One Week Older: Turning Pages

Real and True

* Michelle Harrison *

Walking into the school building, a distressed Michelle hurriedly walked up to us before we could enter the event I have dreaded almost every day: my junior year at Deering High School.

"Daya, have you seen Dennis? After this morning, I just cannot be with him anymore, but he is not answering. When you see him, tell him to call me, okay."

Before my reply, Michy took notice that Jay and I's hands were intertwined and winked at him, causing us both to blush before Jay slid his hand out of mine, never taking his eyes off Michy.

"Um, I'll be sure to let him know," I goaded as I threw daggers into Jay with my eyes. "Hey, Daya I know this is weird to ask you, but did you know what he was doing? It seems like everyone knew but me, and I should have been the first to know he was cheating."

I opened myself to say something, but I just could not get the words out. Jay said, "We'll talk to you later," and pulled me into the school building and away from that awkward conversation.

We became one with immediate shoving and pushing around by the hustle and bustle in the hall. Behind me, I felt Jay's hand contact my shoulder, which generated a slight jump that consumed my body. "I guess we're late," I heard him say as the students hastily going to class pushed us around. "We need to get to class," I whispered to him over my shoulder as the inharmonious sounds of my peers erupted throughout the hallways.

"Tell me something I don't know," he faintly spoke back to me, causing an unwanted giggle to abscond from my lips.

Putting our hands back together, Jay walked me to block one. When we arrived at the door, he looked at me with joy filling his eyes as he told me that he wished I would have a good day. I slid my hand through his roughed-up hair and hugged him before saying, "Thank you," to which he reciprocated with, "I do it cause I love you." A simple reply that I undoubtedly believed and will forever continue to believe, no matter what may happen.

I put on a brave face, as I do every day, and walk through the crippling expedition that is my existence. School is the dwelling place for the worst of my anxiety or at least it was.

Genuinely, it has the power to destroy every aspect of my day if I succumb to it. The power it can have over me allows it to send pain reeling into the depths of my soul for no apparent reason at all. I have gotten better at dealing with it, but if I stopped fighting, it'll shut me down completely.

Sometimes, I allow my mind to focus only on sounds: the tapping of pencils, the voice of my teacher, and the vibration of my phone in my pocket. All throughout my day, I wondered if the school is the place I should be. My family needed me, and I felt like I failed them. Taking these thoughts out of my mind, I did my English assignment and waited for better to come and save me.

Sadly, worse beat better to the punch as I walk through the halls to my next class. My green eyes saw Jay and Liv snuggled into a little corner into the hall. She ruffed up his dirty brown hair and an enormous smile was mortared onto his face. He leaned into her hair and seemingly whispered something in her ear. She playfully hit him on the side as they share a joint laugh. I could almost make out the crinkles forming by his eyes.

Moments like this remind me of why I sat idly by and let her drive a wedge between us. She made him happy. As his best friend, that is all I want for him. Even if it's not me making him feel that way. He bit her nose and pressed their foreheads together. They didn't have the same class together next and I could tell that they were talking about that as she frowned slightly. He put both of his arms around her neck and kissed the top of her head.

"I miss you whenever I'm not with you," I read on his lips.

I couldn't bear to watch anymore. Looking down, I hurriedly walk passed them. When I walked into my second class of the day, literally bumped into my Jay's girlfriend Olivia. I just hoped she didn't notice me before. "Oh, Jay's friend, I barely saw you there," she laughed as she walked by with her entourage. She didn't like me, and she's made that very obvious.

"You know my name Liv. And if you really did forget it you can always ask Jay. You must be missing him since he didn't come and pick you up this morning."

"How do you know about that? Have you resulted to stalking because you have no friends?" She said like I was a baby, "Sad face." I know I should not let her get to me, but she gets under my skin. Plus, she is still around him, and somewhat right. I am not stalking him, but he was my only friend. He knew that and still chose to spend all his free time with her, per her request.

My third block was with Jay and it was nice to see his face again, especially after dealing with Liv all of the second period. However, the image of Liv and him lingered in my mind. It is like she enjoys messing with me more than actually being with him. Jay sits in the back of the room with his new friends, and I still sit in the front of the room. I got in there before him, hoping that he would choose me over them, and by doing that, choosing me over Liv. He disappointed me like he did every other day he walks right past me.

The bell for our lunch wave rang and that is exactly when I received that rescue. When lunchtime came around and I saw that we were having one of the best school lunches we have, Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. Being able to really see him after multiple hours filled with boring school work and drama, I needed to talk to my best friend.

"Jayson Daniel Daralus, I am so happy to see you," I said as I sat beside him at our old bench outside in the quad.

Lately, he has not been sitting with me; another effect of the license and the girlfriend. "Where are all your cool new friends," I questioned him, my eyes wide with curiosity. When I did not get an answer, I focused my attention deeper into his hazel eyes before he took off his coat and draped it onto my dainty shoulders.

"I would rather be here with you," he faintly whispered to me as he led our faces closer together, leaving only a crevice in between us before he placed his soft lips on my cheek. "You were not singing that song in class a few minutes ago."

I felt my heart skip a beat and not knowing what else to do I laid my head into his neck, feeling his warm arms wrap around me, protecting me from the winter snow.

"Liv found me in the hallway and told me what you said. Did you really have to do that?" Jay stroked my long brown hair as I took in his warmth.

"She started with me first. I have told you that she despises me. I don't know anyone who likes me less." This feeling in my chest and the connection we shared made me want to forgive him even more for leaving me alone when I needed him most.

The realization that we have been together through this journey in life since five and that he has truly always been there for me when no one else was; we have a real and true love that has extended throughout the years. Our hug was an exchange of pure joy between him and me and only us. I clung onto him and we hugged for longer than we probably should have, but that was the last thing to come to mind now.

As we leaned apart from our hug, his hazel eyes met with my brown orbs before he smirked and said, "I really am so sorry," as his cheeks flushed red at his confession.

"What are you sorry for this time?" I felt the corners of my lips turn upwards to reveal a smile, to which Jay took notice.

"When Liv told me that I had to choose between her and you, I should have told her no. You are my best friend. I can't give you up that easily, I shouldn't have."

Of course, I forgave him, maybe too hastily, and we went on with a normal conversation before he brought up the topic of my family.

"You should check up on your family. If it really is as bad as we both think it is, it would probably be a good idea to talk to them." He gave me an encouraging push to call Dennis, but I was scared. I did not know what to expect.

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