Finding Him

Chapter Thirteen

"Aha, very funny," she grumbles before turning around and starting the car. I then turn to Mrs. Harrison who looks at me over and over as if I will vanish into thin air if she takes her eyes off me.

"Nikki, dear, you are gorgeous! It's been so long since I've seen you!" She says, reaching out to touch my arm. The gesture fills me with happiness. Why can't this be my family?

"Thanks, you look great too! I missed you guys so much!" I say wholeheartedly. She looks at me again then I can practically see her eyes zoom in on Dex's jacket wrapped around me. She purses her lips and nods, as if to clear her thoughts. I shift uncomfortably under her gaze and she blinks rapidly before smiling and clearing her throat.

"We missed you too, my husband as well. I do hope you will stay for dinner," she says. I know instantly that it's not an invitation, it's an order, not like I would turn it down anyway.

"That would be great! I'm out of school for the week, so I have nothing to do with my time," I say, trying to keep my voice steady and fully pronounce each word clearly. She was a very nice woman but she made me feel very... uneducated.

"Great," she says, before turning her attention back to her phone.

I turn to Dex and we talk lazily about school and our friends. He says we have lots of homework in history, that I will basically have to do a whole project when I get back and that Allison says I missed a big test in French. I try not to worry about it, there's really nothing I can do. Besides, I have school again on Monday, which is in three days.

Briefly, I ponder what things could happen by Monday. Would Will and I be over and done, or would I be leaving Will for Dex? Would I even have a boyfriend, or was I just digging myself a deep grave in which Dex and Will would bury me in? I guess I'll have to focus this weekend on Dex, get to know him better after years of being apart, before talking to Will.

The truth was, I loved Will. I really did and it was so hard to choose between them because Dex was like the first half of my life, and then, when I moved away, his chapter closed and Will's opened. There was no in between when it came to the people I loved. Will and I became friends instantly, he was the guy I sat next to in all my classes and he showed me around the school when I was really new to the building. I was super young, and thought I would never see Dex again so, of course I agreed to date Will when he asked. Why wouldn't I, he was charming, handsome, and respectful?! As if I had to even say that, anyone could tell just by spending a minute with him. Although, it wasn't just because I loved them both, it was the fact that I was scared to let go, that's the cold hard truth. I'm scared to let go of one of them because I'm afraid I'll make the wrong choice and that they'll leave me. Just like my mother, they'll throw my feelings out the window and leave me empty and alone. That is it isn't it,? I was scared of being alone, with no one to love and no one to love me. I was afraid of being rejected.

"Nikki! Nikki!" I hear someone shout in my ear. I jump and bang my head on the window. Dex chuckles in my ear.

"What was that for?!" I demand, rubbing my forehead.

"You zoned out! And I'm not talking saying the whole zone-out in school because I'm-so-freaking-bored thing, I'm talking about full-blown glazed eyes, open mouth, head-bobbing up and down," Dex laughs.

I freeze, I haven't heard him laugh in so long! It sounds so happy and warm, like butter melting over hot toast or the sweet taste of cookie dough exploding in your mouth. My stomach fills with warmth and I feel the corners of my mouth twitch up. Looking at Dex, I see it, the laughter in his eyes; he had truly laughed. Dex wasn't truly laughing until it hit his eyes. I memorized the image in my mind; the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and how his tongue touched the corner of his lip. I couldn't get enough; it was like feeling the warmth of the sun after a long winter. It never felt like this with Will; like I could never look away, never get enough.