𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞

𝟏𝟎. 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

My eyes opened like two flashlight beams, every sense urging me to claw my way to standing. I shook my head mutely. I had been sleeping for an hour tops. This was some nightmare. I breathed. It wasn't real, how could it be. How could I call it a nightmare, if it didn't leave my presence when I was awake?

That dream, that particular dream meant something. It meant that it would happen tomorrow, my dream would come to life just as easy as it appeared in my head. I was going to lose my mind.

Would I hurt someone? Was that our house? All these questions kept popping inside my head making me anxious. I couldn't shake the feeling I had in my dream, the feeling of nothingness, complete and utter nothingness. That house, the bloody walls, it felt as if that dream would stay forever with me, haunting me every day, for the rest of my life.

Hope, tormentor of my dreams. I was deep in the darkness, anticipating. I was deep into that darkness hurting. Somehow into that nothingness I could listen to a loud noise. I couldn't wake up. I stepped in there all alone with my forbidding panic. Instead, I uncovered the contagion.

I got up from my armchair and walked out of the library, I went straight to the kitchen and threw my tired body onto one of the chairs. Today I didn't want to do anything, I felt awful not only because of the recent events but also because Alice wouldn't dare believe me or even listen to me.

I sat there, on that chair staring out of the large window. There was nothing I loved more than those hot mornings when I could sit on my bed and let the sun beat down on my skin. What I liked the most was the small gusts of wind that blew past me, making my skin shiver before it returned to its still, warmed state.

I got up and rushed to forcefully open the windows so that more light could come in. Suddenly, as I was staring out of the window I felt migraine struck. I was once again a prisoner, helpless locked in my cage of pain, I started seeing flashing colorful spots and darkness again.

Pain was throbbing so violently that it made me wonder how my skull was not cracking open. I walked until the faucet and slowly let the cold water run. As water started trickling down, my mind raced to the memory of the Bridge, the lake, the faces. I backed up viciously and fell down onto the cold pavement.

The only thing that I was sure at that point was the fact that I was losing my mind. As I laid there on the pavement, I felt a strong hand trying to pull me up, it was Alice. I could see the fear in her eyes as she was looking at me, laying there on the floor, without moving.

She managed to lift me up and she carried me to our room. She gently put me on the bed and sat beside me, I couldn't speak, I just closed my eyes and wished for the pain to go away. Dreams and visions tended to give me headaches but not so strong ones. Often the nausea would overwhelm me and I would vomit. One eye would water on the painful side and my nose would run. I hated it.

I carefully rolled onto her side and looked at the wall. Wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and sleep, I turned around and pulled the blanket up over my shoulder. When I re-opened my eyes Alice wasn't next to me anymore. My cheeks were wet and my whole body was bathed in cold sweat. The sheets were twisted around my limbs, probably because I was turning all the time in my sleep. I felt my heart pounding against my chest. The room was entirely dark, or so I thought.

I got up and slowly walked downstairs, when Alice realized that I was awake she rushed towards me hugging me tightly. It was time to talk, time to have a serious conversation with her.

"Alice we need to talk," I said and I fell onto the couch in the living room.

"How do you feel? For a minute I was scared, I thought something had happened to you," She answered me with a worried look.

"I am fine," I murmured. "Listen to me Alice, either you will help me or don't get in my way. I have made my decision and is to do aunt's Grace last wish. She knew she was going to die. How do you explain that? I am reading her journal Alice. If you only knew what she is writing you would understand," I said while I was trying to catch my breath.

"Can't you just realize that all of this is just a tale? None of this is real. I am not in the mood to start digging into other people's lives. Do whatever you want but Victoria, I am telling you that this is not going to end well for you. Don't get messed up in crazy stories. We didn't came here to deal with this. Especially in your state..with your problems," she answered me as calmly as she could.

"I can handle it," I said without paying attention to her. "Now excuse me, I am going to go for a walk around the village. As for my problem, it's true Alice, my dreams are real," I was determined to find out the truth and that was exactly what I was going to do. I didn't expect her to help me.

I rushed upstairs and took a hot shower so that I could finally relax. I wore my warmest clothes and stared at the mirror, I gazed at my reflection as if I was looking at myself for the first time, I wouldn't let anything stop me.

I went back downstairs and with the corner of my eye I saw Alice pacing up and down at the living room. I saw clearly the way she walked, shoulders back, yet her eyes frequently checking left and right. It was as if she felt superior and scared all at once. I continued walking down the stairs until I faced her.

"I am going out," I said quickly without looking into her eyes. And with that, I left.

It wasn't fair, I was always there and she...she couldn't believe me. As soon as I exited the house I saw the other houses, they were like paintings, cold in their rendered realism, the road between us a never ending expanse of burning black.

And so the road got longer and the paintings merged on a horizon rapidly shrinking. All that remained were the trees, the birds, the flowers that bloom and my two feet on the Earth. All I felt was love from a universe away, enough to tingle fingertips and ignite my core. I once thought that loneliness and solitude were different things, yet if loneliness was a utter blackness, solitude was being alone in a beautiful garden. I continued walking walking alone, trying to push Alice outside of my head.