𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞

𝟑𝟑. 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐎𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥

" January 10/ 2019

Dear Diary,

The idea about writing a diary came from my aunt. I have written all the events in this diary but not only mine, I have also included the story of aunt Grace. This story needs to be heard and it will.

James's death is still haunting me although it happened five years ago. I still have nightmares of him, of me killing him. I had killed someone. The worst thing was that in the beginning it didn't even bother me that he was dead, he deserved to be dead and I was forced to take his life.

Alice and I, after I had killed James, left from Snowshill but first I went to pay a visit to Jenny, she wasn't at home exactly as I expected. She had vanished like thick smoke, she had left to save herself. She had understood that I was going to give her straight to the police as well as her son. Although I never learned what happened to Elias, I had a feeling that he was dead. He couldn't be alive, he would be sixty three years old.

I moved with Alice to London and we were staying together with our dad, we never told him what happened but Alice learned everything or better, she read everything. We were now as close as ever. Our dad had got past our mother's death and he was finally his old self again, he was at least trying to give up drinking.

Yesterday was history, tomorrow will be a mystery and today? Today is the present.

This roller coaster called life, astounds me with a sudden feeling of wonder and astonishment at times or strikes me nefariously, without a warning. And yet here I am anticipating life's thrilling adventures, waiting to enshroud its deepest mysteries. I know not the perils that life withholds, nevertheless, I choose to live it to the fullest and revel every aspect of it.

A person life is sacred. It is lived as a secret, and told as a lie. Sure, we share bits and pieces of what happens throughout our days, or within our nights, but that's all. That's all that is shared.

That is a simple act of human nature.

No one would understand the pain we had endured or what we had been through. We haven't shared it with anyone but it's there. Our pain, our happiness, our hurt, everything. We don't need to share anything because now all those things are not just simple, random events, they are a part of us.

They are us...

My dreams have stopped. I never saw a dream that came true the next day since we left from Snowshill. I was actually relieved but also sad. I could see what was going to happen the next day, now I couldn't predict anything. My life is again a mystery to me. A mystery that I have to uncover myself by living everyday.

Goodnight now. It's time for me to have the best sleep while seeing the best random dreams that would never come true again"

James? What are you doing? Who is that with you? No...it couldn't be...no...no please I am begging you...

I woke suddenly, every thought in high definition. Though my eyes were open I couldn't think of why my heart was pounding, mind empty. In the blackness I moved slowly enough to make no sound, fast enough to reach my shoes. After so many years of being hunted every action was automatic, reflexive, efficient.

James was alive but how? I stopped seeing dreams, nothing was becoming true anymore but that dream meant something, I couldn't possibly believe that after all those years my mind brought James in my dreams, alive. I couldn't understand what was happening but what I knew very well was that life was unpredictable.

I quickly got ready without making any noise or waking everyone. I wrote a single note and left it on the kitchen's table.

"I am going back to Snowshill, I know that you will be mad Alice but I saw him. I saw James in my dream. He was alive and he was walking with...I can't even say it. I am going Alice and there is nothing you can do to change that. When you wake up don't follow me, explain to dad the situation, give him my diary, he must know. He must protect you.

I love you both very much. Even if this is a goodbye don't be sad because I love you and love heals everything, or at least that's what they say."

I got into my car and drove to Snowshill, the ride was unusually quick, maybe because I was speeding like a maniac. I knew where to go, I went straight to the bridge of fire, the bridge where I had killed James, the bridge where Elias burned the bodies with Jenny, the bridge where I had seen James alive. The Bridge where I chose not to be a coward and fight for my sister and our lives, as well as our happiness.

I started walking slowly upon the Bridge but no one was there. I stayed there for three hours until I saw two figures approaching, when they saw me they were not very surprised. They knew about my gift, aunt's Grace stories were portraying me as a hero who was able to save everyone's lives.

He told me that there would be no more walks in the park, no more birthdays with Alice and dad and I won't see another snow season. I loved birthdays, I loved snow. How could I say goodbye to all that?

James was in front of me saying all those things. I couldn't talk because all I could see was Elias next to him. His big boots made a rhythmical noise against the bricks, solid and regular like a soldier. His face was stern, yet sinister as he swung the gun from his shoulder.

He had the coldest eyes I had ever seen, his sinister smile was spreading coldness all over my body. His muscular upper body stretched backwards and then suddenly sprung forward. He was exactly as aunt Grace described him. He passed his gun to his son James and they both laughed. James was a bit hesitant but he did take the gun.

He had wide eyes, black as inky pools. He had deep shadows under protruding cheek bones. James took the gun his father had given him and raised it to my face. I saw the evil glint in his eyes. He laughed and it echoed across the darkness that was surrounding us.

Black filled the edges of my vision and the only thing I could hear was my own heartbeat. My breath came in ragged, shallow gasps. Seconds passed as I laid there, then, I heard voices. People swarmed all over me, trying to help me, I realized. They wanted to save me. If I could have, I would have laughed. Surely they would tell that it was far too late for me to be saved.

I closed my eyes. My fragile human heart beat one last time. He had shot me directly on the head, on my forehead.

I know I am already dead. I would float like the sea weed, nothing more than flesh and bones ready to decay in the currents. I wanted to be saved, I wanted a rescuing hand to tow me back to life, to the world I knew.

Now I was afraid too, like aunt Grace. I was afraid of death, afraid of where I would go. Alice's and dad's face passed before me. I was leaving them all behind, alone. I wasn't worried, they would manage without me. Alice may fought a lot with dad but they would manage, I was almost sure about it.

Why did I came here? Because I had to make sure that my family was going to be safe, that no one was going to try and harm them. If I hadn't come James and Elias would come for us, for everyone. After all, I never liked unfinished business.

Now, they thought I was the only one that knew about the diary, no one was going to come after my family.

I was dead.

I was convinced that different people awoken different beasts in us. Whatever we did, bad people, evil people were always going to be there, existing, living among us. Sacrifices needed to be done for our family, for the people we loved, no matter the consequences.

I did not confuse a broken person for an evil person. A broken person could be fixed while an evil person only wanted to cause pain to others.

They deliberately caused chaos.

I did not confuse someone who could be saved with someone, that I would need to be saved from.