting weakness."

"You're not weak. Anyone with common sense would know that."

"Some people with common sense think I like murdering innocent people."

"It doesn't matter what they think. I don't care what they think. They don't know you. I do."

I shifted slightly.

He noticed.

"Jason?"

It pained me to hear his name but I nodded.

"You only have true love once in a lifetime." 

His words surprised me. 

"I don't think so." I blurted out without thinking.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

If you only fall in love once, why am I doing it again?