Don't Play With My Heart - A Jai Brooks Fan Fiction (Watty Awards 2014)

Chapter 18: My Life Would Suck Without You

Tamara’s POV

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN SAY THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW!” I yell across the room, not even trying to hide the fact that I was not impressed from anyone in the house.

“WHY ARE YOU EVEN MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS? YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE SIGNING UP FOR; YOU KNEW I WAS FAMOUS WHEN WE STARTED THIS!” he yelled back.

“OH, I’M SORRY MR BIG SHOT. I JUST ASSUMED THAT BECAUSE I’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT YOU WOULD STICK UP FOR ME BUT APPARENTLY THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOUR IS BELOW YOU,” I retort.

This yelling match had been going on for a while and it was hard to believe that just half an hour previous, we had been snuggling on his bed watching YouTube videos and reading through his mentions on twitter, which was ultimately where the whole drama had begun. Now that we had gone public, we were the new hot topic both at school and on twitter. The cute selfies and loved up conversations that we had online had sparked some sort of division in the fandom; people who ‘shipped’ us and people who didn’t. I’d actually stopped going on twitter as often now because of all the traffic that was coming through my mentions. Comments upon comments were about how wrong I was for Jai and that I didn’t deserve him, but I’d never told Jai. Because he was right; I did know about this beforehand. In fact it was one of the reasons that held me back in the first place.

It had been six and a half weeks since the party and I’d had my first month at Penola High. It had been less drama than I’d thought because I was expecting something to come up about me bailing on the party but like the boys had said, the Penola kids really knew how to party. Basically, the only thing anyone remembered about me was that I got killer drunk and that registered as a legendary status, at least for the first few days. Naturally, I spent most of my time with the rest of the boys and Sami, who had gained special entry into the group for obvious reasons. I was really lucky in that every single one of my classes had either Jai or one of the others in it so I was never alone. Even though it was only the fifth week, I had so much to catch up on and I had so much to learn about the system down here in regards to getting into university.

Although we spent every day at school together, we had little alone time, what with all the homework and extra work I needed to complete. Every time that I sent him away because of schoolwork, I could see in his eyes that he was killing inside but he never said anything. I always felt guilty doing it but this was my future and I needed to be serious about it. It was easier for him: he had the Janoskians and he didn’t really need a back-up plan for that. I guess all that anger had built up inside of him to allow this rage to come out, a rage that I’d never seen in him before.

“I just seriously can’t believe that you could see that and not have any comment on it at all,” I add, lowering my voice, “I thought that I meant something to you and that you would protect me but I guess not.”

I gave him one last longing look, searching for something that told me that the ‘old’ Jai was going to emerge from the ashes and fight for me to stay. To protect me like he said he would. But I saw nothing but cold emptiness in his eyes. I turned and left, tears welling in my eyes as I briskly walk down the stairs and out the door, avoiding eye contact from anyone. I basically ran home and was completely out of breath on account of crying and running simultaneously all the way home. I run past Karen’s questioning looks to my bedroom and lock the door. I flop face down on my bed, cuddling my pillow to myself and cry. I ignore the constant knocking and Karen’s pleas to open the door and talk to her. I couldn’t face her right now. My mind swirled with thoughts about why he would do this to me. Why would he not say a thing to me and just look at me with such distant eyes? Was I no longer good enough for his status? Was I becoming that clingy, defenceless girlfriend I was always afraid of turning into?