Harry suddenly feels like their four years of friendship is being flushed down the drain. He try's so hard to talk to Louis and stay in contact with him, but Harry isn't getting anything back. Louis doesn't text him as much or with any enthusiasm. To every three of Harry's text there is one of Louis. It's been almost three days since Louis texted Harry back and he is heartbroken.
Maybe Harry shouldn't be so upset about this, but texting is the only form of communication they have anymore. They used to FaceTime a lot, but since Louis school has shit internet, they've stopped that too. Without texting then what do they have? How can they stay in contact? The answer is they can't. That's the problem with online friendships, and that's how they all end. Lack of communication.
Harry loves Louis, more than anyone he's ever met (other than his family, of course). No friendship has ever compared to the friendship that Louis gives him. Harry doesn't know who he would be without Louis, and he doesn't want to know.
But Harry's gotten a small glimpse of his life without Louis the past couple of months, and it isn't fun. All Harry does is mope around thinking about Louis. He wonders if he should double, triple, quadruple text Louis. He wonders if he should send a huge long text about how much he misses him. He wonders if he should just not say anything for a few days, just to see if Louis would even fucking notice. because that's the thing that's really upsetting Harry, not that they don't text much, but the quality of their texting is shit. Louis doesn't seem like he is interested in even upholding conversations with Harry anymore. It's been like that since December.
God, December was shit. Probably the shittiest December yet. The December before this year's shitty December was the time Louis came all the way from LA to Harry's home town in Cheshire. They had spent an entire month together, until the end of January when Louis had to go back home. So, this December there wasn't any Louis, which is a bummer in itself. This December Harry and Louis decided to send each other gifts. Harry sent his out so it could get to Louis mom's house just in time for Christmas and Louis birthday. He had so much stuff packed in that box that it cost over $100 to ship, and it consisted of gifts not only for Louis, but for his whole family. Harry put a lot of thought into those gifts.
Harry was heart broken when Louis didn't send anything back. Even five months later, in mid May, Harry can't help but still cry at the thought of Louis not caring enough about Harry to send him a gift. He cry's that Louis forgot about Harry and the gift. Harry cry's a lot now, mostly because of Louis. Harry wishes Louis cared about him half as much as he cares for Louis.
It's not like Harry doesn't tell Louis all of this, because he does. In March, Harry texted Louis about the gift thing. Harry asked if he had ever sent it or if he had planned on sending it. Louis message back to him was shoot! i'm so sorry!!! i was supposed to send it this spring break but i totally forgot!! i'm so fucking sorry it has just been laying in my closet.
Louis sent Harry a series of messages about how sorry he was, and about how he'll send if for Harry's birthday and it would have more stuff in it (Harry's birthday had already passed too). Harry ignored Louis for three days, he isn't even sure Harry noticed.
Of course Harry started texting him again. He can't stay away from Louis for long. But since then their conversations have been shit. They text, but they never say anything important and they never text for long. They haven't had any FaceTimes.
Harry's friends and sister keep telling Harry that he should just stop texting him, and stop relying on him so much. They tell Harry that he should friendship breakup with Louis. Obviously Louis an asshole, they say, stop trying so hard.
If only it were that fucking easy. Harry is stuck so far up Louis ass. He would never stop being Louis friend, no mater how many times Louis shits on him.
It's probably because he's in love with Louis. It always comes back to that, doesn't it? Ever since they dated in their first year of internet friendship, all Harry wanted was Louis. All of him, in every way. They broke up, though, because Louis thought they would be better off as friends and Louis isn't very good at staying committed in a long distance relationship. At the time Harry wasn't upset about it, he understood it. Even now, Harry isn't upset that they aren't dating, because it would never work out. Louis is thousands of miles away, he will always be far away. Harry just wishes that Louis would be more considerate of his feelings. Louis knows that Harry is in love with him. Harry has told him five or six times since they broke up three years ago, but Louis continues to send Harry selfies of him and his boyfriend. Louis continues to talk about how he showered with his boyfriend and how since his uni isn't strict on anything, they can sleep in the same dorm together.
Harry wishes he had the guts to just tell Louis to stop. Tell him to stop texting shit about his boyfriend. To stop texting, period, because he doesn't know how much longer he can handle feeling like this. He feels like shit all the time, he feels like he will never be good enough for Louis, or anyone for that matter. He is so depressed all the time and Louis hasn't even taken a second to notice.
Harry always feels selfish, though, because he knows that Louis is dealing with his own shit. He recently transferred to a different uni. He's had to make all new friends in a all new area at a much harder and stressful school. But Harry doesn't know if that is really enough reason to push Harry away.
Honestly Harry doesn't know anything anymore. And he doesn't know how to tell Louis that he's sick of it. He doesn't even know what Louis reaction would be.
That's another thing, if Harry were to stop fighting for Louis, for their friendship, he isn't sure if Louis would try to fight. He doesn't know if Louis would even care or if he would just forget about Harry and all of the love they share (or shared - maybe it's past tense now).
One day harry does decide to stop texting. He decided to stop spamming Louis all the time. He changed schools too now, so he had made new friends and new people to rely on. He even found himself a new girlfriend. He feels happier and lighter.
Sure he text Louis everyone once in a while, but he is still always the first one to text. The first one to reach out, Harry doesn't think that will ever change, but he's not willing to throw away everything.
